one armed people

[Carrie]

I was thinking the other day when part of a story popped into my head, I was thinking about what it means to have this injury and about abilities and disabilities. See, in the story The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman there are these creatures with trunks with a finger on the end "Zalif," but they are people, they think and feel. In the story a human, Mary, meets them and is protected by them:
"When she saw how they worked, not on their own but two by two, working their trunks together to tie a knot, she realized why they'd been so astonished by her hands, because of course she could tie knots on her own. At first she felt that this gave her an advantage- she needed no one else- and then she realized how it cut her off from others. Perhaps all human beings were like that. And from that time on, she used one hand to knot the fibers, sharing the task with a female Zalif who had become her particular friend, fingers and trunk moving n and out together." p 128.
I think this illustrated a lot of what I wanted to say about one handedness and the fact that it makes people more interdependent. Maybe it gives us an advantage to be able to ask for help when we need it and not get trapped in our own worlds as much, reaching out, even with one arm, is a great thing.
Carrie
Note:
[These books: the Golden Compass Trilogy are written on levels that I think 12-15 year olds would enjoy a lot, but they have a lot of great material for younger children and adults too. If anybody has kids who really like Harry Potter they'd be interested. I also like the fact that the main heroine is a girl.]

[Tessie258]

Thanks,
Jameson loves to read books like this..I will look for them.
T.

[Kathleen]

Carrie

What a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing... I really enjoyed it.
You are right on target as usual.
Kath

[jennyb]

carrie, when i first got injured and was going thru the process of being a lefty instead of a righty, and using only one arm too, i was given the job in the bank where i worked of training the newbies to operate the big reconciliation computer. After 3 months the powers that be came to check how i was doing, they found that all the newbies could reconcile the day's cheques and credits really fast and accurately, but there was just one strange thing...they were ALL doing it with just their left hands, they had all faithfully copied me! They just thought that was how it had to be done, and that's what they did. It's amazing what you can accept as the 'norm'. I'll check out those books for my 14 yr old thanks Carrie :0)

[Carrie]

I am also suggesting that one handed people are advantaged.

[Kathleen]

Carrie

Do you mean they know how to be team players....
Kath

[jennyb]

yes i can see what you mean carrie. i've never had a problem asking others for help (including strangers passing in the street) but i've never seen it as an positive advantage before, a chance for more interdependence between humans. People are always so glad to help too, so they benefit as well. thanks for that carrie!

[Stephanie]

Carrie, That's a lovely story. I'll look for it in the library when I go back to work next week! Thank you for sharing it...a great message for anybody!

-Stephanie

[francine]

Carrie - your post really helped me in my thought process of Maia going to camp. When I interviewed the director she asked me about what Maia can do and what Maia couldn't do - I was defensive about it and thought she was asking me specific questions so that she could determine whether or not Maia was "camp material" or not. Of course I told her about all the things that Maia could do to stay positive and didn't discuss too many of the things she can't do. But I started thinking of ways of how I will have to start teaching Maia now how to do specific tasks required at camp..specific dressing issues and specific dining issues. As a clothing example - Maia will wear her bathing suit underneath her clothes so she will have one less thing to fumble with... but what if she has to go potty? - won't that become a nightmare? And then I remember that when I'm a class mom at her current school, I help ALL of the kids put their coats on and zipper - no one knows how to do that yet! About dining... camp lunch has to be in a paper bag so I'm wondering what kind of food will I give her so that it's easy for her to get to her lunch so that she won't be too much a burden to anyone or to herself. How will I pack it so that she can open it, etc. For school now I pack her lunch in a Zip Lock (or Glad) cheapo divided container. It's great - it has three compartments and I prepare her sandwich and other stuff and put them in the compartments. The only thing someone has to do is help her take the cover off and there it is. But at camp, everything has to be disposable...and maia cannot remove lids from yogurt/fruit cups, etc. yet. So I'm making a list of what we have to work on together. Your post made me realize and remember that it'll be ok for someone to help her out if she can't do it and I should tell the teachers and director the same. Thanks for reminding me that camp doesn't have to be a stressful thing for her and that asking for help is OK!

-francine

[lizzyb]

Brilliant story, Carrie..

I personally have never had a prob with asking people to assist me; like jen says, it gives the person who is helping a good feeling, and I have made many new friends this way. I flew to Australia shortly after the accident that resulted in my bpi, and everyone I aked for help did it cheerfully, and one or two of the air stewards came back later for a chat. It was a bit of a steep learning curve going thru life one-handed, and all these strangers really helped me gain confidence again.

I still like to ask people to help, even tho, to be honest, sometimes I don't need it. It works a treat with my grandchildren who are all around 3 years old...if they are a bit grouchy or whatever, I always say "Nanna needs a bit of help with this please..." and it works everytime...! Keeping them well behaved while out shopping is easy using this tactic...I don't know how long it will be before they realise tho, that Nanna actually might not need help, but it is an oppurtunity to teach them all about how important it is to help others.

They are all into the "Bob the Buider" books and videos at the moment, which are all about teamwork, and getting things done together, and I will definitely look for the books you mentioned for their future reading...Thanks for that Carrie! xxx

Liz B