the worst day

[admin]

Today is first day i asked myself "do i get money if we win our case?" Isn't that horrible. I don't know where it came from. Well I geuss i know today was the worse day for therapy.Jade has Auga therapy on thursdays. I have to take CHris to work at 7:00 WHich means waking up 2 kids. then kill 2 hours around town becouse going back home would be stupid.I would just have to leave 45 min later. we got to Easter seals and i was informed that her pt was late but coming. after waiting a 1 hour and 30 min we left. but not until both kids where so tired thaey through a fit.then i asked myself. do get money for the time i take jade to these things.I know jade gets money but do I, I know its shelfish but do I. do i get money for haveing sell our van to have Jades first surgery. I know that dr. is loveing his BMW suv, that i helped him pay for. I wish this whole thing just didn't happen. I feel so alone now. today just hasn't been good!

[Joy in FL]

Crystal, I am so sorry that you are having such a terrible day. I always hate when they come around. Don't feel badly about asking if you get any money. As a housewife I ask myself that more often than I admit! As mother's and wives we run ourselves ragged and at times nobody seems to notice just how hard we work. Especially those with children that need special care.

I am TBPI. I watched my mother go and go and go trying to help me. Taking me to and from therapy and doctors, not to mention the every day things I could not do, such as the grocery store. I felt so guilty because I could not help her and because I was the one causing all her extra work.

I realize Jade is young but eventually she will know everything you gave up for her. She will be grateful for all that you did to help her. I guess as parents that is where our "money" comes from. Knowing even through the really, really hard times we did our very best for these little creatures.

One thing that might help a little... did you know you can deduct all your miles to and from doctor and therapy appointments on your income tax? We found out several years after the fact that my parents could have deducted their mileage. So, don't over look things like that when you file this year. I would check with an accountant or H & R Block, someplace like that to find out exactly how you do claim your miles.

Hope things get better for you.

Joy

[admin]

Crystal... a Big HUG to you. Don't ever feel guilty for feeling these very normal thoughts. I think we've all been there. And we know it's not really about the money, but the justice. Hang in there and we are here for you.

Julie Wolfgram

[browning93]

I'm sorry it has been such a rough day. Don't think of yourself as such a terrible person because you want to be compensated for all your hard work. If you have a suit going you are allowed money for pain, suffering, lost income from having to stay home in those preschool years to cart them to doctors and therapys, etc.Talk to your attorney about it. It doesn't make you a terrible person. Also, if you receive money for your child and it's in a guardianship type account, the guardianship attorneys will reimburse you for mileage and time from those accounts, you just have to be willing to be a good record keeper. You can charge a fee for the time you spend making phone calls to doctors, lawyers,therapists,etc. I personally couldn't keep up with it all and just aked to get reimbursed for the small things like copays. This injury takes over our lives so much already,and even if you win a reward, it's more work. Iknow I've been there too. you think it'll get better but when?
I don't ever think compensation can take away the anger of this happening in our lives, Just take it one day at a time, ask yourself,"What am I supposed to learn from this situation?", everyday and do the best of your ability. That's all anyone can ask. Take care hope your chin will be up tommorrow! LeeAnne

[francine]

Crystal - I hear you loud and clear! and feel the same way you do. IT'S NOT EASY!

Can you get a hot bath for yourself tonight - maybe light a candle - sip a bit of wine and just relax? Sounds like you deserve a break!!

big hugs,
francine

[karen r]

Sometimes it sure feels like the weight of the world is on our shoulders, doesn't it?

Yes, you can ask for money for yourself in the negotiations once the lawsuit is settled or decided. You can claim all of your expenses (including mileage) plus, "pain and suffering." Money that you gain through "pain and suffering" isn't taxable like income or expenses so it makes more sense to claim money here. This is all a business transaction, Crystal. You have a family to take care of, yourself included. Always be sure to factor in expenses incurred along the way until your child reaches adulthood and has access to the money. You're not asking for a bmw suv (is there such a thing?!) and trips to Tahiti...you're trying to maintain a level of comfort and sanity for your family. Be good to yourself; you're a good mom.

[admin]

hey crystal,
i hope that your day is getting better, we all have them it is such an angry thing when you know that someone has hurt your child and every day you are paying the price for it.

[m&mmom]

Pain and suffering from what I understand varies state to state. In some states parents are only entitled to out of pocket expenses.

[Cara]

I have a great deal of empathy for you. Do not feel bad, I am sure many of use have thought that. I know with the time I have taken off work and some of the responsiblities that I had to give up it is very real for me to put a $ amount with it. Remeber you are not alone and that our prayers are with you even on those bad days.