daily struggle

[admin]

My 1st baby was over 9 pounds, she was severly injured, she is now 7.She is amazing and brilliant, her eyes are much older than they appear. 7 years ago I had no idea what her life would hold,the therapists would say well she will need treatment until she is 3 then 5 now who knows. It tears my heart when she asks me why her arm is crooked, She is developing a dislike for school because it is hard for her,I used to write on here often, but families grow and the years pass... We are still battling the legal system i cannot believe it has been 6 years. Since sophie's birth, i became a labor and delivery nurse. I love my work probably because it is my passion, to keep babies safe and intact,But it makes it worse that i now realize just how wrong my ob was and just how lucky i am that my precios angel did survive, some babies don't.....
We are trying botox now for the elbow contracture, then she will be casted, She is stronger than she knows, She is stronger than her mama, The really sad thing is that I truly hate the doctor, i want that to pass, and get some closure, for her it was a bad decision for me it was a devastating event that will haunt my precios child forever....thanks for listening
emma

[CW1992]

Hi Emma,
Your post really touched me. I understand your feelings. Sometimes the reality of how your child was injured... it was so preventable... and now the child that you love more than you can even put into words will have pain in their life that could have been stopped... For me, I deal by knowing that there must be a reason for what happened. I block out the hate because my child is dealing so well, but if she weren't I think it would be harder. My child is an inspiration to so many of her friends, and I'm sure your child is too. My child too is so much stronger than I am, but she doesn't even realize that. She works twice as hard sometimes as her friends to accomplish the same task, but she doesn't seem to notice. She had a soccer tournament this weekend and she was on the starting line-up - a challenge in itself to make the starting spot - it's rough out there. She tripped twice in the first half of game 3 with no kids around her and then also got slide tackled 3 times so she was down alot this weekend - 7 total wipeouts in the games. I mentioned to her about tripping over the sideline and her balance being alittle off and she said, "Mom, I can't tell the difference in my balance because this is how I know myself" and she is right. Sometimes it gets hard to watch from the outside but as a parent I need to rememeber that she is fine because she is who she is, the only way she knows herself, and she doesn't know that things could have been easier.. she is happy. My daughter is 12 and is amazing, just like I know your daughter is too. Sometimes I think that as a parent you feel more than your child does, but they are who they are and they just need us to appreciate what makes them so great. I am just so thankful that she is alive - we could have lost her - and I can't imagine life without her. I truely feel that as my child has gotten older it has become so much easier because she jokes about her injury and we all laugh because we know she is OK with it.
I hope this has helped somehow and thank you for sharing your feelings,
Christy

[Tanya in NY]

Hello Emma. My name is Tanya, and I am the mother to Casey (9 years-shoulder dystocia but no injury) and Amber (22 months with ROBPI). I too am a labor and delivery nurse. I understand your passion for trying to prevent these injuries, as this has become a passion of mine as well.

I am always amazed at how little information and correct at that is out there. I recently conducted a BPI inservice for the staff I work with and there were so many questions that they asked! At my place of work, the ob's, midwives, pediatricians, and nurses all work together as a very fluid team (very unusual). Even the peds doctors were interested in my inservice. One of the peds docs even asked if I would write a protocol for our unit (we do mother-baby care all in one unit) as we didn't have a BPI protocol, so that's what I did.

I find it very frustrating some days, but other days are better. We are now in the course of deciding on the anterior capsule release surgery for my daughter. All this because the midwife and ob who delivered her (I didn't deliver at the hospital I currently work at---I changed jobs after I delivered Amber) were careless and panicked without trying alternative manuevers to relieve her shoulder dystocia! UGH!!! Now my daughter has a permanent birth injury! You all know what I'm talking about and now I'm rambling.

I just wanted to say, Emma, that as a mother of a BPI daughter and as a RN in L&D, I feel I can say I know where you are coming from.

Good luck to you and your daughter.

Tanya in NY

[Mattsmom]

Hi-I am new to this message board and have spent the last few hours scanning the different topics. I found your post interesting because I am currently in nursing school and we have to think of a topic to educate other nurses on. You said you did an inservice on BPI and it sounds like it went well. As a mother of a 4 year old with a ROBPI, I feel I know the topic well. Did you do research on if the hospital had any BPI incidents before your inservice? Any other hints for a successful presentation would be greatly appreciated. I've been debating which direction to go in once I graduate, and your post has me thinking about OB. Thanks again!

[Tanya in NY]

Congratulations on making the plunge into nursing. It's a rewarding field. I did not do any research before my inservice about the hospital's BPI rate for a couple reasons. One, I was on a time table for doing the inservice, and two, I don't have access to the hospital's records of delivery where I delivered my daughter. I now work at a different hospital since her delivery. I found tons of information online for the inservice, along with I used information I obtained from a recent symposium that I attended over the summer. I included pictures of my daughter in the presentation in order to show the waiter's tip and more long-term difficulties that are displayed by BPI children. I also included information about prevention and how to treat the injury after the fact as a nurse. Feel free to ask specifics to my email address if you'd like. I'd be happy to share.

Tanya in NY

[Ginne]

I wonder how many other mothers (and maybe fathers too) have decided to go into nursing/medicine because of this injury to their child. When Missy was in the hospital for her nerve transfer, I made use of the patients computer room in the hospital. I looked at some of the schools in my area that offered an RN/RNA course and what the enrollment requirements are (Pretty brave step for me as I am PETRIFIED of needles and realize exactly who has to give them!)

I finally decided that anything like this would have to wait. I needed to concentrate on Missy and the rest of my family. I am only 5 years out of school for Computer Programming and the study time and commuting for nursing would have been horrendus.

To those mothers that went thru for Nursing,especially L&D, I can only say Congratulations!!!!!! I think you are brave and smart and great to help share your experience and hopefully help prevent more injuries like this.

Ginne

[admin]

I just want to say that the anger you carry will hurt you more than the doctor who delivered her.

I applaud your dedication to helping others but you still need to help yourself. Your daughter is doing her part. Now you do yours.

I send you a piece of my heart because I know how painful it is to watch your child suffer. Many hugs and a thank you from all the children you help everyday but stop punishing yourself. Give the job of punishing the doctor to a really good lawyer who can carry that burden for you and try to enjoy life.

We went to the best lawyer we knew and was told there was nothing we could do. We learned to move on but trust is not automatic.

[rbbp]

I to really like your post I know how hard it is.
My name is salia my daughter has a rbpi.
She is 4 months.
my heart is broke when ihad her she was looking at me like mommy im hurt.
I know to be a parent is really hard and alot harder when your child is hurt.
All we can do is keep praying.