disclosing settlement to child

[Kath]

Just one more thing. I always knew it was the doctors fault... I think the reason I did was because HE pressed to hard and injured me. Even when I was born they knew better and knew what to do to prevent this injury. They knew that there would be problems and should have preformed a C-Section to prevent another one of my mothers children from dying but the Doctor choose not to...
We are talking about telling a young person about their injury... I still don't think the doctor did this on purpose to me... faulty judgement, poor education either one makes no difference it was his responsibility to deliver me safely and he did not. My Mom on the other hand was happy I was alive because she lost other children to difficult deliveries.

Kath

[CW1992]

Sorry Krista - after re-reading my last post - I think I might have been getting too many paint fumes! This school picnic is killing me!:) I've been painting all day on a flower pot for the 3rd grade auction..... And I do think it is so important that the child realize that the doctor did not hurt them on purpose. The doctor DID make a mistake.
Christy

[admin]

Christy,

That's okay. I was actually writing b/c I agreed with your post. I was trying to agree, but put it in my own words. I agree 100% with your post and I do believe that no doctor will injure a child on purpose although they are at fault for causing the injury. Hope you understand the intentions of my previous post now.

~Krista~

[CW1992]

Krista - I do understand!:) I'm heading back in there to paint some more! LOL I might not understand things later today though after I finish this darn project! LOL
Christy

[CW1992]

Me again - sorry! I had a paper plate full of different colored paints out that I was painting from and our kitten just walked through the plate and now our kitchen is covered in all different colored paw prints! LOL I could laugh or I could cry - I'm laughing though!
Christy

[Tanner's Mom]

I just wanted to say THANK YOU to all of you who are sharing on this thread. I think this is an important topic and there are many things to consider. I appreciate all the input and am still trying to sort through all of this myself, and figure out what will work best for our family and my child.

Thank you!
Lisa

[katep]

This is an interesting thread. I'm so glad for this message board, that those of us with young children can "pre-think" so many of these issues, so we aren't surprised later!!

I've struggled to come to grips with how to deal with this topic myself. I've finally started to tell Joshua (13months old, not old enough to understand) about his birth. I tell him that when he was born he had a rough time, but he was sooo strong and I was sooo proud of him! I want him to take from all this that even when he was just coming into the world, he was able to overcome adversity! Yes, he shouldn't have been injured, yes, the midwife made a mistake. But that is not the message he needs to hear. Rather than emphasize the preventability of his injury, I talk about his strength and determination from the very start, and how he can always overcome anything put in his path. If he hears that enough times, he might just believe it when he's older

Kate

[Mandie]

yeah, i am getting ideas about what to say when sarah starts asking questions. We never mention her arm here or that she was injured. We just put out therapy into our daily routine. I know the time will come that she will ask why it is different than the other.

[dmom]

Christy,

You're right. I like your explanation. I understand why you said "accidentally" - you don't want to give your child a complex when she is struggling as it is. I like your sensitivity.

Janet

[dmom]

P.S. You guys are all so positive and strong. I'm feeling like such a heel.
Here's our method of coping: my children all raspberry the hospital every time we drive by it and then collapse in giggles. (I'm sure that isn't the prescribed, mature method for dealing with BPI - but hey, whatever works!)

Janet