Not BPI related, but need advice please

[admin]

I've just been beside myself since yesterday, and I'm hoping to get some advce.

My son and daughter started a new daycare a couple weeks ago. We've been very happy with the daycare and the kids really seem to enjoy it, especially the field trips they take once a week. Yesterday, they took a little field trip to the McDonald's Playplace. When it was time to go home, they lined the kids up, did a head count, and a bit later got the kids on the bus. They got back to the daycare and the manager of the McDonald's called them. He asked if they had a little boy by my son's name there and they said yes. The manager said, "Is he there now?" And they said,"Yes, he's taking a nap." Then the manager told them, "NO, he is not. He's here in my office at McDonald's." They had left my 4 year old alone in the parking lot at McDonald's! Of course, they immediately drove back and picked him up. The manager said that when the lady picked him up, she offered no hugs or anything. She just said, "I'm sorry Justin, but you KNOW you're not supposed to get out of line."

The driver of the bus called me about an hour later, and trying to sugar coat the whole thing, made it sound like they pulled out of the parking lot, noticed he wasn't there, and turned right back around and got him. Even at that, I was so upset, I drove as fast as I could to the daycare, scooped up my kids and came home. The busdriver kept saying, "I'm sorry." But it wasn't the type of apology you give someone when you lose their child.

When I got my son home I asked him what happend. He said he'd been in line, then wanted to go back and play, so he did. When he turned around, he said, "Everyone was gone. I lost my teachers and all my friends." He said he walked around looking for them, them got scared and stated to cry. He said he'd told a woman in the parking lot he was lost, and she took him inside to the manager.

After speaking to the manager at McDonald's, I learned there is video tape of the entire incident. I was even more horrified after I saw it.

There were a LOT of children in the play place yesterday. Two different daycares brought groups of kids in, plus the regular customers. My son's teacher didn't seem to realize he was part of HER class. Remember, he's only been with this daycare 2 weeks. She did not recognize him as part of her class! When she lined the kids up, she did not ask him to get in line. Eventually, he wandered over and stood in line himself. He wandered in and out of the line for the entire 20 minutes the children were standing there waiting to go. There is an 8-minute time frame on the video where my baby is NO WHERE to be found at all! His entire class and the teachers are all there, but not my son! Not only did they leave him there alone, they weren't watching him when they were there! He was alone roaming around inside and in the parking lot for about 35 minutes. Thank God nothing happend to him! The whole thing is just horrible!

I thought for sure I'd get a frantic call from the director of the daycare, but I did not. I called there and asked to speak to her, and was told she was out of town. I told them I'd like to speak to someone about my son who was LOST at McDonald's and the lady kind of laughed and said, "Oh, honey, he wasn't LOST." I offered her a few choice words that I won't share here, but I'm sure you can imagine how the conversation went.

Ten minutes later, the director called me. Seems she wasn't out of town at all, and was even at work yesterday. This woman gave me some obligatory apology and acted like it was no big deal. If it were me, I'd be falling all over myself to apologize. She did no such thing. In fact, she kept making it a point to let me know that my son had gotten out of line once he'd been counted. As if it's my 4 year old's JOB to watch to teachers instead of it being THEIR job to watch him!

I want all the parents who will drop their kids off there Monday morning to know exactly who they're leaving their kids with. I want the individuals at fault dismissed immediately. I want an apology for God's sake. I'm so angry, I don't know what to do.

[admin]

