United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

Francine, so sorry to hear about Maia's class and how they reacted to the teachers explanation! I hope the teacher can undo some of the damage by explaining that even though Maia could hurt herself more easily than others she is still a wonderful little girl who would love playing with them all!

Lenni

As a mom and a teacher I can understand the thoughts on each side of the issue. I have had students with different problems that having an open discussion has been very benifical. From personal experince it tends to work better with learnig differences and behavior more than physical limitations, espcially at the lower grades. I think a lot of it is how the conversation is handeled. Building bridges as to thing all the kids have in common is a good place to start if you choose to have this kind of discussion. With younger kids they do not understand cometimes that the challenge is not "catching".

Francine- I am so sorry to hear how your little one was treated. The start of school is a rough time. I will keep your family in our thughts and prayers.

I have two children, Michael our eldest son will be 12 tomorrow he has a form of Autism and our younger son Gavin 10 has ropbi.
Both boys attend a mainstream school and at no time has a class teacher felt the need to comment to the whole class on their capabilities. Michael has severe co-ordination problems and finds many tasks difficult to perform, such a tyeing shoe laces, cutting out shapes, large volumes of written work. Although the students in his class were never given any Idea about his problems ( in fact he wasn't properly diagnosed until he was 7 yrs) they just accepted that he was Michael and he needed help with some tasks. Even the most cool/ streetwise kids accepted him for himself, even helping him tie his soccer boots for training.
Gavin has never needed anyone to help him at all - he is so determined to do things himself, even post-operatively last year he went to school in his plaster of paris body cast and took part in all activities apart from Phyiscial Education.
I guess what I want to say, is that sometimes the teacher is the only person who needs to know- no children should be pulling on any childs arms, so the dislocation problem from other children should be dealt with from the start for all children - and as long as the teacher is aware of any potential dangers and problems with your child's obpi maybe that should be enough.
Over here chidlren start full time school at the age of 4 years, so they are very young when they all meet up, and I do think that for the most part, because the children are so young they accept each others differences as part of the child and not something to be scared about.
Of course there will always be the exception to this rule, but in our experience it's often the Mums who worry more about any potential problems than the children do - which of course is better for the children!
KAren

Lenni, I think I would allow it, but tell the teacher you would like to be there if the kids have any questions. Kids are resilient.What I did was have a conference with the school staff. Michaelas been at school for a month now and has made friends, so now we want to talk to the class.Since we gave her time to make friends first, I feel it will be more informational, the kids won't base their judgement of her on the "talk" because they've already gotten to know her. The rule is to not invade someone elses space and not to touch without permission so the teacher has just made the kids follow the rules till now so we don't have to worry about the arm getting pulled. The only reason we're doing it now is because these KIndergardeners have big questions like Why does Michaela leave early tuesday and Thursday. Why does she were that thing on her arm?(splint)The one thing that worked out really well is the fact that there is a boy in a wheel chair in her class too.Just physical disability like Michaela, so her class is learning from the start about people just being different. This helped Michaela,too, she doesn't have to be singled out.

Francine I'm so sorry Maia had a hard first day. It will get better. Soon they will see she can play and be friends. They were probably more afraid they'd hurt her than not wanting to be friends with her.Don't you hate when your kids hurt? You just want to take care of it, unfortunately some things we can't. Give her big hugs! LeeAnne

I know that when my dad came in and told the class about my arm I was mortified. I never told him, but it totally embarrassed me. If your child does not want a class discussion, then don't do it.
erica

We have always been very open about Stephanie's arm. She goes to a very small school. The other students are very protective of her. The older boys were so bad when she first started that they would not even let her climb on the jungle gym unless two or three of them were around her, (one helping her climb and two standing below, just in case her arm gave out!) She loved the attention, imagine being in K and have 6th grade boys fawn over you! They have eased up slightly, but it is understood they just can't pull on her arm. I believe that openness is good, if the teacher and the school handle it correctly; it would totally depend on the school and the students there. Some children can be so mean. . . How does your daughter feel about all of this?

I think it is a good idea for the reason of safety. I think that the children need to know what they can do with your child and what they can't. Like tug and pull etc. When my child had primary surgery, I went to my older children's school and explained to the children what was happening, how my older two would feel while we were gone to Texas and why we were going to texas(WE LIVED IN CALIFORNIA) the children and teachers were very supportive and when we got home I went back to the school and explained post op to them. I was gald I did. We were a fixture at school and I didn't waant them to be mean and ask mean questions of my older two....maybe questions they couldn't handle to answer. I would do it that way again. I fell when my son would reach school age, I would allow the teacher to discuss this issue with the children as long as I was there

No problem louise, that is what these boards are for....hoping you are having a better day !!!

Well today was much better at school - the two teachers sat the kids down and read one of the books on differences. Turns out that the girl doing the teasing turned on 3 other kids today - so it's not personal to Maia. The teachers are taking a zero tolerance to any teasing.

Today - 5 of the other moms came and talked to me. One mom said that she told her daughter to help Maia with anything she can help her with and I told the mom that it was unnecessary because it's really important for Maia to do things on her own so that she can feel just like any of the kid at school. At least they are talking to me about it- this is a big plus over last year.