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Re: Black Humor *WARNING: may be tasteless and crass to some!!
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 10:53 am
by admin
Oh my gosh, I had the most harty laugh reading your post :CW1992
Brittney is a hoot...love the birth comment she made.
Our daughter is only 1 now, so we are still in the beginning of the journey hitting the therapy hard. There hasn't been this kind of opportunity to laugh reguarding the injury yet. I can tell tho, that she has a HUGE sence of humor, and when she's old enough to talk, I'll be able to add some of her quotes.
to Lou Litz:
I'm sorry you are not on the same vein. We are all aware that the heartache will NEVER go away. These are comments from the BPI child to their strong parents, on the contrary, displaying how well they have developed socially, and mentally, dispite their injury. These children do not feel shame for being 'different'.
In fact, if another BPI child were to read these posts, I believe they would be a welcomed release.
I hope this helps you to have a paradigm shift as to the way this humor was meant to be understood.
If we, as parents, can't 'deal' with this injury....how can we expect our children to grow up with self confidence?
By the way, there is no such thing as politically correct. It is impossible to please all the people all the time. But that's another debate!
hoping your nights are restful, and days are peaceful,
SusanLynn
Re: Black Humor *WARNING: may be tasteless and crass to some!!
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 10:54 am
by admin
ROFLAO.....Soooo funny loved to have a good laugh about this, so much nicer than all the bad things THANKS for making my morning. Oh And ANYONE having Offended comments to make should have read the title frist. Again Thanks, even my husband and daughter loved this.
melanie
Re: Black Humor *WARNING: may be tasteless and crass to some!!
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 11:13 am
by admin
my 8 year old daughter has also made the comment of getting married to a ROBPI (she LOBPI)....
Re: Black Humor *WARNING: may be tasteless and crass to some!!
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 11:30 am
by admin
Kate
I am not offended what so ever by your post. I think it is a healthy way to deal with the injury. It's harmless, but that is my opinion. I hope Ella can laugh at a joke like this when she is older. I hope that she would not be offended. If she can laugh then she is happy with herself no matter what. That's how it should be.
~Krista~
Re: Black Humor *WARNING: may be tasteless and crass to some!!
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 11:46 am
by admin
I'm a new mom and can still understand the need for humor with this injury. Actually, when my baby was newborn, I couldn't bear to read ANYTHING on this site because it was all so painful. I think the warning is fair. Everyone needs this site to vent or express THEIR emotions. I am amazed by how much contraversy and disagreements there are here, but it all helps me (as a new mom) to see all the angles of thinking and dealing, as does this humor.
Re: Black Humor *WARNING: may be tasteless and crass to some!!
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 12:03 pm
by Mandie
I think that it is great that our kids can go on with their normal lives. Sarah is three years old and never mentions her right arm being any different than the left. But when she finally does ralize that it is different, she is the type of child that will use humor like the above mentioned kids. Using humor is MUCH better than walking around feeling sorry for themselves. Everyone is different and has their own opinions, but that is what makes this a message board!
I mostly just read post, barely actually post, but that is for my own reasons. Some post rub me the wrong way too, but I respect others by not replying to them. Everyone is entitled to their own opinons.
-Mandie
Re: Black Humor *WARNING: may be tasteless and crass to some!!
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 12:42 pm
by TNT1999
I'll add my thoughts. I think it's cute and funny to read some of the comments that those with BPI make themselves as children or adults. I also think it's great that as parents/family/friends, etc. that we laugh WITH them when THEY make jokes / comments. However, I don't think that as parents we should be making any jokes ourselves. I don't think it's necessarily rude for a stranger to ask about tape. What I do think is rude is for a parent to respond that it keeps his arm from falling off. This could really frighten a child. What if an innocent bystander heard that reply? What if a sibling hear that reply? What would they think? I would hope no parent would ever answer like that, no matter how tired they were of questions or comments. Personally, I would never make jokes about Nicole's arm. If she wants to make jokes about it and laugh, then I'll laugh with her, but it has to be on her terms.
~Tina
Re: Black Humor *WARNING: may be tasteless and crass to some!!
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 12:46 pm
by Kath
I see no harm in humor and I am an OBPI reading the posts. I would never have survived my injury without humor. For those who are offended take a look at the adult/obpi posting support for this post. Kate gave a warning if it upsets you close the post and don't read it. I hope that someday your children can come to a place of humor. OBPI can only be the end of the world if you let it. Humor is what helps us/obpi deal with our frustrations.
Re: Black Humor *WARNING: may be tasteless and crass to some!!
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 1:04 pm
by Lenni
We cannot always agree but we can agree to disagree!! That is the adult thing to do. I am one who did not find anything funny about this post but I respect all those that did and I am glad it works for ya all.
Lenni
Re: Black Humor *WARNING: may be tasteless and crass to some!!
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 1:25 pm
by lizzyb
I can only speak from an adult TBPI point of view, and from this viewpoint I cannot stress enough how important it is to have a sense of humour about ones own injury, and to share that sense of humour with those who truly understand.
I can fully sympathise why some people do not find anything funny about it, particularly in the early days, but I do believe that almost everyone who has this injury will find a certain level of humour about it at some point in their lives. It seems inhevitable, as there is a very real need for it.
As Krista has said in her post, laughing at and treating the injury and all its difficulties with a wry sense of humour proves beyond doubt that the person is happy with themselves no matter what, and will probably be better equipped mentally to take on all lifes other challenges from then on because of it. (the humour)
At the same time though, I can see why some parents wouldn't be comfortable with this kind of humour about 'the arm,' because they haven't reached the same comfort level as others may have done. Because of this, we have a section on the TBPI website that is passworded to make sure it isn't open for just anyone to view. The bulk of the section comprises of a number of cartoons about certain aspects of adult life with the injury. These cartoons are rightly described as 'black humour,' but everyone who has seen them have thought they were extremely funny, and to date, I have not had any complaints about them, but I will still refrain from allowing them to be seen by just anyone logging on to the website. I know many parents in particular are at a very vulverable stage in their lives and these cartoons could cause much upset.
I hope that the people here who have been offended by Kate's post will look back at it in time and realise what she was getting at. Humour is a very healthy way of dealing with a trauma in life. Your kids will be adults one day, and will find certain aspects of the whole thing extremely funny then, if not before, even if you don't right now or ever will.
I personally don't know where I would be today without having a good laugh about my situation and I am certain that many others will agree with me when I say that this sense of humour makes us stronger and more able to cope.
All the best everyone..
Lizzy B