Something very similar happened to me several years ago when a summer camp program did a trip to a little water park. My daughter was 6. They "counted heads" when they left and again when they got on the bus for the return. Problem was, one mom had dropped her kid off because he had missed the bus so the count was right but my daughter was on top of a water slide watching the bus leave. As in your case, they tried to make it look like the child was irresponsible. This, I believe is the issue. I told them I didn't care how many heads they counted, their responsibility to me was to make sure one of those heads belonged to my daughter. I'm sure there is probably more reprimanding going on behind the scenes than they are letting you know. I am very surprised that they didn't miss your child even when the children were down for a nap. Demanding dismissal might be too harsh, but certainly a meeting of all parties involved with a full explanation of what happened, why it won't happen again, and apologies to you and your child are in order. Something like this could have very serious consequences. I am reminded of a Texas case where the daycare left a special needs child on a van in the summer. She wasn't discovered until a parent came to pick her up. She died. What the daycare must admit is that it is NOT the child's responsibility to keep up with the group (even though this is a skill they should teach). Sounds like the McDonald's manger has it together, by the way. Most daycares also have a daycare t-shirt that the children are required to wear on field trips. I like that idea. At any rate, I know how frightened you must have been even after the fact. Looking back, don't you wish McDonald's had called you instead of the daycare. Then you could have picked up your child yourself and watched their faces when you went by at the regular time to pick him up. As it is, this is your opportunity to teach them a lesson that, hopefully, will keep some other mom from what you've been through. Try to put your anger aside and make things better. They should have written policies and procedures for these trips which should cover everything from when the children leave for the trip to making sure no child is left on the vehicle after the trip (sleeping on a seat, for instance. Gosh, the more I write about it, the more angry I'm getting for you. They put the children down for a nap and still didn't know??? To me, that's where the real problem is. Ok, I'd better stop now.

[admin]

Something very similar happened to me several years ago when a summer camp program did a trip to a little water park. My daughter was 6. They "counted heads" when they left and again when they got on the bus for the return. Problem was, one mom had dropped her kid off because he had missed the bus so the count was right but my daughter was on top of a water slide watching the bus leave. As in your case, they tried to make it look like the child was irresponsible. This, I believe is the issue. I told them I didn't care how many heads they counted, their responsibility to me was to make sure one of those heads belonged to my daughter. I'm sure there is probably more reprimanding going on behind the scenes than they are letting you know. I am very surprised that they didn't miss your child even when the children were down for a nap. Demanding dismissal might be too harsh, but certainly a meeting of all parties involved with a full explanation of what happened, why it won't happen again, and apologies to you and your child are in order. Something like this could have very serious consequences. I am reminded of a Texas case where the daycare left a special needs child on a van in the summer. She wasn't discovered until a parent came to pick her up. She died. What the daycare must admit is that it is NOT the child's responsibility to keep up with the group (even though this is a skill they should teach). Sounds like the McDonald's manger has it together, by the way. Most daycares also have a daycare t-shirt that the children are required to wear on field trips. I like that idea. At any rate, I know how frightened you must have been even after the fact. Looking back, don't you wish McDonald's had called you instead of the daycare. Then you could have picked up your child yourself and watched their faces when you went by at the regular time to pick him up. As it is, this is your opportunity to teach them a lesson that, hopefully, will keep some other mom from what you've been through. Try to put your anger aside and make things better. They should have written policies and procedures for these trips which should cover everything from when the children leave for the trip to making sure no child is left on the vehicle after the trip (sleeping on a seat, for instance. Gosh, the more I write about it, the more angry I'm getting for you. They put the children down for a nap and still didn't know??? To me, that's where the real problem is. Ok, I'd better stop now.

[Tricia]

I'm not sure what happend with that post. I think maybe I wasn't logged in when I posted it, and it didn't show up right away. Now, I'm unable to read any replies. Any idea why that is?

[Tessie258]

Boy I tell you what I would rip my kids out of that daycare and call the local news company!!! The other parents have a right to know what is going on!! It is just ridiculous that they are so blase' about it!!! Maybe this happens alot!!! Even if he was new it doesn't matter. A daycare should have a way of identifying all their children whether it be to put all neon green t-shirts on them before they leave or a brightly colored ribbon or something to show which kids are theirs!!!
You are justified in throwing the book at them!!!
T.

[Donna (Colleen's Mom)]

Thank goodness he is home safe now. I know it's hard, but try not to dwell on the "what ifs."

This is a huge mistake on the part of child care provider. Absolutely huge. I believe an investigation is appropriate, considering how they chose to handle the situation. The word "deceitful" comes to mind.

Are daycare's licensed in your state? If so, I would find out the licensing agency and file a complaint. Maybe then the facility would change their practices, such as having all children wear the same color T-shirt on field trip days. It also seems to me that they just need to plain be more careful when children's lives are at stake.
Who knows? You may prevent someone else's child from being abandoned too.

I realize others may read my post and think that I am blowing things out of proportion. While I give the daycare credit for reporting the incident to you, I still feel that your child was placed in a tremendous amount of danger.

