Depression and anger

[Heidi38]

Hi. I am very happy to have found this site because this injury is so hard for people to understand physically and emotionally. I was 7 mths pregnant , in love, and ready for a happy future. My fiancé left the house one morning and was in a horrific car accident that changed our lives forever. He wasn't expected to survive. He was in the hospital for 3 mths and an induced coma for almost 1 mth. Miracles do happen. He retaught himself to walk,talk,eat, etc...but has a flaccid rt arm. All nerves were severed. We seem to have gotten through a lot of the pain, although his arm has atrophied, hand curled up, and shoulder dislocated. We are seeing one more surgeon before deciding on amputation. That scares me to death. He didn't have insurance at the time so he now has state ins which does not cover the nerve transfer. We were so happy ....never even had an argument. Now, so much depression has set in and so much anger. We have a new baby. We should be enjoying life. I'm really scared and want our lives back. Are there any support groups that we can go to in the palm beach area? We need help. I don't want to lose my family.

[AngelaW]

Welcome to the site and glad you found it. I hope that it will help you find both comfort and knowledge to help you and your family along. I think we have a few similar circumstances so I sent you a PM to your messages.
Take care and Good Luck,
Ang

[jmar]

one thing that might help you cope with the depression and anger. DO NOT take anything he says personally. the pain of this injury is not anything you can imagine. i know with my injury, i felt like my arm was soaking in a tub of hot oil for several weeks. that would make anyone lash out at anyone who came near. the other pains and severe sensations are not as bad, but can make a person very angry and depressed due to the frustration it causes because it wont let up even when you are asleep.

[Master DIVER TOM]

I will try to help
I HATE these injuries without DIRECTION IT IS SO . IT is better to hope and realize the fact That it hard to get surgery or future possible treatment IF YOU decide on Amputation . Maybe for now you need to step back. IS it because the injury LOOKS bad MINE does it inch sorter for 61 years with left birth erbs and broken scapula to driving semi for 25 years with next to no usage in my left, I never had surgery or new of them in my life time now there posted like STARS out here!!! KEEP THE ARM PLEASE , I WONDER , Does OBAMA CARE help pay on these types of injuries??

If your in PAIN then you are in a LIFE time Quest to fine relief How many Post our out here on Pain relief ?? If your in pain then it next to impossible to be able to try

MR POSITIVE_FORVER<KEEP THE ARM PAIN AND DEPRESSION are the SAME , IF you can lesson the pain than your less depressed??? I THINK I hope this helps Please find a person who has lost a arm and ask them how it like have no arm, I once new a one arm Mechanic that help me when I was little about this Idea of Amputation , Forget it KID ,you limitation are still a tool to assist your good arm, Sure enough it WAS IN LIFE I GUESS you really do learn to think ONE handed?????
Tom I hope I said it OK?

[ArmStrong]

Sorry you guys have to go through this.The best support group I've found is right here on this site.I've gotten the best advice and encouragement from the folks on here who KNOW what I'm going through and yes it is depressing and upsetting and you may never get over it but you can get through it.

[Master DIVER TOM]

BUT HOLLY CATS -Luke Shy Walker plugin arms would be nice-!! SOME -Day fact or Fiction I am in AWWW- So many Tools to adapt and GREAT ADVICE to BOOT !!!! , I think some one will write a Glossy of trys!! When you reach out your never ALONE???
Mr Positive >FOREVER-!! SAVE the ARM wait for a PLUG-IN Ask a question you might find a direction, I HOPE!!
Tom

[djk]

hi. the emotions are to be expected. this type injury hurts in so many ways. the thing is you and your man can get through it. are you talking palm beach, fl? cause i used to live in cocoa beach area. i'm not sure of support groups in your area but i visit fl at times and if you two want a friend who is in the same boat as far as the injury goes let me know. but, please do not beat up yourselves. life goes on, not as you two had dreamed but you still have your love for each other and your child and a beautiful life ahead all you have to do is want it and build on it one day at a time.. be kind to yourselves & good luck. doug

[BeckyandChris]

Its so hard watching the one you love go through so much! I do that too. Don't give up. Appeal the state insurance and fight for your right for medical care for him. My husband also has the curled up hand, but he is glad they reattached it. He has figured our ways to use it. He is still an excellent xbox 360 gamer. Beats all of his friends. His elbow didn't work until he had the nerve transfer ad his shoulder is much better too but it still all has alot of atrophy. They say amputation doesn't help with the pain. Hang in there. This is a great board. Becky

[Master DIVER TOM]

You know, I FELL LIKE BACK FROM THE _FUTURE SOMETIMES HERE!! I have been married 31 years to Kathy and she pick me inspire of my erbs Joy does happen in life but it is all about trying and WILL to overcome things you can,you most not dwell on CANT -does , ITS bad for your head DEPRESSION deepen for sure You all our doing great,TRUST ME I KNOW outcome by Experience, not Treatment, I will stay in AWWWW over treatments TOday and Further ones for sure I see !!!! YOU ARE NEVER TO LATE, TO TRY
GOD BLESS YOUR QUEST HAPPY ENDING DO happen it is a QUEST for sure in life P.S- If you can not work,Please apply for SOCIAL SECURITY DISABILITY, some in come and Some medical from Part A to you-you do pay for Part B. Worry about money is a life long experience , No help there its another QUEST But see what your State has to I did Time to get off my soap box
Tom

[peterabb]

Its so hard watching the one you love go through so much! I do that too. Don't give up. Appeal the state insurance and fight for your right for medical care for him. My husband also has the curled up hand, but he is glad they reattached it. He has figured our ways to use it. He is still an excellent xbox 360 gamer. Beats all of his friends. His elbow didn't work until he had the nerve transfer ad his shoulder is much better too but it still all has alot of atrophy. They say amputation doesn't help with the pain. Hang in there. This is a great board. Becky

hello Becky,
My accident happened a little over a year after your husband's 3/15/08 I actually had all 5 BP nerves avulsed C-5-8 & T-1
I went to the Mayo about 4 month post-accident to have a total BP reconstruction as a result I have elbow flexion but that's about it. I too have the "claw"
Unfortunately my marriage wasn't that strong to begin with so we divorced a year ago. I have a nine year old daughter who is my life - I am very much involved with her and we have an awesome relationship. I I was also curious about support groups in this area (new haven, CT) I have lately been feeling depressed, not so much from the limited use of my arm, but from the damn constant pain. I have taken the same regimen of pain killers for about three years (Oxycontin, gabepentin Oxycodone in between)
I am just concerned about the LT effects of these meds, but I've tried to reduce them but the pain intensifies.
I somehow manage to keep my job although I know my performance is not what it was.
This makes me both sad and anxious as I am concerned for my future. Will it be just a pain filled, lonely exsistence? I had alot going for me before, now I'm not sure anymore.
Thanks for listening everyone.
ps I'm so sorry for hijacking your thread