UPSET WITH SISTER-INLAW

[dmom]

Guest,

I completely understand, and I am so glad you posted! This same thing happened to me.

I have a son named Daniel, and a good friend was mulling over names for her soon-to-be adopted son at a gathering of friends at my house. She said, "I think we're going to go with Daniel - Danny Boy!" She knows that is our nickname for Danny - I was just crushed, angry, etc. To take that name - and not even acknowledge to me that it might ruffle my feathers a bit - was kinda tacky. Not the end of the world, but a little tacky.

I think if someone close to you does that, it would make the offended feel much better to hear something like, "I know your son is named that, but this was a name we've really loved for a long time. I really hope you're not offended." That would have taken a lot of the sting out.

And if it helps, this happened a year ago, but I no longer care. My son's much cuter (hee, hee).

Janet

[admin]

i WROTE THE POST. I DID NOT MIND THE MIDDLE NAME THE SAME BUT THEIR FIRST NAMES RHYME. MY JACOB MICHAEL DOES HAVE A BETTER NAME BUT IT BOTHERED HIM AT ALMOST 7 AND HIS NEW COUSIN BEING BORN WITH CALEB MICHAEL. MY SISTER IN LAW SAID HER FIRST JOSHUA WOULD OF BEEN MICHAEL IF MINE WAS NOT NAMED JACOB MICHAEL, SHE APPARENTLY CHANGED HER MIND. MY HUSBAND IS UPSET BUT DOES NOT WANT CONFLICT, HE DID SAY IT WAS STUPID AND DUM AND CRAZY. FRANKLY ITS A STANDING JOKE AMOUNG OUR FRIENDS NOW. AND HONESTLY MY 2 SONS ARE WAY CUTER THEN HERS, NOT THAT THEY ARE NOT CUTE, ITS JUST SOMETIME I FEEL BAD BECAUSE HER FIRST AND MY SECOND ARE 10 DAYS APART AND MINE IS MORE ADVANCED AND EVERYONE DOTES ON HIM AND SAY HOW "ADORABLE HE IS" AND LOOK AT JOSH AND SAY "OH HE'S CUTE?" BESIDES I CHOSE FAMILY NAMES FOR MIDDLE NAMES AND I AM IRISH AND THEY BOTH ARE NOT IRISH AND IN FACT HER HUSBAND IS FAR FROM IT. I KNEW I WAS RIGHT THANX FOR THINKING THE WAY I DO. ANNIE IN MINNESOTA

[vandaroseboom]

It'll probably get easier for you as time goes on - especially because it is only the middle name

my son is Richard and there is Richard cousin on m y husbands side and my side and we all just have a good time with it and the boys think its a hoot- and these are first names. We also have multiple mary and elizabeth middle names - again it really hasn't caused any trouble and the kids think it is neat sharing a name with the cousin - and they will likely meet others in their life who also share their names

might as well make the best of it and enjoy it.--Especially with a name that already is well known and has been used for centuries.

[katep]

Guest,

It's possible that your SIL knew it would bother you and still did it. But it's also possible that she had no idea! Personally, I don't actually identify people with their names... I once worked with five different versions of "David" but I never thought of them as having the same name. There was Dave-the-other-engineer, Dave-who-used-to-make-silicone-breast-implants (funny story, that one) Dave-who-was-part-polynesian-and-pretty-darned-cute, David-the-chemistry-guy, Dave-the-big-tall-friendly-guy...

We liked the name Joshua; I'll admit I was a little worried that Joshua is a very popular name. I finally decided that I liked it anyway... that he was just going to have to distinguish himself in other ways. Hmmm... I guess we got what we asked for with that one!

Kate

[admin]

I think you are being a bit petty! But I would be a little uncomfortable also but then I would realize how silly I was being I would forget about it! Also, having blue eyes and blond hair is not the only standard of beauty. Nowadays there are all sorts of standards of beauty. All of our children are beautiful no matter what color of eyes or hair or skin! It is really sad that you covet blue eyes and blond hair and a name so much! There is way more to your child that that! In fact, that is not even important!:)