Whenever I get angry or too far down about the doctor who did this I try to imagine for a second, "what if he saved my life?" and it doesn't work all the time, but it does most, and I can't blame this injury for all my problems, most of them are my fault.
Carrie
What about the Injured Child?
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browning93
- Posts: 230
- Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2002 9:34 pm
Re: What about the Injured Child?
Yes, in most cases thats true but in ours there was no excuse. When your specialists does a sonogram and the baby's neck is in the cervix not it's head adn tells the ob to do the c- section then I know this whole thing could have been avoided. That's where my anger comes from I guess. I feel guilty sometimes because if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have felt like I had to trust the doctor and I would have fought the induction.I knew what the specialists said but felt I had to do what my doctor told me to do. Naivety on my part I guess.
Re: What about the Injured Child?
Frashley, Thank You very much. I for one apperciate a bit of positivity in the midst of this well of negativity. You keep on posting anything positive you feel the need to, We all need to hear it, even if some of us fight any positivity tooth and nail. those who want to drown in self pity can and those who want to take your positve outlook for what it's worth can too. You remember that there are plenty of new mom's out there who need to know that life with a BPI kid is not all as bad as it's made out to be here. For me my ds has been the joy of my life. Pam
Re: What about the Injured Child?
Yep, we are all definitely different and we still manage to get along. Sometimes we get worried about what our kids are going to SAY once they get old enough to spout off about the things they have gone through. Thank goodness we have Carrie and Kath--we know some of how they are going to feel at least. i greatly appreciate that..Lord knows I need it sometimes just to get through another bout of this or that.
As far as looking at it that the doctor saved her life--I guess one could think of it that way. I am going to pretend to throw your adorable new kitten in the washer--he's dirty and I know that there are dangers about putting him in there but hey! I have washed at least 20 loads of laundry a week for the last 29 years--I am an expert, I will be very careful with your kittie, trust me. We're getting through this wash fine, he is holding his head up, going around and around, but hey, he still has a heartbeat. Oh no, the spin cycle doesn't seem to be doing what it is supposed to do--he looks pretty rugged. I know I can save him--I am an expert at laundry you know-so I reach in, drag his hiney out, revive him and VOILA! there's your kitty. Now I had to break his leg to get him out, he was stuck in the spin cycle and it wasn't going like it should have been. Pay me now, aren't you sooooo greatful that I took care of him? It won't matter that you will have to feed him with an eyedropper for the rest of his life or catherize him for urine. And you can hold his rear up while he does his business in the litter, you won't mind will you, it is your job as a kittie parent. Sorry carrie--got carried away. While we eventually have to let go of the anger there is no way I will utter the words "she saved your life". There are times when an emergency arises and things happen--but when all the signs are there, every indication known to mankind says (what a coincidence) "Houston, we have a problem" then that physician put the child in danger--just like I knew that darned cat was going to get hurt when I put him in the washer.
Sorry everyone...I had better log off while I am still in this mood. Sleep, let me sleep, just one night w/o getting up with a baby over and over crying it hurts, armie hurts. Or mook--I want mook, passie and gankie. (Milk, pacifier and blanket for the non blessed)
As far as looking at it that the doctor saved her life--I guess one could think of it that way. I am going to pretend to throw your adorable new kitten in the washer--he's dirty and I know that there are dangers about putting him in there but hey! I have washed at least 20 loads of laundry a week for the last 29 years--I am an expert, I will be very careful with your kittie, trust me. We're getting through this wash fine, he is holding his head up, going around and around, but hey, he still has a heartbeat. Oh no, the spin cycle doesn't seem to be doing what it is supposed to do--he looks pretty rugged. I know I can save him--I am an expert at laundry you know-so I reach in, drag his hiney out, revive him and VOILA! there's your kitty. Now I had to break his leg to get him out, he was stuck in the spin cycle and it wasn't going like it should have been. Pay me now, aren't you sooooo greatful that I took care of him? It won't matter that you will have to feed him with an eyedropper for the rest of his life or catherize him for urine. And you can hold his rear up while he does his business in the litter, you won't mind will you, it is your job as a kittie parent. Sorry carrie--got carried away. While we eventually have to let go of the anger there is no way I will utter the words "she saved your life". There are times when an emergency arises and things happen--but when all the signs are there, every indication known to mankind says (what a coincidence) "Houston, we have a problem" then that physician put the child in danger--just like I knew that darned cat was going to get hurt when I put him in the washer.
