Feeling Embarrassed

This board is for adults and teens to discuss issues relating to BPI since birth (OBPI).
Stephanie
Posts: 72
Joined: Sun Nov 04, 2001 10:20 pm

Feeling Embarrassed

Post by Stephanie »

This past week I went to have some blood work done.
I always have bloood drawn from the non-OBPI arm as I'm sure most of you do. Since this is my right arm, I always tell the technician about the bpi and why I need the blood taken from the "good"arm, etc.
Since it's winter, I had on a long sleeve garment with the sleeves rolled up an inch or two from my wrists (to even the sleeves out I roll the left OBPI
side up an extra time).
Anyhow, when he was finished taking my blood. I realized that I couldn't get the sleeve on my "good" arm back down with the OBPI hand so I had to ask this guy to help me. Then the sleeve unrolled, and I had to ask him if he minded roling it back up. I had that terrible feeling of helplessness and embarrassment...even though this guy was very caring and even enthusiastic about doing these chores for me.
It's just that sometimes, even after 51 years of living with this, a situation like this will occur and STILL be able to trouble me for much longer than it should (?)

-Stephanie
Janny-scotland
Posts: 17
Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2001 5:52 pm

Re: Feeling Embarrassed

Post by Janny-scotland »

your story reminds me of the time when i was in my splint having just had my op. .... determined not to let the splint disrupt my life, i went to the bingo with some friends.well, half time came and i was desperate to go to the toilet..when i got there though, i realised that i couldnt open the button on my jeans with one hand and had to ask some poor unsuspecting soul to open them for me so i could do my buisness!! same story when i came out of the toilet, this poor woman was down on her knees trying to close the button back up!!! when i was at home it was easy... i just lay on the floor and could fasten one handed no problem....could just imagine me being sectioned if id tried that in the middle of an evening session of bingo LOL
it took a bit of time to master but now i fasten all my buttons one handed with no problems

take care
janny
Joy in FL
Posts: 357
Joined: Sun Nov 04, 2001 8:36 pm
Location: Georgia

Re: Feeling Embarrassed

Post by Joy in FL »

Shortly after my accident the doctor put me in a shoulder harness to offer support. It felt fine when he put it on and I left his office and went home. About 45 minutes into wearing this torture divise I thought I was going to die!! It had my shoulder at an angel that was unbearable. I was home alone, the velcro straps to free me were on the back, I could not reach them to save my life. I went to pick my son up at a birthday party and grabbed one of the mothers. I did not know her that well but was at the point I did not care. Here we were in the middle of a pizza joint, she had her hands under my sweater trying to get this damn thing off me!! It was very embarrassing to have to ask for that kind of help. Especially from someone you don't really know. We laughed about it but I have to admit my face was still red.

That is the nice thing about this board...we do understand each others embarrassing/frustrating/painful moments!!

Joy
Joy in FL is now living in Georgia!
Left TBI on October 31, 1991
CW1992
Posts: 860
Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2001 12:41 pm

Re: Feeling Embarrassed

Post by CW1992 »

Steff, I'm sorry that you felt embarrassed and that the emotions still hurt over the years. I don't have any similar experiences to share but I can try and imagine the feelings you must have when something like that happens - and I can understand why it must be hard to realize that you need some help. You are such a strong and independant person and you found yourself in such an awkward situation. I bet you made the technicians day though because he got to help out an attractive woman!:) I'm so glad that you have a safe place here to talk to others who understand and that you do not have to keep these feelings to yourself. Thanks for sharing what's on your mind.
Christy
Kathleen
Posts: 1012
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2001 5:33 pm

Re: Feeling Embarrassed

Post by Kathleen »

Dear Steff

It is seems so odd when we least expect it! We get smacked between the eyes with reality...

It seems we go along pretending nothing is wrong and out of now where a simple thing like a blood test can remind us...

Now you reminded me I have a script for Blood Work and have been putting it off.

My "healthy arm" has been so painful and numb and stinging I have been putting it off until after the Neurologist... another appointment I have failed to make...
I hate getting blood drawn. I would rather go to the dentist and have root canal!!!!!!!
My arm is so full of scar tissue that they can never find a vein because even on the "good" arm (not that I have one anymore) ---- my veins are so small.....

