How do you explain surgery to 2 yr. old?

[Sophie's Mom]

Here is a list of books recommended by Cincinnati Children's Hospital http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/svc/ ... e/info.htm

Francine, you could copy some of the list to put on your web site. We have rented many of these books from our library and Sophie (2 1/2 ROBPI) and Katie (4 1/2) really love them. I think they have really familiarized them with the hospital and have made the hospital less of a mystery. The books explain about casts, doctors, nurses, labs, stitches, staying overnight; you name it. Just last week we had to get stitches for Katie and now the kids fight over those books!

Sophie is 2 1/2 and has secondary surgery scheduled for november, so I've been struggling with the same issue. Here is what I've come up with so far:
1. Keep the adult conversations to a minimum when they are around; they pick up a lot and can pick up on your worries too.
2. Don't tell them much until they need to know it; a 2-year old doesn't need a month to think about surgery like we do. Maybe a day.
3. Do read books about hospitals, especially if your child is having presurgical testing such as x-rays and MRI's. They will understand more about doctors, nurses, and blood pressure guages if they've seen it in a children's book.
4. I've also told the kids a lot about casts. About my cast from the third grade (pictures help). About the kid down the street who broke his arm. Etc. Get them used to that idea.
5. What I plan to do with Sophie is show her video's and pictures of her as a baby to show her arm when it was so "sleepy" and say "look how much stronger your arm is now that your a big girl!" Lots of positive reinforcement. I really don't ever want her to feel that she is inadequate or that this is her fault. Then tell her that her arm is still a litte "sleepy" or not as "strong" as her other arm and that she will get a cast to help it get stronger. Since she will be under anesthesia during surgery with a cast over the incision, I really don't think she needs to know about surgery at all. I think we will wait until right before the surgery to tell her about it.
6. I also want to prepare them for the no-bath thing, because they take baths together and really enjoy this. But, again, not until right before surgery. We'll make it fun. Sponges. Let sister help.
7. Get a new "big girl" car seat for the cast with a fancy drink holder like big sister.
8. Make it an adventure.
9. Since big sister will have lots of questions that won't necessarily cross little sister's mind, talk with her about it a separate time.

These are my plans. Not sure how well they will work. But I'm there in the same boat with you. Keep me posted on how things go! And feel free to email me if you want to chat.
- Tina

[Sophie's Mom]

BY the way, Sophie had her MRI last week, and she did wonderfully with all of it. She did not even flinch when they stuck the IV needle in her little hand. This is the same girl who required 4 adults to hold her down for an x-ray. I think the books really, really helped. She knew what everything was, including the IV. I really recommend the Mr. Roger's book and Curious George.
- Tina

[crestmom7411]

I went and told my eight year old that my son was going to have surgery, thinking she knew most of what was going on. It seems she was as aware of the situation as I thought. SHe lost it. It took me an hour to calm her down. She knew we were going to Texas to see the doctor, but I guess she didn't know what they were going to do. The only advice I could give to anyone about telling siblings is keep it simple and don't tell them much about what will happen. I should of just told my daughter that the doctor was going to help my son and left it at that.
Kelly