Sorry everyone...I had better log off while I am still in this mood. Sleep, let me sleep, just one night w/o getting up with a baby over and over crying it hurts, armie hurts. Or mook--I want mook, passie and gankie. (Milk, pacifier and blanket for the non blessed)
Re: What about the Injured Child?
I don't think anyone was slinging mud and drowning here in negativity..we all have to do what we have to do.
thanks
thanks
Re: What about the Injured Child?
Primrose....
Well of Negativity???
Sorry I did not read that in the posts.... and as for Flashly... I like that post too... I saw others give their reasons for suing or anger sometimes and I don't find this board to be all negative....
As for me and my post... well I do think I should answer........anyone who knows me would NEVER call me negative even at the worst moments of my life and at 62 and obpi I have had many.
As for loving the doctor who saved your childs life...
Well he told my Mom that he saved my life too! but of course two others died from birth injury!!! One of the doctors could no longer practice in my state....so she was glad I was only injured. Even 62 years ago with all the red flags they knew that my mom should have had a C-Section...
so no I am not thankful.... nor am I angry...
Remember I have always been injured.... I know no other way of life.... and I can report with all honesty I have had it all... jobs... children, grandchildren... friends.
While I respect your right to your opinion I do not feel that calling this a well of negativity is respectful to others feelings nor do I feel that I want to be included in such a statement. An since I express my opinion on this thread it includes me.
Kath
Well of Negativity???
Sorry I did not read that in the posts.... and as for Flashly... I like that post too... I saw others give their reasons for suing or anger sometimes and I don't find this board to be all negative....
As for me and my post... well I do think I should answer........anyone who knows me would NEVER call me negative even at the worst moments of my life and at 62 and obpi I have had many.
As for loving the doctor who saved your childs life...
Well he told my Mom that he saved my life too! but of course two others died from birth injury!!! One of the doctors could no longer practice in my state....so she was glad I was only injured. Even 62 years ago with all the red flags they knew that my mom should have had a C-Section...
so no I am not thankful.... nor am I angry...
Remember I have always been injured.... I know no other way of life.... and I can report with all honesty I have had it all... jobs... children, grandchildren... friends.
While I respect your right to your opinion I do not feel that calling this a well of negativity is respectful to others feelings nor do I feel that I want to be included in such a statement. An since I express my opinion on this thread it includes me.
Kath
Re: What about the Injured Child?
Kathleen,
I was not referring to this thread but the tone of the board in general as negative. Frashley took the opportunity to try and post something positive in relation to her situation. Some where okay and supportive with that, but some took her thread and twisted it to a negative perspective of their situations. To the point that she ended up appoligizing for being positive. I have been lurking on this board for about a year now, long before the change, and yes I feel confident in saying it is a negative place. When a mother can not even come here and make a positive statement with out someone making her feel bad for it. When a mother says she has felt like she is maybe not fighting as she should because she has choosen to try and have a positive outlook. When she is trying to express herself and feel good what happens she is brought down for it. Not by every poster, but even one is sad. If someone wants to post their negative feelings this is certainly a place to do it, but is it fair to do within someone elses thread? Or at the expense of someone elses feelings? Don't worry I am pretty sure I am going to be jumped all over in disagreement here, but it is just my observation. Means nothing and will be forgotten by the time this thread rolls.
