"other" Child non BPI

[crystal]

Has anyone had a extremely intense child. Jades, Sister Emma is that child. From day 1 we knew she was differnt. She cried all the time. now that she is 2 years old it hasn't got any better.If she asks for water i will give water then she will scream that it isn't milk. We have tried all kinds of love and disapline. none works. Im at the last straw with her. we where at the mall and she got mad becouse i would notlet her walkon the fountain ledge. i was afriad she would fall in. so she throw a screaming fit. it lasted all the way home and a hour later. In that time i gave many opions on how get out of it. Like we can go back to the water fountian, but no clieming on it. it was no use. every thing we plan we always ask our selfs is worth it to go with Emma. The store are the worst. Does anybody know who I can talk to about it.I now that i am doin somthing wrong with her I just don't know what. isn't BPI related but I know someone can help me

[PeggyF]

Maybe it's the name "Emma" and the second child syndrome(not the non bpi because my Emma has the permanent bpi).

Check out the book 1-2-3 Magic. It helps a lot! If you feel that this isn't helpful perhaps you should seek a child's behavioral psychologist (this is where I got the suggestion for the above book--we actually took our Emma several years ago. She's 7 now). She's still strong willed. That was it, really, and our lack of consistancy with her because of all that the family had been through with her injury, etc.

It's good that you didn't let her get away with the behavior that you didn't accept.

[crystal]

Thank you for the book suggestion. I will check it out. I did read the "Difficult Child" book and it did help with somethings. mostly with understanding her behavior, but there was nothing on how to solve it. At this point i just want to cope with it.

[PeggyF]

I hope it helps. This book tells you exactly how to deal with unwanted behaviors. It's not very big--do read all of it before you start. Good luck!

Peggy

[Lenni]

Hi there Crystal, I too have a younger daughter, non BPI who is quite the child. Her name is Frannie, and we too think carefully about the trips and events we attend with Frannie. She is an absolute love, there is no doubt but very challanging indeed. Frannie is 4 now, and believe it or not she has improved with age, not in leaps and bounds but a little. When she has her fits for not getting her way, she is in her room on her own and there are not options given. When the fit is over, we sit down and talk........most often I ask her "Frannie, do you know why you were in your bedroom alone?" And she knows, she answers " Because I did not mind my manners "

So, I empathize Crystal, aged 2 and 3 were pretty tough with 2 being the hardest so far. Good Luck, you have been given some excellent ideas........I am thinking of checking out the book 123 magic too!

Blessings,

Lenni

[PeggyF]

I was looking for the book so that I could tell you who the author was, but my husband must have taken it with him. He said he needed to re-read a few chapters. He and Emma have been going many rounds, lately.
It shouldn't be too difficult to find.

[Tessie258]

I would definately talk to a child psychologist and ask their advice for this problem. I have known 2 other people with children that throw explosive tantrums and they both have said the way they handle it is very embarrassing but very effective and that is to restrain the child immediately by sitting on the floor(mall, grocery store, zoo, wherever) and putting them into a safe hold. One even said she had a card she kept in her purse to show nosy people that it(the hold) was recommended by the psychologist. I guess it just depends on your personality....at my age now I could probably do this but when I was a young mom I would have died of embarrassment!!! I remember one of my son's was soooo bad when he was little that I never took him anywhere!! I just kept him home until he grew out of it!! Best of luck!!!
T.
Here's a few links I looked up....I haven't read them all...you may need to research awhile.


http://www.gigglemagazine.com/t-tantrm.htm

www.qualitychildcare.org/pdf/techspeak_childguid.pdf

http://www.bathnes.gov.uk/psychology/po ... ension.htm

http://www.cyps.co.uk/pdf/restraint.pdf

http://www.alaskafamily.org/kids/grow/p ... ines.shtml

[cybermomx4]

Okay, first off ladies, 123 Magic is GREAT and it is available on VHS tape at Block Buster and at your local library.....At Block Buster here in Illinois it is a free rental. I have a 16 year old with ADHD and I thought I would scream. A younger chilod having a temper tamtrum in public is one thing....try a sixteen year old and he is bigger than me. It has worked miracles.....it is worth every effort. It is not too early for her to see a specialist.....therapist. I think sometimes kids are being teased at school, outside or whatever and they act out at home. A therapist can help you with this

[Lulumom]

My child is a very intense child. When she was 6 months, I found the "Fussy Baby" book by Dr. Sears. He calls these kids "high need" children. I think babycenter.com has a bb that has high need children as a topic. Reading that book SAVED me, and it does talk about discipline issues. He also has a website...although I don't know it's exact address. Also, the book "The Highly Sensitive Child", the author escapes me helped me realize some insights to my child. At almost 3, we are in a really good place. I understand her triggers and try to plan accordingly. For her, change is a trigger...and the biggest trigger is her feeling of lack of control. EVERYTHING has to be her idea or her decision. So my big challenge is to get her to do what I want, but let her believe it is her idea. We can go shopping together now, and even to restaurants...it's been nice.

[phaliscak]

1-2-3 Magic is a great book. It was and still is the answers to my prayers! The complete Title is

1-2-3 Magic Effective Discipline for Children 2-12.

The author is Thomas W. Phelan,Ph.D

It's an awesome, awesome book. You have to follow it EXACTLY the way they say.

I didn't think it would work for children over 12, but if it did that is great news.

Another thing I also found out is that new statistics are out saying that 75% of children diagnosed with ADD and ADHD have some kind of sleeping disorder. That's a BIG % worth checking out. Although 2 yrs old is a bit young, for the rest of us who's children are 6 yrs old and older ask for a sleep study done and maybe it can the answer your looking for.

Patty