Hello Everyone,
I know there has to be adults that have gone through this.
The one every day challenge I have is the "hand shake". I cannot shake with my right bp hand without "clawing" the other person. I've done the "stick the left hand out" but some people just look at you funny or automatically stick their right hand out. So now that I'm in a "management" position, I feel it neccessary to say, "sorry, I have a bad right arm". The left hand shake can be very insulting to some adults. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Thanks!
Melanie
The "proper" handshake
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jennyb
- Posts: 1183
- Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2001 5:24 pm
- Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: January 1980 Yamaha RD200 vs 16 wheeler truck, result, 1 totally paralysed right arm. I was 21, now 54. I had no surgery, I don't regret this. Decided to totally ignore limitations (easily done aged 21) adapted very quickly to one handed life, got married, had 3 kids, worked- the effect of the injury on my life (once the pain stopped being constant) was minimal and now, aged 54, I very rarely even think of it, unless I bash it or it gets cold, then I wish I'd had it amputated :) Except for a steering knob on my car, I have no adaptations to help with life, mainly because I honestly don't think of myself as disabled and the only thing I can't do is peel potatoes, which is definitely a good thing.
Re: The
Hi Melanie, i faced this most days when I worked in a bank. Every time i had a client I had to shake their hand, I have a right tbpi with no use of my hand or arm, so no choice about shaking with lefty. Some people were fine about it and had the manners not to notice (if u see what I mean) some were genuinely interested-i would always say something like, "enforced lefty" or whatever, they would ask about the right arm, i'd give then the bpi speech- and some as you say actually seem offended....as far as i am concerned that last group can GET OVER THEMSELVES...and don't apologise to these people for your arm, they should be apologising for their personality defects if they are offended by a lefty handshake, this is 2003 , i think it's time society got over the 'left hand bad' thing!
.....sorry, this is something i feel quite strongly about as you can tell. I found the longer I did it the more I got used to it, the less embarrassed I was and the easier it was for my clients to cope-they seem to sense your unease if you're not confident about it. Hope you crack this one Melanie, I still remember the panic that swept over me the first time I was faced with this situation :0)
.....sorry, this is something i feel quite strongly about as you can tell. I found the longer I did it the more I got used to it, the less embarrassed I was and the easier it was for my clients to cope-they seem to sense your unease if you're not confident about it. Hope you crack this one Melanie, I still remember the panic that swept over me the first time I was faced with this situation :0)
Re: The
ahh, i have another funny story.
In guiding you sulute(sp) with your right hand and shake with your left. Well i was at a district event when the person who was organising it said "blablabla"(cause she knew abt me although not met) and went to shake hands and i just put out my left hand as normal. and she then said "silly me not quite in Guide mode" and changed hands and shook with her left hand. it was rather amusing cause i was not expecting that.
and then there was sanother one when i was getting part of my Gold duke of edinburgh award, the lady who was giving me the certificate knew me through working with me in the learning support unit and when she shook my hand she also shook with her left hand.
In our society it should not be offencive although it can be in Africa because of the way they live so i think in the western world we should get over our selves but not necessarily the whole world.
Ana<
In guiding you sulute(sp) with your right hand and shake with your left. Well i was at a district event when the person who was organising it said "blablabla"(cause she knew abt me although not met) and went to shake hands and i just put out my left hand as normal. and she then said "silly me not quite in Guide mode" and changed hands and shook with her left hand. it was rather amusing cause i was not expecting that.
and then there was sanother one when i was getting part of my Gold duke of edinburgh award, the lady who was giving me the certificate knew me through working with me in the learning support unit and when she shook my hand she also shook with her left hand.
In our society it should not be offencive although it can be in Africa because of the way they live so i think in the western world we should get over our selves but not necessarily the whole world.
Ana<
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Karen Hillyer
- Posts: 562
- Joined: Fri Sep 06, 2002 1:36 pm
Re: The
I was VERY pleased to note that when I was in Paris at the symposium for BPI Docs, one of the British specialists was introuduced to a person with a right TBPI for the first time and he automatically held out his left hand for her to shake, I was SOOOOO impressed because he had thought about the person with the TBPI and wanted to save them the embarassment of this situation.
It's something I am going to try and remember to do where ever possible.
Gavin (11yrs robpi) usually puts out his left hand automatically, but I try and prompt him now to use his right hand - I think the function is good enough for him to use it to shake.
Good thread!
Karen
It's something I am going to try and remember to do where ever possible.
Gavin (11yrs robpi) usually puts out his left hand automatically, but I try and prompt him now to use his right hand - I think the function is good enough for him to use it to shake.
Good thread!
Karen
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Michelle_16
Re: The handshake
Dont you think it is funny how such a little thing effects us?
When i 1st met Mr Hems he put out his left arm right away to shake my hand...i thought that was pretty nice of him.
I think these people who are offended by improper handshake need to get a grip, it would b a different story if they were in our possition!!!
Michelle x
When i 1st met Mr Hems he put out his left arm right away to shake my hand...i thought that was pretty nice of him.
I think these people who are offended by improper handshake need to get a grip, it would b a different story if they were in our possition!!!
Michelle x