I was not referring to this thread but the tone of the board in general as negative. Frashley took the opportunity to try and post something positive in relation to her situation. Some where okay and supportive with that, but some took her thread and twisted it to a negative perspective of their situations. To the point that she ended up appoligizing for being positive. I have been lurking on this board for about a year now, long before the change, and yes I feel confident in saying it is a negative place. When a mother can not even come here and make a positive statement with out someone making her feel bad for it. When a mother says she has felt like she is maybe not fighting as she should because she has choosen to try and have a positive outlook. When she is trying to express herself and feel good what happens she is brought down for it. Not by every poster, but even one is sad. If someone wants to post their negative feelings this is certainly a place to do it, but is it fair to do within someone elses thread? Or at the expense of someone elses feelings? Don't worry I am pretty sure I am going to be jumped all over in disagreement here, but it is just my observation. Means nothing and will be forgotten by the time this thread rolls.
Re: What about the Injured Child?
"When a mother can not even come here and make a positive statement with out someone making her feel bad for it."
I feel sad that you feel that way. I don't get that impression at all.
-francine
I feel sad that you feel that way. I don't get that impression at all.
-francine
Re: What about the Injured Child?
Hi again, this is Wendy in Ottawa. I liked your post re. What about the injured child? I was wondering how old is Ashley. You mentioned she had a mild injury and would be having surgery to get some lift?
My son Jack is 3 1/2. He was 10 lbs, 9ozs at birth and was stuck at the shoulders and my pelvis bone. He actually coded during delivery because the cord was caught between his shoulder and my pelvis bone. So, the doc tried to snap his clavicle but to no avail. I don't know why he didn't break my pelvis. Instead he reached in, grabbed hold of his arm - the right arm at that, and pulled him out be the arm. I was told it was the lesser of two evils because he coded.
Resusitation seemed to take forever, and then he was transferred to NICU. The whole point however, is that the doc let me go to 43 weeks gestation, denied my requests for an ultrasound after being told I would have a 9 - 10 lb. baby and wouldn't consider a C-section. I was finally induced after he returned from vacation!!! There, now I vented... Ha Ha!
Anyway, of course, I'm glad he's alive. My husband and I are very much aware of the blessing we have in Jack. But, we will continue to do what we can for our son and his whole life ahead of him. My son has wrist and elbow flexion. He can raise his arm to shoulder level - no higher. We've been told he has no bicep or tricep muscle innervation. Is this similar to your daughters? We have been told surgery usually is not worth it because results are so minimal. Perhaps we should be seeking a new doc, and PT,OT team. Any insight you can offer would be appreciated. Take care, Wendy
My son Jack is 3 1/2. He was 10 lbs, 9ozs at birth and was stuck at the shoulders and my pelvis bone. He actually coded during delivery because the cord was caught between his shoulder and my pelvis bone. So, the doc tried to snap his clavicle but to no avail. I don't know why he didn't break my pelvis. Instead he reached in, grabbed hold of his arm - the right arm at that, and pulled him out be the arm. I was told it was the lesser of two evils because he coded.
Resusitation seemed to take forever, and then he was transferred to NICU. The whole point however, is that the doc let me go to 43 weeks gestation, denied my requests for an ultrasound after being told I would have a 9 - 10 lb. baby and wouldn't consider a C-section. I was finally induced after he returned from vacation!!! There, now I vented... Ha Ha!
Anyway, of course, I'm glad he's alive. My husband and I are very much aware of the blessing we have in Jack. But, we will continue to do what we can for our son and his whole life ahead of him. My son has wrist and elbow flexion. He can raise his arm to shoulder level - no higher. We've been told he has no bicep or tricep muscle innervation. Is this similar to your daughters? We have been told surgery usually is not worth it because results are so minimal. Perhaps we should be seeking a new doc, and PT,OT team. Any insight you can offer would be appreciated. Take care, Wendy
Re: What about the Injured Child?
"When a mother can not even come here and make a positive statement without someone making her feel bad for it"
Could a possible observation be if someone feels like they are doing all for their child and chooses a less popular path of treatment, like it's not good enough or their doc doesn't measure up? Just a thought. :0)
I've had tooooo much coffee so I'm going to go before I start going on and on and read to much into it.
Cindy
Could a possible observation be if someone feels like they are doing all for their child and chooses a less popular path of treatment, like it's not good enough or their doc doesn't measure up? Just a thought. :0)
I've had tooooo much coffee so I'm going to go before I start going on and on and read to much into it.
Cindy