trouble w/son..........again

[Paulo]

I dont.
I can just with help of an orto, that have a elbow locker. It can be made by any protese shop (a shop that made proteses for amputies), in carbon or plastic, and after several trys.

[Susana]

I have never seen one of those things. Do you have a picture of it? I think that is pretty helpful for many of us.

Thanks,

Susana

[Susana]

Paulo, I clicked next and saw the pictures. This is great. I will take this to my Dr. I am so excited.

[admin]

my 18 year old son always puts his hand in his pocket, it makes him look normal (his words) whatever normal is. Is this condition that your son has with his finger nails common i wonder, please dont say this is another set back to bpi we have to look out for. just when you start to get used to one thing another condition pops up. what more are we expected to take on board. I never knew bpi existed until 10 months ago. Life was normal for us back in those days. I wish your son well and of course your family because it effects the family as a whole.

[lindar]

Thanks for your concern, Rich, and everyone else. We live in Illinois. Where is the bpi picnic? I don't know if I could get him to go or not. It's like he thinks if we don't discuss it - it doesn't exist. His dad is able to talk to him a little better than me. Daniel has told him that his fingernails have been gone for a long time and they're no better or worse than since the accident. Maybe once the fingernails are gone they don't grow back. He is so sullen and angry at me all the time. I try to have a normal conversation with him and we either end up yelling at each other or I start crying and then he really gets mad! Everyone here has been a big help to me and I really appreciate it.

[Gianni]

Hi,

My name is Maureen, mom to Gianni. He is 20 years old and almost 2 years post accident. My son sounds similar. He does not like to discuss the injury. I have tried to get him to read these boards, but he refuses.

[rachelcasa]

I agree with everyone else that maybe he is intentionally hurting himself, however, in the other sites there has been mention of people who do bite their nails. I am one of them. I have tried to stop it a million times and I hate it, I'm always hiding my hands due to the fact that I'm a nail biter. Mine look like heck! I would have him talk to someone. Especially someone else who has this injury. It really truly does help a persons mind and soul. Good luck to you.

[rachelcasa]

Ask him if he's ever had a lefty obstetrical bpi kick his butt!! I hope he will soon get an open mind and start reading these posts. It would do him wonders!!

[lizzyb]

Don't know if this helps or not, but when I was first injured, there is NO WAY I would have wanted to know, speak to, or have any contact in any way shape or form with ANYONE who had this injury.

I had plenty of opportunities to interact with people with a TBPI as I went to many motorbike rallies where there were occasionally one or two people with a TBPI around, but I just ignored their injuries, and certainly didn't let on that I too had a TBPI.

I still don't really know to this day why I did that, but it felt right at the time and I've no regrets. I know now that it was a kind of mourning, and going through stages of shock, horror and numbness manifesting in part as denial. I also think that the vast majority of people with a traumatic injury such as this go through this stage, and it is perfectly normal and to be expected.

At this time, my family got the worst from me, and woe betide anyone who actually had the nerve to ask me to talk about my injuries...thankfully, they know me too well and wouldn't dream of pushing me to talk. Even so, I still felt kind of trapped, and as soon as I was fit enough to travel, I got on a plane and escaped to Australia for 3 months.

It was only then, after my Aussie trip that I slowly began to wonder about other people....

This happened to me when I was 41 years old, with 2 grown up kids, a lifetime of working in a very 'people' industry and would like to think I was (and still am!)a very gregarious person with bags of confidence, but it sure as h*ll knocked the wind out of my sails.

I can only imagine what hell it must be to go through life with this injury while you are still in your teens, just learning to be a confident adult, when life can be pretty traumatic and hard to deal with anyway. Most teenagers I know don't have the maturity to deal with many 'normal' issues and problems, let alone a life changing one like a TBPI. I know how much you love, care about and worry constantly about your sons, but really, you have to leave the subject of the injury behind and let them come to terms with it in their own time...I did, they will too as almost everybody does. It might take a couple of years or more, but it will happen. There will be lots of anger and other negative stuff, but for the most part, this is normal.

I hope I haven't upset anyone with this post; just trying to put across a point of view from someone who has been thru all this. Take care everybody.

Lizzy B

[Gianni]

Thank you Liz. I must say, if it were not for people like you on these boards, I don't know how I would cope with my son's pain. I feel like I have so many friends here and so many mother's like myself who turn to you all for courage and strength. God Bless You!