Need advice on bathroom issues

[Savannahsmom]

Hi! I hope you all don't think I'm crazy for posting this here, but I know you all have lived with this your whole life so may know how to do things differntly. I am having a realy hard time potty training my 3 yr. old that is ROBPI. She is so independant and won't let me help her. She is having such a hard time getting her pants up and down and I am wondering if there is any way I can help her. She starts in the back with her unaffected arm and pulls then the front and does this for a long time until she can get them down. However, this is really frustrating to her because she never can quite "make it" in time. She will go to preschool next fall and I am just trying to help her. She is very sensative and gets her feelings hurt so easily. I don't want her embarrassed or ashamed. Thanks in advance for any advice! Heather in TN

[Angela Butterfly]

Dear mom,

Since you have not received any replies yet, I might suggest that you post this question on the General Message Board. More mom's of obpi there.

My 3rd daughter of 3 was born severe LOBPI. She is now 20, so it is harder for me to give you help on this issue. However, I will try.

When Jill was born her sisters were 3 1/2 years, 17 months, and Jill newborn. All girls, I just passed their clothes down. I am guessing by the time she wore them, they were stretched out with old elastic. So try getting her slacks, shorts or panties a little larger. My daughters are now 23,21 & 20.

The truth is, Jill saw her sisters going to the bathroom, and I didn't even have to potty train her, she did it herself, before she was 2. Thank god for small miracles. (since when she was born I had 2 in diapers, and back then they were actually cloth diapers).

It is also harder for me to remember her toileting because when my daughters were 2,3 & 5, their father quite his job and I had to run like crazy to use by business skills to open a Commercial, Union, Sub-Conbtracting firm. It was the only way I could keep us in insurance to meet our needs (he was a union bricklayer). I did eventually get away from him in 1995 when Jill was in 6th grade. (decided she was about as good as she could get).

When Jill was born weighing 10# 8 oz in 1984, her entire shoulder, arm & hand was completely limp with no feeling. So at the time she was taking herself to the bathroom at age 2, she did not have very good use of her arm, or hand yet. Also, does your little girl like to wear dresses? Then all she would have to deal with are her undies.

If you haven't done so already please scroll down on the General message board and read my post "What it is Like Growing Up with a Disability in the Family". It is two or 3 pages back.

Good luck, I struggled so all those years ago. There was very little info out there, and I never new anyone with Jill's injury until I found this websight last summer. Angela

[njbirk]

Sorry not to respond sooner to this. I've been away on vacation. Just now catching up.

I honestly can't remember having trouble as a youngster, so that means, not that I didn't have trouble adapting, but that it wasn't a big deal. She will get better at it, we all manage with one hand basically.

I never did manage, however, to put on panty hose and am so grateful that one can go through life as a woman now without having to wear dresses even in formal settings.

Putting on pants can be tough too. I always got a laugh out of the equalizing expression, 'we all put on our pants one leg at a time' because I wanted to add, 'try putting them on with one arm'!

Nancy

[Kath]

Nancy

Thanks for the LOL.... that is funny.

I also don't remember a problem...

Ahhh but I had to wear stocking and pantyhose for work and boy did that put me into a sweat... and sometimes a real temper tantrum.... jumping up and down because I would tear them before they were on...

Glad I no longer work and can wear pants everywhere... so much better.
Kath

[Savannahsmom]

Thanks ladies for the replies! And OH my word, I never thought of panyhose. We will cross that bridge when we get there. I also have 3 under age 5 so she does deal with hand me downs. Maybe I just need to go bigger. I know she will get it. She just gets so mad! But that strong will is what will help her in life in dealing with this I know. Thanks so much! Heather in TN

[Judy-T]

O.k.
I still have trouble getting undressed. I was in orlando at dicovery cove with my daughter on friday. She was swimming with the dolphins while I was watching. I got very hot in the sun so I decided to take my wet suit off. I am standing there with my bpi arm out of the suit and wiggling to get my good arm out. I must have been a sight. a worker came up and asked if I was o.k. . I asked him to help me get my suit off.He did. LOL

[Carolyn J]

Hey Nancy and Kathleen, how about in the 1950's we had to where girdles withgarters, No pantyhouse and no pants allowed! I was a contortionest getting those back garters fastened! Sheer determination and pretending I didn't need help! I still don't know how I did it! Being a social worker we always carried a notebook and pen in my hand. By the way I never had pantyhose until 1967 on my wedding day was the 1st time I had a pair(one pr)!LOL Pantyhose was/is just as hard. I don't wear either now & rarely wear a dress/skirt.

I always got my underpants 1 size larger & that takes care of accidents.
Carolyn J