United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

You know this is all making some "BPI MOM" sense now. Brandon is 8 1/2 and he has never brought up the issue of not being aboe to cut, he can but like Amy said,"Sometimes he makes a mess" But lately I noticed him not wanting to eat chicken and steak etc, etc. I never thought that it could be that he didn't want to ask for help. Last night we had Chinese food(DH cooked. what a treat)and Brandon ate like he never ate before, he didn't have to cut it. I will have to start to cut up his chicken and steak and see if that works....LIGHT BULB moment...Duh !!! Thank you for the HELP !! GAYLE

I know this is a little off topic, but I just want to say "have fun in Gettysbur" to Frankie. We just went there last week and had a blast with a group of Boy Scouts! What a marvelous trip that was. We're thinking of going back again just as a family. The Boy Scouts even did Pickett's Run and a gentleman asked if he could take the Scouts picture because they were all in uniform with the American Flag and their Troop Flag as well. My son was beaming (as well as his Dad and I).

Tanya in NY

Gayle,
My mother always cut my meat in the kitchen before she put my plate on the table. I didn't have to ask...but then I didn't have ANY choices either. I suggest asking Brandon(MY GUY TOO!!) which he would prefer.Other times my mother just did it at the table and embarrasssed me when we had company.

HUGS Heal,
Carolyn J
LOBPI/68

Tanya
Did you go on the midnight self guided tour of the grave yard??? That's all frankie and his friends are talking about, Frankie loves history so this is thrilling to him. As far as food goes Frankie is a steak man but I always serve it cut up and his friends moms do the same if he eats at there houses and he will not ask for help so I think I'm going to call his school counselor and see if where ever they eat at is notified by one of the teachers just to send the food cut up. his friends are great and always offer to help but when I ask if he would let one of his friends cut his food he said no way are they playing with his food he said he would eat with his hands first. No matter what I'm sure he will do fine. i found an old catalogue from his old OT it has rocker knives that claim to cut meat and they are like 15 bucks so I think I'll order one just to try it out. Mare

No, we passed on the ghost tours, although they did sound interesting. Not enough time to do all that we'd like to do with such a big group of people there. He could or his teacher could ask the waiter/waitress to have the food brought out cut up already from the kitchen. What should they care, right? It's worth a shot.

Tanya in NY
Amber's Mom, ROBPI, 4 years old

I don't mean to sound callous, and I know Frankie is and always will be your child, but as a teen, it may be better if he starts to take the lead on figuring out how to handle these situations by himself. They will always be a part of his life. Check out Kath's post about her granddaughter's Confirmation for reference. We face these tricky situations all the time, every day, and learning how to adapt and the best way for us to handle them is part of growing up. You can't always be there to think ahead on these things and to plan out what the reaction will be and even as you think up as many of the things that you can possibly worry about and plan for, stuff always hits you when you least expect it. As a person who does things a little differently than the mainstream population, I face these little challenges all the time. Just last Sunday, I was at a baby shower and we were eating cake, everyone was standing around holding the plate in one hand and using the other to eat. Well, after about a minute of that, my BPI arm starts to really hurt. So I had to find a different way to deal with that.
A close friend of mine has a number of food allergies to very common ingredients, and must avoid them at all costs. She can't rely on others to remember and help her, she needs to take responsibility for making sure something is safe.
In some ways a BPI is like that, as we get older, we need to take on more and more of the responsibility for taking care of ourselves, and as difficult as that is to let go and let your kids be more independent, it's healthier in the long run if the kid can handle these situations for himself. My semi-unasked for opinion is this: if Frankie thinks he won't be able to cut meat, he has several options, he can: order something that can be eaten without a sharp knife, he can ask a friend to cut his meat, he can ask a teacher to cut it, he can ask the waiter to cut it up for him, or he can try and struggle by himself. Personally, I'd rather ask for the meat to be cut up in the kitchen when ordering it, rather than put on a show of struggling and draw more attention to myself. Frankie's not a little kid, and if you ask the teacher, it takes away from his ability to grow and handle these things on his own. Why don't you talk over the options with him and let him decide the best way for him to handle it? That's what I'd want my parents to do if I were his age. These situations pop up all the time and its better to give him the tools to deal with them then to try and fix them for him. You won't always be there and he will be grateful in the long run.
Carrie
25OBPI

After reading CArrie's post she really does have some good advice. I was pretty spoiled before college. My mom always took care of every thing, like making all my doctors appointment and planning ahead for me. I guess that made me have a bit of a reality check here. Thankfully I am huge fan of pasta so I usually just oreder that when I go out but there are things I dont do or dont do well. I hate asking for help especially when I have to ask my peers so I usually just find my own way and risk making my mess.

The only way to get things done it to keep trying until you find a way that works. Not to be mean at all but maybe it would be a good idea not to cut up meat before it is searved and see how Frankie reacts. It could help him adapt.

Just a thought since he is getting older, I wouldnt want reality to slap him in the face as well.

Hugs,
Amy