First of all, I am truly sorry that you and your family have had to go through so much with your son and surgery, I really am. I can only imagine the heartache you have had to endure.katep wrote:Most people who stick around on these boards after their children are older, do so because their children were injured severely enough that the injury is still a big component of life years and decades later. That's not a choice, it is an unfortunate fact of life for some.
For quite a long time, it seemed that only the parents or more severely injured children ever even FOUND this site. In the past, many parents of children with very mild injuries never even learned the name of their children's temporary condition! We have had several parents whose 2nd or 3rd child was severely injured, and it was only THEN that they found out the name of that transient condition their first or second child had!! Now we have more educated parents and more parents coming here when their kids are still in the very early stages of a full recovery. I'm glad to see that the statistics seem to not be completely made up - that most kids really DO make a full recovery early on. I am very glad for those parents whose children were injured mildly enough that they can "graduate" from worrying about BPI and it's continued effects.
However... I would like to ask those of you whose children have such mild injuries to please try to be sensitive. Yes, surgery is a choice, but the need for surgery is something about which you have no choice... and certainly something NO ONE would ever choose willingly for their child, for no good reason. LydiasMommy, I hope you don't feel picked on by this. It's wonderful that you are not "considering" surgery for your child. Truly! But the reason you are not considering it is because obviously it would be a silly decision if your child is expected to make a full recovery without surgery. There is not a parent reading here who would not rather be in your shoes than struggling with the deciding on a surgery that MIGHT MAYBE give their child a chance at better movement and function. Chances are that if your child continues with her excellent recovery, your attention will eventually turn to other, more pressing matters, and you won't come around much anymore. You won't have the need. And that is completely normal. But that is why parents of children with mild, fully recoverable injuries don't tend to populate these boards. Why would they?
My child has "only" needed one surgery. Truthfully, he still "needs" another one... but so far the options to help with what he still lacks would risk too much of what he already has, or are still too new for us to consider for his level of limitations. Please count yourself lucky that your child had a mild enough injury that she expects full or nearly full recovery without any help. Any of us whose children have had surgery would have gladly chosen that scenario for our kids.
Kate
I read your reply twice now because I didn't want to be upset by it, but to be honest I do feel "picked on." I was under the impression that this was a place I could come to and talk to other people who are going through a hard time as well. I didn't know that I wasn't particularly welcome here if my daughter's injury was on the mild side. I certainly didn't mean to sound like I was bragging that her injury is mild, or that she might not need surgery. We almost lost her when she born, she wasn't breathing and they had to do CPR on her to get her heart beating. I spent 3 days in a different hospital before I could even meet her and hold her. From the day we brought her home we have been doing nothing but taking her to PT, taking her to the neurologist, exercising her at home until none of us can take it anymore, all in the hopes that one day she will regain complete function of her arm. We spent weeks just watching her arm hang limply, hoping and praying that there was something we could do to help her. This is my first baby, and no matter how "mild" her injury is in comparison to others on this forum, it is still major to me. And when I posted about not planning on doing surgery, I was not trying to insinuate that parents always have a choice in the matter, or that it is in any way a bad choice to do surgery. If Lydia had an avulsion, we wouldn't even have thought twice about it. I would never judge another family for chosing what is best for their child, and I am sorry if you felt that way. I was just trying to be open and honest by saying that even if the Dr told us she would benefit from it, we decided we couldn't go through any more potential heartbreak right now. I am not "most parents," and I had sincerely planned on being involved in this network, even if/when Lydia makes a recovery. But to be honest, I am feeling a little bit attacked and will probably just try to find the support I need elsewhere. Thank you to everyone who gave me kind words of encouragement, I really do appreciate it. Good luck to you all.