At the very least, I would ask them how they plan to change their practices so this type of unusual occurrence doesn't happen again.

[Paula]

Hi Tricia, first of all I would see if you can get a copy of the tape just in case also maybe a written statement from the manager at McDonalds. Because if you decide to take the advice of the postings and let the public know about the incident they can lose business and they may want to take action against you. Just in case. Here in my town a daycare provider got in really big trouble cause she left a little boy outside for who knows how long after outside playtime so when the mom came to pick him up he was asleep outside on the ground in hot weather and ants crawling on him. Needless to say she lost her license. Thank goodness your son is home and safe now but like Donna said try not to dwell on the "what ifs" you'll drive yourself nuts.
---Paula

[CW1992]

Let me at 'em!!! I am sitting here so angry for you, and mostly for what they carelessly did to your son. He must have been so scared and confused. At his age these feelings might be traumatic for him for a long time. I am totally blown away by how you must feel. And then for the teacher to treat Justin like it was HIS fault?? He is a child! This might haunt him the rest of his life!

I am very impressed with McDonalds and how they took care of your son and also provided any info and a tape of the whole sad event. It sounds as though the McDonalds manager was pretty angry too. I'd probably send them a huge "thank you" for everything that they had done to help.

I don't know what to say about the coldness of the daycare after their mistake. Personally I would ask McDonalds if I could please show the tape to the daycare. I think that these 'teachers??' need to see for themselves how negligent they were and then the daycare should come up with some rules for their school to ensure to other parents that this type of thing can never happen again BECAUSE - and then school offers their list of regulations that they will now follow due to their negligence, or you will have to make it clear to all parents whose kids do go there just exactly how well their children are being taken care of - whether it be news, newspapers, - - the school should work with you on how to ensure that this will never happen again to another child. Luckily for your son there were kind strangers there to help him - his guardian angel was on the ball! Gees - I am so angry for you all!!! Sometimes "seeing" helps those at fault see their mistakes and I do think the daycare needs to watch that tape with you. I wish I could offer more help but if it helps I feel your anger with you! Christy

[francine]

I am so freaked about this that I'm not even able to read any of the other posts - so bare with me.

#1 DON'T EVER SEND YOUR CHILD BACK THERE!
#2 get a copy of that tape if you can
#3 Call the state and report them - they are licensed by the state
#4 Go down to the police station and tell them what happened. Bring a copy of the tape if you can. Ask them what steps you should take.
#5 Do you have a class list of the parents? Call each and every one of them and let them know what happened.
#6 Call the newspaper / television... their consumer complaint line. Write a Letter to the Editor in all the area newspapers.
#7 Tell everyone you know who has daycare age kids

Shocking! Just Shocking!!

This happened at Adena's first playgroup when she was 2 years old. I took her to this twice a week morning play group for 1 1/2 hours with no moms at a community place. She was there 3 times and when I walked in that last day to pick her someone from down the street walked in carrying a little boy asking if this little boy belonged in this building. The teacher lost him and didn't even realize it.... age two!! That was the last moment Adena was in that place!

anyway- ok - I guess I'm extremely passionate about our kids safety. Good luck with your fight!!

-francine

[Missy]

OMG!! I'm appauled!

GET YOUR KIDS OUT OF THAT PLACE! DON'T EVER SEND THEM BACK AGAIN!

Get a copy of the tape, have the McDonald's manager make a written statement, go to the police, go to every news station, radio station, newspater, etc. and let them know what they did!!!

That daycare needs to have their liscense yanked...all the parents who send their kids to that daycare HAVE to know what went on. This was in NO WAY your little boys fault!!! A long list of profanities is coming into my head right now when I think of the daycare director saying that it was your 4 year old's job to watch the teacher. B***S**T!

I'm TERRIBLY sorry that this happened. Thank God your son is alright. The woman who found your son in the parking lot was obviously an ANGEL!! Maybe they can look on the tape from McDonalds and try to track her down.

TAKE TOMORROW and maybe even the next day OFF...and get the ball rolling on busting the daycare's butts. I'm SO mad! I'm SO SORRY!!

Let us know what happens. Hug your kiddos REALLY TIGHT tonight!!