Frequent lurker here

[jody o.]

Bonnie,

Just read your post. My son had surgery in Toronto (Hospital for Sick Children). The staff there are really very nice. The hospital is beautiful...it always made me feel better when we were there...beautiful surroundings, etc. Jack's surgery lasted 13 hours. We were there for less than a week though. First day post surgery was the hardest, but then it got better. The first month post-surgery is always hard...emotions are SOOOO close to the surface at that time. Cry when you feel like it (don't feel guilty like me). Trust in your doctor (Dr. Clarke??), and then put it in someone "bigger's" hands. I feel for you going it alone, too...I can't imagine that. I only made the trip up there from Buffalo once without my hubby (mom-in-law came along)...tough drive, but you can do it. We're thinking of you...good luck

Jody O.

[Bonnie]

I have such a horrible memory! I would love to respond to everyone's posts but I can barely remember my name some days! LOL

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I know that I can find some supports in Toronto if we need to stay. Albita has become a very good friend and I meet with her each time I am there. I also know another woman from a different forum.

Luckily, I have been to the hospital several times already and have met Dr Clarke and Chris and feel very comfortable with them (they have already seen me cry!!).

I know the hospital fairly well and feel really comfortable at the hostel too.

The bad part is that I know that I never know how I'm going to feel until I'm feeling it there! I thought that I was doing okay last time until I got the news at the assessment and I broke down crying - never saw it coming! I think that's part of it too. Agghhhhh! Only 2 more sleeps and I will know what'll be happening *this time*.

I don't want Avery to have to endure surgery but I hate seeing her struggle around and fall over 100 times a day!

I do believe strongly that what's meant to happen, will. I don't know if I believe in God specifically but I know that it's not all up to us!! I guess I will have to more consciously put my faith in whatever it is. I know that we have a path set out for us and that every kink is an invaluable learning opportunity but I'M A PLANNER!! LOL

Thanks again for listening.

p.s. the reason it'll be about 3 weeks for us is that we go for the appt. Wednesday then, if surgery is needed, we stay there for tests and the surgery date isn't for another week or so. Then she will have it and will wait for recovery (4-5 days I'm told). So, from when we fly out until we arrive back it'll be almost 3 weeks! Yuck.

[jody o.]

Bonnie, from one "planner" to another, I know where you're coming from. With Jack's nerve transfer surgery, we had like 3-days notice!!! I was a wreck (started smoking again about an hour after I heard). That was rough (13 hour surgery). The tendon transfer he had in May.......1 day notice!!! I was supposed to work that night and actually did go in but I was a wreck trying to wait on people, constantly on the verge of tears. I know what you mean about the crying. I have often felt pretty good in the waiting room to see Dr. Clarke & Chris, but as soon as we get in the room and sit down....wham....I feel the tears well up. Even talking about it I feel like crying. Everything's on the surface....my love for my son....my hopes for him....some lingering guilt about his injury....everything! It's really something. I have always cried easily...I just wish it didn't embarass me. I know it shouldn't...don't you? Oh well. Good luck...I am in an on-line group with Albita. She is fun. We are going to Toronto 1st week in December. I would love to meet her. Well, sorry I'm rambling. Good luck Bonnie...we stayed at the hostel too. It wasn't bad, but I was happier when surgery was over & I was sleeping in the room with my baby.

[mjwjr]

you know my Mom cried all the time when we were getting ready for my surgery last year

SHe was so worried.

I have a dad, and he was the one who lost it at the hospital.

I guess it must be hard to have both jobs.

I kn everything is going to be ok

we say prayers here, it helps us put things in God's hands

Maybe he could sort of help , be like my dad was I mean

[marymom]

bumping this thread up, anyone heard from Bonnie? We are holding you and your daughter and older child in bright light sweetie