How Would You Respond

[admin]

Another point I wanted to make after reading some other responses...
Let's remember that we are speaking of a Kindergarten child. At this age a child doesn't usualy fool the teacher or parents and pretend to be sick unless they are really sick. Some may, but more do not.
I could see if a 7th or 8th grader went to the nurse for an ear ache. They could talk more about whats going on and how severe it is, btu for a child who is 5 years old I think the teacher should have no choice but to let the child see the nurse. It's not her child's health. Hannah (my 5 yr old) went to the nurse for a belly ache. She was fine. The teacher let her see the nurse. The next day she had a bad stomach bug. She was telling the truth. She even went to the nurse b/c she told her teacher she felt pain in her chest (she had a cough)...
the teacher let her go to the nurse as she should and Hannah needed a puff of her inhaler for her asthma. Just this year Hannah has been to the nurse 2 times by asking the teacher if she could go. Hannah was correct both times in asking. If the teacher said no and tough it our until she got home, there would be a big problem on my side. I believe children. I believe that children should be listened to. JMHO.

[admin]

This reminds me of when I was in kindergarten...we had a substitute teacher and after recess I felt really nauseous. I asked the teacher if I could go to the nurse, and she said no. I went back to my seat and within minutes started puking all over the place. Turns out, I had fallen at recess and gotten a concussion. I got a trip to the hospital in the principal's car and I bet that substitute listened more carefully to the kids after that!

I agree with another poster...this is kindergarten and most kids love kindergarten, they love their teacher, their friends, etc. They generally don't want to miss it, and if they do something is usually wrong. I think at this grade level a teacher should err on the side of caution. 9 times out of 10 it's going to be real, so don't hold any kid back for that 10% chance it's fake.

[JessicasMom]

Personally, I would not let it go either. I don't think it's the teacher's responsibility to make the decision about whether or not the child is sick, that's what the school nurse is for. If my kindergarten child said they were sick, I'd like to have them sent to the nurse so I could be called and decide for myself what to do.

By the way, my son is in kindergarten and I agree with a previous poster that children who are this age do not typically make up illnesses.

[admin]

Okay, from a 1st grade teacher...
I love my children and care for them as my own. I always send anyone who complains of things I can't visibly see (headache, stomache, earache, etc). If they are bumped into or someone steps on their toe, they immediately want to run to the office to get an ice pack (They love these by the way).
I do have to make judgement calls about the very, very minor things, but if they complain more than once, I will send them. I do have to say that we, as teachers, at my school are under pressure to not send kids to the office unless we think there is something really wrong. We only have a nurse a few days out of the week. This teacher, might be feeling some of the same pressure. I really don't care what the administration thinks, but I'm sure they're annoyed by me sending so many students. They say the secretaries can't run the office. The administration likes to have it both ways, they condemn you for sending too many students and then if you don't send a child who ends up having a problem they say, "Well, why didn't you send them?" I for one, will always error on the side of my students. Please talk with her and let her know that if your child complains about anything that they are to contact you, and you are to decide whether you want to come check it out for yourself or that you'll come to check your child out for the day. One final note, many parents work and truly become annoyed when they're called by the school so much about their child not feeling well. I've even had a few students who were really sick and didn't want to go to the office because their parents told them not to. Scary, I know! Good luck!

[admin]

"I've even had a few students who were really sick and didn't want to go to the office because their parents told them not to."

And this is the exact reason that children like mine catch every darn sickness or cold. When a child is sick, keep them home. I have seen students in Kindergarten go to school coughing with a runny, green boogie nose. I hate that. I will (and have) teach my kids to go to the nurse or teacher when they aren't feeling well. They know when to go and when not to go. If the school doesn't like it, oh well. The care of my child is in their hands at that time so they better do all they could whether its for a little pain or a major scrape b/c they ARE responsible. I think I really feel the issue of this b/c my daugther has asthma and I would never want a teacher or nurse to say that she is just fine, when really she needs a breathing treatment or something to help her that is necessary for her well being.

[CW1992]

Teachers do the best they can - at least the ones I've been around. I do a lot of volunteer time in all classes at school - and how the teachers handle so many 'needy' kids - I don't know. There are ones who suddenly have finger pain or stomach ache when 'journal time' comes, or feel 'dizzy' when it's time for math or have to go to the bathroom when you know that they just went and are wanting to get out of the next activity. Kids are smart and I do think that the younger they are the MORE likely they are to use excuses - the older ones are older and understand - (the younger ones try anything if they do not feel like doing what they are asked to do) - so if I were a Kindergarten teacher and a child came up complaining of an ear ache but was not feverish, flushed, seemed normal - I would have to assume that the child was alright for the time being - just like I would my own kids who sometimes complain and 10 minutes later forget the pains because they were nothing. Gees! Teachers shouldn't be expected to be parents - they try to figure out your child but they don't always know - just like parents don't always know. I have misread my OWN kids - should have listened more but thought that the sore throat was just a cough and it turned out to be strep throat - but I am a good MOM just like I am sure the teacher is a good teacher. I would not be angry with the teacher, but if I knew that my child was not one to gripe for no reason - I would surely write a very nice note to the teacher to please call me next time so that I could come in to school to see for myself and tell her that my child usually does not complain unless really hurting. Do not tick off your child's teacher - your child will be the one to suffer in the long run if you do - I would guess. Write a nice note and be understanding. After spending so much time with so many kids I can surely understand - try spending time with 20+ five year olds with different personalities day after day.... I really have a great respect for teachers and I do believe that they do the best they can.
Christy

