Self esteem post,......Wow.

[Mare]

Bump up for Keegers

[smith727]

Luc,

I do very well at judo, I think one of the problems that some of us have is that we have a tendency to "Baby" our injured limbs too much. This causes the limb to become soft and brittle. That is not the case for all, but it was the case for me. Once I began to use it as much as I could, it grew stronger and toughened up. My problems are strictly nerve related, not bone and muscle related; but by non-use, the bones and muscles became soft and weak. Judo helped me to regain some of that strength and toughness.


Message was edited by: smith727

[emilyalberger]

i hear ya...ive had a very bad time growing up in a small town after years of hiding it, our midde school forced us to have a play and i had to be a cheerleader in it...when it was my part to cheer EVERYBODY seen that i couldnt hold my left arm up n i heard some parents say "wow" n whispering and then on i was the laughing stock of the school as kids walked pass i hear them say wheres the rest of the circus?...and the next day the TEACHERS were stareing not talking to me it was horrible i dealt with it for a couple of months (getting picked on non stop) n finally i snapped one day and told one of the main bullies Gloria, to (to put it in civle words) to go do what prostitutes do in the school bathroom like she did a month ago...her jaw hit the floor and she swung at me n missed n hit my bad arm, thats what made me plant her face into a locker n say "my left arm may be Fed up but my right will F u up"...then i walked right out of that school n walked home to my creek(half a county away).(thats whered id end up after school cause i didnt know what to do id cry for hours and hours out there even spending the night there after sneaking out) they got me to the point where i didnt even want my parents seeing it.i still have major issues with my image because of cruel people like them. since that though ive moved to fl n found an amazing husband and had an amazing daughter....sorry for the long sob story i needed to vent to someone that might know what ive been through after those memorys poped up (ive pounded them back into my subconcious so im good now)

[cnmoffitt413]

I've been a bit behind on the recent posts, so I was hoping someone could help catch me up. What post struck a nerve? Was it just written about having a BPI or did some one get on here and bash on us?

When I was younger, I was made fun of because my arm hung funny. I was called lopsided, cripple, and retarded arm. I think the one that hurt the most was cripple, because I did feel handicapped by my arm, and being called "cripple" made me feel like I really was useless. As I got older, I became more ignorant of the name calling, and I think my classmates finally just got sick of it because I never responded to their teasing.

I remember being teased in gym class once because I couldn't throw the ball (probably playing dodgeball or something like that.) I finally got so sick of the taunting from a particular classmate (who gave everyone grief...definitely the "class bully") that I picked up the dodgeball, and chucked it at him. Somehow, with all that anger inside of me, I managed to chuck the ball right at his face. He ended up with a bloody nose and I knocked him right on his butt. Of course I got the brunt of punishment. I remember going home and telling my parents why I got sent to the principal's office, and they were proud of me for showing that kid a piece of my mind. It was probably justified in their minds that I was "using my arm" so they couldn't yell at me.

Some of the teasing came from my brother, just because it was a soft spot for him to hit me with, and occasionally he'd poke fun at my arm. I never took him seriously just because it was siblings and we tease each other all the time about imperfections.

I have a tough skin, and I know I wouldn't be nearly this tough if I didn't have a BPI. Although my BPI does hinder me in some things, I am grateful that I have such a tough skin. I've learned to brush rude comments about anything off, and I am not easily offended. I also am not afraid to stand up for myself or my friends because I've been defending myself for years. I probably wouldn't be as outspoken and blunt if I didn't have a BPI.

[Jennifer P]

I was never really made fun of about my arm, but one noticeable thing has happened a few times. After explaining what Erb's Palsy is to some people, if it came up in conversation later, some people get confused and ask me about my Cerebral Palsy. It's a bit awkward.

[Carolyn J]

LOW SElf Esteem IS a common experience at least for me and other BPI Adults I have met, corresponded with, and read on these 5 pages of posts here. My life decisions would have been entirely different had I had self esteem. I was not validated for my pain and all difficulties in my life until I found UBPN at age 66 in 2004. Depression is also a common secondary medical issue for alot of us. There is no shame in asking for help. I learned this the hard way when I hit a wall at menopause in the 1980's. We "BPI-ers" are all plagued with "doing it ourselves, & just gritting thru everything tough" and NOT asking for help, which sometimes results in further injuring our "good" side!

Keep on Keeping on,
Carolyn J
LOBPI/73 & proud of it

[Erdrix]

I'm the kind of person who'll make fun of himself before someone else can. Its hard for bullies to make fun of you when you already said what they were going to say. It didn't happen often, but it did occur.

I did have a kid call me Bob Dole once and I just replied with "Bob Dole don't need this."

Now the worse experience I had occurred a few years ago. I was driving to work at 4:30 in the morning and this guy rear ended me, in his brand new bmw, on the highway. I don't know how fast he was going but he hit me hard. While waiting for the police I spent the next 20 mins being yelled out about being crippled and I'm why stupid retarded cripples shouldn't be allowed to drive.

My supervisor use to walk by me holding his arm bent. I told his boss and he denied it, but he stopped doing it.

Tried to get a job at a pest control place and they where all gung-ho about hiring me and then they noticed my arm and suddenly didn't have a position available. That was the first time in my life that I actually felt disabled.

[kricks225]

My nickname was chicken wing and nung nung with a" floppy hand gesture". School was very hard. Sadly my teachers were only made the problem worse. phy ed was a nightmare. my teacher had the students jump rope for a warm up so every day I stood in the gym holding a rope and being forced to make attempts at jumping rope while the kids laughed and called me names. When I would say something to the teacher he would tell me I had to try... This finally ended when my parents went to speak to him and told him to jump rope with his hand behind his back when he couldn't do it he finally got it. lol!!! I have two friends that I keep in contact with from school as far as the rest I have nothing to do with them. I have never nor will I ever attend a class reunion. However as an adult I have found that my arm is not an issue and if anything it has made me more sensitive to others. I have been able to take care of myself and do anything " other then jump rope ha " that I set my mind to . including swimming and being a lab tech. To the guy that wrote about the prison and people there giving him nicknames I just want to say keep in mind who and what kind of adults you are dealing with. I think most adults hardly take notice unless.

[kricks225]

My nickname was chicken wing and nung nung with a" floppy hand gesture". School was very hard. Sadly my teachers were only made the problem worse. phy ed was a nightmare. my teacher had the students jump rope for a warm up so every day I stood in the gym holding a rope and being forced to make attempts at jumping rope while the kids laughed and called me names. When I would say something to the teacher he would tell me I had to try... This finally ended when my parents went to speak to him and told him to jump rope with his hand behind his back when he couldn't do it he finally got it. lol!!! I have two friends that I keep in contact with from school as far as the rest I have nothing to do with them. I have never nor will I ever attend a class reunion. However as an adult I have found that my arm is not an issue and if anything it has made me more sensitive to others. I have been able to take care of myself and do anything " other then jump rope ha " that I set my mind to . including swimming and being a lab tech. To the guy that wrote about the prison and people there giving him nicknames I just want to say keep in mind who and what kind of adults you are dealing with. I think most adults hardly take notice unless.

[Erdrix]

Oh god, I remember having to jump rope in gym. The best I could do is have it slap me in the back of the head. Just to be a smarty pants I laid the rope on the floor and then jumped over it.