United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

Oh, I agree, at the school they have these posters all around that say " BEE SAFE" "STAY SAFE" If someone at home or at school is hurting you, tell a trusting adult. They are all around the school and then it has the number to DCFS. And then they wonder why there are so many juvenile deliquents nowadays. Because you are afraid to punish your own children.

A few years ago, I had a DCFS because of something my EX HUSBAND did to my daughter. So they were treating me like the pedifile. I told them look, you don't go and see him twice a month, you don't bother him once a week with a phone call so why are you bothering me? To make a long story short, one day my oldst who was 13 at the time, told our case worker that I hit his, I didn't but he thougt if he told er that he would get to live with his "DADDY" she told him that as long as there were no bruises, there was nothing she could do, mind you she had been our caseworker for 15 months so she knew us very well, but you are right. The first few weeks of school they teach this stuff and the kids are told to write it on a paper and put it in a safe place. My son raised his hand last year, he was 7 then and said, is a garbage can a safe place, because I don't need this, no one at my house would hit me like that !!! Good for HIM !!! And another point here is that if a child is abused, they will not call because they are afaid of the abuser, it is the one's that "THINK" they are abused that cal to be smart !!!

BTW...something evey teenage parent should know. My son at the time was 13 and thought that he needed the top brand gym shoes, and jeans and shirts etc, etc. When he told the caseworker that he was not being cared for because I wouldn't buy him these items, she laughed and said, "your parents are required to provide you with one pair of shoes and two complete outfits, Shirt, pants, underwear and socks. Anything else is a bonus" Then she asked"ANY OTHER COMPLAINTS" there were none !!!

GAYLE

Yes I think the kids see it as a game to get their way. The idiot SS counselor told her that she could make a list of demands and that I could not make rules for the kids in my house. Well, it will be a cold day in h-ll before the kids or anyone living here will tell me what they can and can't do. She had a car that she was paying for, we had taken a loan out for her. The only reason we did that was so she could help with the baby as I was working at the time and some days she took him to the sitter. So her demand is that we return the payments she made for the car that was in our name. Haha, I said fine, but then you are going to pay rental for the time you have had the car. I called a rental place so she knew I didn't make up the price. I said ok so now you owe us $5000.oo dollars. Boy was that an eye opener. Then she says she wants to go to the coffee house whenever she wants. LOL, I knew the owner was dealing drugs there. Thus we had limited to 2 nights a week. The owner is now in prison for dealing drugs there. The ss counselor tried to tell me I had to let her go there as much as she wanted even knowing the owner was dealing drugs. I said that's the problem with kids these days. Parent's don't know where they are and what they are doing and you are supporting this. I believe if they are in these situations that eventually they will participate. I also said she could no longer go to that person's house as the mother was a bad influence. I told her she could either live by my rules at my house or go live there with them. This was on Wed. I told her she had until sat a.m. to let me know. But if she went she would not take my car or cell. These were things she had for helping around here and are not owed to her. I said once the door shuts behind you remember that I only have 3 kids, you have made your choice. I will not pay child support to them and must have this in writing. This was the toughest thing to ever have to say to your child. I knew I didn't want this but I am not living in a house where the kids make the rules. I feel I have every right to know where my child is. It is my responsibility to see that they grow to be responsible productive adults. Well, saturday came and she did stay. It was tense around here for a while. But she is a great adult and very sorry that she played the game. When she graduated from high school some of the rules , which weren't really that hard or many did change, as I feel that I did what I am supposed to. I did see that she graduated and had a chance for a productive life. She moved out later that year thinking that when you are on your own you can do what you want. She soon learned with rent, car payment, cell, food, utilitie, ect, ect. that no, you really can't do what you want. You have to work and parents really do a lot for you that you take for granted. She moved back less than 4 mos later and is now in college going for nursing.
Sue

Sue,
Thank You for sharing your Journey with your daughter. It really gives alot of food for thought on how to handle teenage struggles with Independence. I sure learned something new today!

I also believe that your daughter will make you
P-R-O-U-D!

HUGS!,
Carolyn J

You said it Sue, the think it is soooo hard. I m glad she finaly made the right choise to get her life together !!! Good Job MOM !!! GAYLE