[claudia]

I have four kids in school and have been on both sides of this issue. I have had my kids complain not be sent to the nurse, only to come home at the end of the day really sick. And, they have insisted on sending my kids home at various points even though I knew there was nothing wrong but the nurse "thought they looked bad."
I think, that unless it happens repeatedly, that you let it go. When your child is out of school for a few days the teacher will realize that your child WAS sick.
I have a friend who complained of this issue because it happened in the first weeks of school. How could the teacher know if my kid was a faker or not? How could the nurse take that chance? she asked me. Because they have an awful lot to cover in the classroom and they are making a judgement call.
And that is what it is. It is a judgement call. And this time she was wrong. There may never be a next time. Unless your child has a major ailment (asthma or sever allergies), I would not make a big deal. Sometimes we just have to keep moving. Christy is right when she says we all make these calls and sometimes we are wrong with our own kids. Remember, you said that your child was a little congested and coughing. You made a judgement call: that she really wasn't that sick, that she was well enough to go to school. If you had decided to keep her home, you would have had to respond to her initial complaints of ear pain. But you might have pushed it off too. I know I have. My kids usually get "sick" at night. When they want to get some more tv time!! A few times I wrote it off and they really were sick!
I don't beat my self up over those mistakes, and I wouldn't beat the teacher up either. If you find that overall she is a caring teacher, then chalk it up to a judgement call.

claudia

[Tanya in NY]

Here's my two cents:

I would contact the teacher in person or via phone just to talk about the situation for all it was. No accusations. Just talk about how this all panned out and how you would prefer that it pan out the next time your child has a complaint for the nurse to evaluate. This does three things...it tells the teacher that you have concerns about this situation, it tells the teacher what your wishes are, and it opens up communication between you and the teacher.

I'd call or ask for a quick conference if at all possible. It never hurts to talk.

Tanya in NY

[phaliscak]

Major illnesses like Asthma, cancer, diabetes and server allergies are all issues that are addressed way before the school year even begins. The schools want to know the how's, when's, and why's by giving the paternts forms to fill out provided by Dr.'s notes etc.. A teacher will never turn his/her back on a child with serious medical issues and certainly not the school nurse so take comfort in the fact that if your child has any of this it will be addressed every time, all the time(provided they know about it). I also do a lot of volunteer time at the schools and like Christy I understand exactly what she is saying because I have seen it and heard to. Claudia and Christy brought up great points and I feel exactly the same way. I also understand that kids are very smart, Kindergarten is no exception. Kindergarten is a very emotional time for both the parent and the child. Sometimes the parent has a more difficult time letting go and it's understandably so. Children have a difficult time being around others the same age and learning all new things as simple as sharing where they never had to before and mommy is not there to say,"oh just give it to her/him all ready..." I have seen and heard not only the teacher but the principle say to the parents two months into the school year, " say good bye at the front door. Let your child walk to the classroom on his/her own. She/he will be fine, they know exaclty were to go and what to do. Not only does the parent/child have to deal with emotion, but the teahcer has to deal with so many different behavior issues from Kindergarteners that either have had no discipline to the ones that have been overly cared for and the teacher still maintains control of the class. By the end of the very first school year most parents and the child walk away from each other like it's a part of the natural progression of life and it is. Letting go that first year is hard and it's a learning experience for both parent and child.

Patty

[admin]

Patty,
I agree with you regarding the certain illnesses that are addresses at the beginning of the school year. Hannah's teacher does know about her asthma and so does the nurse obviously. On the other hand, I think that a child (disease free or not) should be able to get to the nurse if asked to go. I don't think this is so in the later grades b/c kids make things up to miss tests or activities they want to avoid. I disagree with a previous poster that kids as young as K will lie about being sick. It's just not the case. I have spent many many days in the Pre K and K-3 classrooms as a lunch aide and an art teacher's assistant. When these kids are sick, they are sick. I never in my years have heard a child ask to go to the nurse when they arent sick.
The other thing I wanted to say is that this situation has nothing at all to do wtih letting go. We all know as parents, that yes it is a hard thing to do. Especially in those Pre K beginning days. The beginning of K was also hard for me b/c it was my first time letting go everyday for a full school day. In our school you cannot let them go at the door for safety reasons. You have to walk them into the school to the gymnasium. From the gym door they will walk to their classmates and say prayer before the school day begins. From there they all go to their rooms with the teacher. So we are able to walk them in, which I do like.
I guess what I am trying to say is that whether or not a child has asthma, diabetes or whatever it may be, they usually will not lie about being sick or feeling sick. I wouldnt want to sit at a desk with bad stomach pains or an ear ache and I am sure the teacher doesnt either. Why should a child have to? How about we let the nurse decide and not the teacher? That's the nurses job, not the teachers job.
And a very important thing is that major illnesses may not even be documented or diagnosed at the early age of 5 years old. If a child is thought to be healthy and asks to go to the nurse for something then she/he should go. What if it turned out to be a dizzy spell that was actually caused by a sugar problem that wasn't diagnosed until now? Better safe than sorry and I am sure the teachers know the individual personalities of each child so they can distinguish if it is something to be treated by the nurse or something that just needs a little talk between the teacher and child.
~Krista~