Hi, I am a Right BPI and I weighed in at 11 lbs. 4oz., my husband weighed 10 lbs when he was born. I am very scared that with the chances of a large baby when we choose to have one it may end up with BPI. I live in a smaller town and don't think that if I go in there with the attitude of... I will have a C-section if my child is over 9 lbs or something, that they will support it. It really concerns me.
Also, one more concern... I am worried about holding and caring for a child. How will I carry everything around for the child when I can barely carry the child alone.
Any thoughts and help would be great. I have been dwelling on this since I am probably a year away from starting a family.
Will it happen to me? Mothers with BPI
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admin
- Site Admin
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jennyb
- Posts: 1183
- Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2001 5:24 pm
- Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: January 1980 Yamaha RD200 vs 16 wheeler truck, result, 1 totally paralysed right arm. I was 21, now 54. I had no surgery, I don't regret this. Decided to totally ignore limitations (easily done aged 21) adapted very quickly to one handed life, got married, had 3 kids, worked- the effect of the injury on my life (once the pain stopped being constant) was minimal and now, aged 54, I very rarely even think of it, unless I bash it or it gets cold, then I wish I'd had it amputated :) Except for a steering knob on my car, I have no adaptations to help with life, mainly because I honestly don't think of myself as disabled and the only thing I can't do is peel potatoes, which is definitely a good thing.
Re: Will it happen to me? Mothers with BPI
Traci, I am tbpi not obpi so did not share your very real concerns about the births of my babies. Maybe now is the time to start sounding out birthing caregivers as to what their policy will be if your prospective baby looks big. Most large babies are born without any problems, but that won't be much of a comfort to you if it means you spend your whole pregnancy worrying. Check out your options now, it's much easier to think these things through before those pregnancy hormones start to affect you-I became quite a different person when pregnant!
I have no use of my dominant right arm but have had 3 babies and managed fine. I had to do some things a bit differently, nappies (diapers) are quite a challenge, and once the little one realises you have limitations, boy do they exploit it-just today my 4 yr old refused to get into her car seat for 10 mins, she's too big for me to lift in with one arm so I depend on her cooperation-if she's in a stroppy mood then she can mess up my schedule quite a bit, bless her. My mum designed and made a carrying sling so I could easily lift my newborns without their head dangling too much, one of the guys from the tbpi group is now using it in Scotland, that sling is 15 yrs old and still going strong! When the time comes I'll be glad to share how to make one. You'll find you'll adapt to parenting, it was something I worried about from the moment I found out my tbpi was permanent, but my fears were not realised and I feel a great sense of achievement looking at my big kids and thinking about the steep learning curve caring for them put me into.
I didn't feel so great this morning when Ella sat down on the footpath and refused to get into the car, like every parent I face challenges, mine are just a little different.
I know Kathleen is a mum and a grandma too, she's bound to have some little pointers to help you out. I've been thinking for a while we need some bpi parenting resources, maybe I'll start putting something together.
All the best Traci, it's good you're thinking about this stuff now :0)
I have no use of my dominant right arm but have had 3 babies and managed fine. I had to do some things a bit differently, nappies (diapers) are quite a challenge, and once the little one realises you have limitations, boy do they exploit it-just today my 4 yr old refused to get into her car seat for 10 mins, she's too big for me to lift in with one arm so I depend on her cooperation-if she's in a stroppy mood then she can mess up my schedule quite a bit, bless her. My mum designed and made a carrying sling so I could easily lift my newborns without their head dangling too much, one of the guys from the tbpi group is now using it in Scotland, that sling is 15 yrs old and still going strong! When the time comes I'll be glad to share how to make one. You'll find you'll adapt to parenting, it was something I worried about from the moment I found out my tbpi was permanent, but my fears were not realised and I feel a great sense of achievement looking at my big kids and thinking about the steep learning curve caring for them put me into.
I didn't feel so great this morning when Ella sat down on the footpath and refused to get into the car, like every parent I face challenges, mine are just a little different.
I know Kathleen is a mum and a grandma too, she's bound to have some little pointers to help you out. I've been thinking for a while we need some bpi parenting resources, maybe I'll start putting something together.
All the best Traci, it's good you're thinking about this stuff now :0)
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Karen Hillyer
- Posts: 562
- Joined: Fri Sep 06, 2002 1:36 pm
Re: Will it happen to me? Mothers with BPI
Hi Traci
I think you are very sensible to try and plan ahead for your labour and delivery.
With both you and your husband being above average weights when you were born, there is a very high chance that when you become pregnant, your baby will also be higher than average weight.
Most babies follow a genetically predisposed pattern for birthweight, usually about the weight the mother was, so for example I weighed in at 7 lbs and my first baby weighed 6lbs 10 oz - which was great.
My husbands family all weighed over 9.5 lbs at birth and mother nature threw a spanner in the works with my second child and he weighed 11lbs - so with you being higher than average weight, you are more likely to have a larger than average weight baby.
I gleaned all this information from a tv programme about genetics and birth weights, I wish I had videotaped it, it was so interesting.
Anyway, just because you have a large baby doesn't necessarily mean you WILL have a baby with obpi, it all depends on how the birth is managed. You may decied to try for a vaginal birth, in which case you can have ultrasound scans to estimate the baby's size up to 36 weeks which are quite accurate, ( to about
+/-10%) obviously then if your baby is very large you may consider having a c-section.
