Has anyone had a problem with this?

[Tessie258]

I have a lot of kids and sometimes I think that some of the other kids get jealous or grumpy about the time it takes to deal with this injury. I mean I know it takes time to do therapy...go to IEP mtgs...etc...
But I also spend alot of time with the other kids too driving them here or there or doing something nice for each of them....But it seems they can still be resentful about all of this. The other day my 11 y/o wrapped his foot up in gauze and hobbled around...I felt really bad because I know he was doing it for attention. My daughter told me today, "I don't get it why he can't do somethings at school...if he really wanted to, he could...He just doesn't try hard enough."
I get frustrated because they don't understand or even try to understand. Last week we even tied my husband up and made him do everything with one hand...He lasted about 30 minutes and said yeah it's hard but I would get used to it....I told him the difference is that you can take off the binding when you get tired of the "game" But he can't!!!
How can you teach the world to be aware if your own family isn't aware???
It's pretty sad. Does anyone else have this problem?
T.

[francine]

Sounds to me like your entire family can use a few group sessions with a counselor. It might help them express their resentment and also gain a deeper understanding of what Jameson is going through.

Doesn't sound like they're being very supportive right now.

Sorry you are going through this,
francine

[admin]

sibling problems are a HUGE issue with families where one child has a special need. Don't try and make them feel guilty, it's normal and to be expected. Here is a website that may help http://www.seattlechildrens.org/sibsupp/ good luck!

[Tessie258]

Thanks....I will check it out...I'm kind of feeling like I have a whole family full of "only children"....only problem there's only one of me! Jame has been gone for 3 days on a extended field trip and the grumpies are still grumpy...just found something else to be grumpy about....I think it can be so easy to blame others for everything that makes one feel bad....I have offered the sib workshops before but they don't want to go...I took my 2 grumpiest to funtastics yesterday...I think they had fun. I guess it's going to be a process of growing on everyone's part...it's just easy to lose sight when it goes on forever!
Thanks for the ideas!
T.

[Carole]

Just a thought but how old is your daughter- mine is 10 and I feel its the age of hormones and grumpiness- kinda a I can feel the way I want age. Most of my friends kids are going through it at ages 10-11. My daughters frustration is directed at me- not her sibling although her disability is not affecting us much except for constant therapy she has no limitations. But the older ones are grumpy still. LOL.

[Tessie258]

I think teenagers are just hard....They are fun in some ways but very demanding and VERY self centered. Kind of not very much charity for others right now....I'm not giving up!!!!

[Kathleen]

As someone who survived three teenagers at the same time --- just a bit of advice....

You need your sense of humor!!!!!

they can be happy one minute and awful the next... they don't know what they want... hmmm sort of like two year olds with bigger mouths... it passes... they do get nice and sometimes sweet again....

I use to joke with my husband and say teenagers should go in the closet at 12 and not come out till they are done at 19.... sort of like some plants need the darkness to bloom..... LOL.... LOL...

Sibling... problems with obpi... is another story... I truly understand... that is a major problem for me still... 2 never got over it!!!... really... and they are much older then I and just resented all the attention I had to get... 2 involved themselves with helping my Mom care for me especially after my Dad died and we were very close...
If possible get some family therapy... it is very important for all the children involved...

Kath