But I will remember to wear a short sleeve shirt..
Thanks for the reminder... Sorry you felt bad...
I really do know how you feel...
Kath
tiff
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Mar 06, 2002 9:07 pm

Re: Feeling Embarrassed

Post by tiff »

sorry you were embarrased

i don't like it when i wear sweaters and my left OBPI arm disappears and the right sleeve fits perfect. i am terrified of needles.
i am 18 and when i recently had to get some shots i about died when they had to stick one in my OBPI arm. I try to explain why i don't like it but they have never heard i before and just don't understand.
tiff
Carolyn
Posts: 22
Joined: Sun Mar 10, 2002 10:36 pm

Re: Feeling Embarrassed

Post by Carolyn »

I know how you feel.

A few times in my life I've been unable to use my good arm, like when I broke a finger in high school. I have never felt helpless even with my OBPI, but this was something else. At least I was a kid and had my mom to help me.

I'm 29 now, single, and just last month I had some minor surgery to remove a bump (pre-cancerous) from above my elbow on my good arm, and the nurse bandaged me up so tightly in order to prevent me from moving my elbow and breaking them stitches. I started yelling at her, the more frustrated I got, explaining to her that without being able to move my elbow I couldn't feed myself! She fixed the bandage, but I spent the last 2 weeks having my mom and a few good friends take turns coming over to my house to wrap my arm in plastic bags so I could take a shower without getting the stitches wet. I felt so helpless!

Then again, I learn how to do new things all the time that I used to think I was helpless at. For example, at age 20 I figured out a way to braid my own hair! And now I've deivsed a way to apply the Vitamin E to my new scar. :)
Kathleen
Posts: 1012
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2001 5:33 pm

Re: Carolyn welcome

Post by Kathleen »

Welcome

I know just how you felt when you saw that show.
I found this board two years ago when searching for information because my "unaffected" arm was wearing out.

I never met anyone with this injury until a little over a year ago when I went to Fla. and met 2 other adult obpi. But sadly I met hundreds of children over the past 2 years. I was so shocked. I always knew it was malpractice but I did not know that it was so common. I was always told it was rare and all of the health care professionals I met never really knew what it was.... so I assumed that it was rare....

I know better now... by the way I am 62 married 3 kids and 4 grandchildren... It took until my 60th birthday for me to find information on this injury.

I am so happy that you came to the message board I saw your post on the abc message board. In the past two years I counted approximately 18 adult/obpi found this message board... some still post some don't and some just lurk... but there are lots of us... to compare notes with....

You would be surprised at how many things we have in commone even though each injury and the degree of injury is different... If you have any questions please ask, nothing is silly or unimportant, someone will have the answer....

Oh the joke about the cannoe.... Judy and I are both right obpi and wanted to go in a boat... but we can only go in circles.... LOL...

Hope you have a sense of humor on this subject... cuz lots of us do....
Kath


admin
Site Admin
Posts: 19873
Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 9:59 pm

Re: Feeling Embarrassed

Post by admin »

I'M embarassed everyday of my life. I wonder are people staring at me because of my arm? I don't like going places, doing things with my friends. I feel people will laugh at me. I'm 20 years old. I stay at home all the time. I hate brachial plexus injury!! Why me? The summer is fastly approaching, and while all of my friends will be at the beaches, i'll be at home depressed. I just have one question is there a doctor i can go to for anything at this age??
admin
Site Admin
Posts: 19873
Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 9:59 pm

Re: Carolyn welcome

Post by admin »

Hi Carolyn and welcome!
I'm the person who posted the first message. I'm 51 and I have left OBPI.
I'm very impressed with the fact that you've figured out a way to braid your own hair. I remember trying to do that when I was younger. Never made it...good thing my mother and sister were beauticians!! And thank goodness I have two sons and never had to worry about doing their hair!
I believe most of us do eventually find ways of doing things for ourselves...but as far as the good arm being taken care of by the OBPI arm...no way for me!
I cannot wash that arm with the left one, roll up it's sleeve...buckle its bracelet, strap it's watch, or put rings on it's fingers. That has been the biggest frustration for me.
Kath speaks of the many things we all have in common...the one that just happened to me most recently was this. I'm frantically searching for my car keys in the mall parking lot this week-end...my mind is racing...I'm retracing my steps in my head, ready to turn back in to the mall entrance, when I look down and notice my keys hanging from my OBPI hand!! Everyone on this board has done this..."lost" something in the OBPI hand. If it weren't so frustrating...it would be comical...come to think of it, it is comical!

Well, take care and let us know if you've also had this experience! :o)

-Stephanie
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