For Those Who Chose No Surgery...

Forum for parents of injured who are seeking information from other parents or people living with the injury. All welcome
TNT1999
Posts: 1064
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2001 5:54 pm

For Those Who Chose No Surgery...

Post by TNT1999 »

...or for those who have had surgery for that matter, I have a personal question. I'm scheduled to have a baby in two weeks. We don't know if it's a boy or a girl, as we didn't know the first time. We're trying to come to a family decision regarding circumcision. I've prayed, done some research, have feelings more toward one way than the other, but haven't decided yet. I was interested in how this community felt b/c I think that if we never had a child who had gone through multiple surgeries (or even one for that matter), I'd prob. be quicker to say okay to have it done. However, after seeing Nicole go through trauma (at her birth and again with surgeries), it's so hard to imagine letting a dr. put another baby of mine through that willingly and w/o the pain relief meds that Nicole at least had and mainly for cosmetic reasons (for us, it's not a religious issue although I realize that it is for some people). Anyway, I just think that for families who have children with severe injuries who have had to make surgical decisions, it just makes one think more about this kind of decision. Also, I was curious if those who had chosen to forego BP surgery would also forego a circumcision.

I don't know if this topic is inappropriate to post this here and hopefully I don't cause any problems from this post. Also, I certainly understand if people prefer to e-mail their replies. Thanks!

Who knows, maybe I'll have another girl and none of this will be an issue anyway! Just trying to be prepared.

-Tina, bpmom@comcast.net
Tammie
Posts: 224
Joined: Tue Feb 04, 2003 2:18 pm

Re: For Those Who Chose No Surgery...

Post by Tammie »

my bp son had a circ (and surgery)...i'd do it again, too
phaliscak
Posts: 313
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2002 2:56 pm

Re: For Those Who Chose No Surgery...

Post by phaliscak »

Michael was circumcised and I am glad we did it. It's hard enough getting a 7 yr old to use soap when they bathe. I can't imagine trying to make sure his penis was cleaned correctly. I also want to add that my dad was circumcised when he was 30 yrs old. He said it wasn't fun and that he wished he had it done when he was a child.

Patty
Clint
Posts: 64
Joined: Tue Jan 07, 2003 2:19 pm

Re: For Those Who Chose No Surgery...

Post by Clint »

Let me just say from a (this) guy's perspective, I would have it done. The boy's locker room can be a difficult place, especially for someone that is different. And as Patty said, boys and soap don't always mix! I have absolutely no recolecction of the event, so I don't suspect it was very traumatizing.

Good Luck.
Karen Hillyer
Posts: 562
Joined: Fri Sep 06, 2002 1:36 pm

Re: For Those Who Chose No Surgery...

Post by Karen Hillyer »

Gavin hasn't been circumcised, over here in the Uk it is only done for religious or medical reasons.
Routine circumcision has not been carried out over here for about 25 years.
We did consider having Gavin circumcised at one point when he was about three years old and experiencing some difficulties in urinating, we took him to our General Practitioner who referred us to a specialist and when we went to see him, he felt that the problem would correct itself without the need for surgery ( which it did) so we never bothered.
I think I would go ahead if there was a medical issue, but not just for the sake of hygiene.
Not sure if that helps or not really!
Karen
Allison
Posts: 453
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2002 12:35 pm

Re: For Those Who Chose No Surgery...

Post by Allison »

I have to agree with Clint. Our kids are going to be dealing with enough stress in their lives. I imagine the boys locker room would not be a good place to be ridiculed. We had Bradley circumsized. It's very common in the US. I imagine specifically for hygene reasons. Infections etc..
Bradley was fine. I asked the nurse, "when is he going to be circumsized?" She advised me to change his diaper, sure enough, it was already done. No problems. There were no stitches. I guess the skin is so thin, no need? It's ultimately the parents choice. Keep in mind, locker room changing starts usually in middle school. Kids can be rough at that age.
admin
Site Admin
Posts: 19873
Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 9:59 pm

Re: For Those Who Chose No Surgery...

Post by admin »

I wished I would have done it when my son was a baby. He is now 2 and I have asked a few times when I saw a doctor related to brachial plexsy but they told me to wait until he could decide or it wasn't necessary, etc., etc. But, I don't know if I agree with that as then, it would be much harder on him. I didn't do it when he was born because the whole BP thing happened and it had my attention so I didn't even think of the circumcision but I sure wish I had. I think it's much cleaner as well. He did have primary surgery and will have an operation again soon and I'd still like to get him circumcised.
Why don't you pray and see how you feel then? I always do that when I don't know what to do as I feel that at least God can see ahead when I can't & if He leads me, then it must be the right direction. That gives me faith and confidence that I'm right.
I'm sure you'll make the best decision.
Sincerely, Renee
admin
Site Admin
Posts: 19873
Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 9:59 pm

Re: For Those Who Chose No Surgery...

Post by admin »

Tina, please look at this sitehttp://www.noharmm.org/svoboda.htm
In my opinion this is a decision the child should make for himself when he is old enough. In countries where circumcision has largely died out (Canada, many European counties, the UK) the majority of uncircumcised men do not decide to get it done when given the choice as adults, except for medical reasons, that should tell you enough. Contrary to popular belief, it is now believed that the process is harder on babies than on adults. If adults don't like it, why should babies have to deal with it simply for cultural reasons?
Circumcision of girls is banned in most civilised counties, despite the same arguments being made by its adherents about 'cleanliness', noone in their right mind would mutilate a baby girl in this way, so why do it to a baby boy.
Just my 2 cents, please don't take offense, I truly believe that in another generation this practise will have died out in the US as it already has elsewhere and people will wonder how on earth we ever considered it.
Primrose
Posts: 64
Joined: Thu Dec 27, 2001 4:21 pm

Re: For Those Who Chose No Surgery...

Post by Primrose »

Ds has had no BPI related surgeries, and is intact. However the decisions are not related. We made the decision not to remove our children's foreskins before we even became pregant. Not my penis, therefore not my decision. Also we are Christian, so we do not have any religious reasons to have it done. My DH has spent his entire life with a foreskin with no negative pscycological or physical reprecutions. To be honest It's not an issue I can respond to in a unbiased manner. I personally feel like it should be outlawed, as female circumcision already is in the US. However it is legal and at the moment a parents choice. You will do what you feel is in the best interest of your son. Just do your best to make an informed decision. For instance the circumcision rates in the US are aprox 60% now, with the midwest leading. So the old locker room issue, will actually not likely be much of an issue as intact boys won't be a rarity. Also with the issue becoming more talked about and more intact boys being around the generation coming up will no doubt think nothing of it one way or the other. Even so am adolesent boys is not likely to comment on anothers penis staus out of fear of being labled gay. Much worse fate than having a foreskin in middle school.
Primrose
Posts: 64
Joined: Thu Dec 27, 2001 4:21 pm

Re: For Those Who Chose No Surgery...

Post by Primrose »

Oh and another thought, the care of an intact penis is actually easier than the care of an open wound caused by the cutting off of the foreskin. You do nothing, do not retract or in anyway manipulate a child's foreskin. It is adheared to the glans at birth for the specific purpose of keeping out dirt and grime. One of the foreskin's main functions is to maintain penile hygene. Removal or retraction of this important barrier opens up the child to all sorts of infection.
Locked