What I would say is that it's very important to make sure your care giver during pregnancy and delivery is fully aware of both your birthweights and your obpi,
and is well versed in the hospitals shoulder dystocia drill, should you decide on a vaginal delivery.
Shoulder dystocia tends to run in families, so if you have any sisters or cousins who have also suffered a shoulder dystocia, make sure you give your care giver the details.
I know what you mean about going in with an attitude of " I MUST have a c section or else" - it would probably be counterproductive, but I am sure that if you ask all the right questions about how many shoulder dystocia deliveries they have handled, how many have resulted in Obpi's, how many of the obpi's got better, then I am sure that they will realise that you have done your research and they will be more prepared to discuss the delivery openly and honestly
with you.
This is a VERY common problem over here in the UK, Obstetricians can be VERY dismissive of a womans concernes about delivery and shoulder dystocia, and they seem to have a real downer on c sections here, but as soon as a woman starts asking about shoulder dystocia drills and incidence rates, they seem to get alarm bells ringing and it's surprising how they then take the womans concerns seriously!
I hope this has been helpful sorry for the length
Good Luck
Karen
I think you are very sensible to try and plan ahead for your labour and delivery.
With both you and your husband being above average weights when you were born, there is a very high chance that when you become pregnant, your baby will also be higher than average weight.
Most babies follow a genetically predisposed pattern for birthweight, usually about the weight the mother was, so for example I weighed in at 7 lbs and my first baby weighed 6lbs 10 oz - which was great.
My husbands family all weighed over 9.5 lbs at birth and mother nature threw a spanner in the works with my second child and he weighed 11lbs - so with you being higher than average weight, you are more likely to have a larger than average weight baby.
I gleaned all this information from a tv programme about genetics and birth weights, I wish I had videotaped it, it was so interesting.
Anyway, just because you have a large baby doesn't necessarily mean you WILL have a baby with obpi, it all depends on how the birth is managed. You may decied to try for a vaginal birth, in which case you can have ultrasound scans to estimate the baby's size up to 36 weeks which are quite accurate, ( to about
+/-10%) obviously then if your baby is very large you may consider having a c-section.
What I would say is that it's very important to make sure your care giver during pregnancy and delivery is fully aware of both your birthweights and your obpi,
and is well versed in the hospitals shoulder dystocia drill, should you decide on a vaginal delivery.
Shoulder dystocia tends to run in families, so if you have any sisters or cousins who have also suffered a shoulder dystocia, make sure you give your care giver the details.
I know what you mean about going in with an attitude of " I MUST have a c section or else" - it would probably be counterproductive, but I am sure that if you ask all the right questions about how many shoulder dystocia deliveries they have handled, how many have resulted in Obpi's, how many of the obpi's got better, then I am sure that they will realise that you have done your research and they will be more prepared to discuss the delivery openly and honestly
with you.
This is a VERY common problem over here in the UK, Obstetricians can be VERY dismissive of a womans concernes about delivery and shoulder dystocia, and they seem to have a real downer on c sections here, but as soon as a woman starts asking about shoulder dystocia drills and incidence rates, they seem to get alarm bells ringing and it's surprising how they then take the womans concerns seriously!
I hope this has been helpful sorry for the length
Good Luck
Karen
Re: Will it happen to me? Mothers with BPI
Traci
Jenny has given you some very good advice about preparing for pregnancy. I was not aware when I became pregnant that I could run into any difficulty. Little was explained to me except this injury was to save my life and my Mom had lost two before me to birth injury. I was so innocent then. I asked if it was something for me to worry about and was assured it was not... In my case that was not true! My first child was SD she weighed only 8lb. 3 oz. and I gained only 13 lbs. All three of my children were high forceps delivery. I had all the risk factors for my first they had to fracture my tailbone to deliver. I have since learned that many mistakes were made with the way they followed my pregnancy and delivery . My mother and all her sisters had babies over 9 lbs many in the ten and 11 lb area. I was 11 lb 14 oz. – I am the only one with obpi. I am short that is one of the risk factors.
Read this page on Risk Factors http://ubpn.org/awareness/A2002riskfactors.html be and informed consumer the key to safe delivery is knowledge. My daughter who has very large babies had three with some/all of the risk factors and when the last was born I haunted her about talking to her doctor... When she spoke to him... He immediately replied with all of the many different options he would use to deliver the baby safely... She delivered a 9lb.9oz. baby safely and without any stitches (so it can be done with the right doctors/midwives) help. I was so worried about her because all of her babies are very large and she is very small... So your baby can be delivered without OBPI and you should be educated and not afraid to ask hard questions of your doctor and expect immediate answers... If he has to look it up in a book... check out... he should know the procedures off the top of his head... You must be very knowledgeable about the risk factors involved with obpi and then make your choices and be prepared to be a bit flexible also. But please don't be afraid to have children or let this injury prevent you from having children. This INJURY not something that is inherited it is a preventable injury.
I have three children my first two are 14 month apart. I never worried how I was going to do it and never realized how I just automatically adapted my self to supporting my baby... I sat with my baby in my lap head resting on bpi arm that was supported by my knee... had my foot up on the chair... looks a bit silly but it worked... and when I fed my first grandchild when she switched to a bottle my kids noticed it .... It never dawned on them how different I am-- they never noticed... Sometimes it was hard with two kids so close but hey it’s hard on any mother with kids so close... My babies were big all were about 16 lbs at ten weeks and at least 25 lbs at a year... So getting them to get into car seats was lots of fun but you just have to allow for the time as Jenny said.... When they sat down and refused to move... I pretended I was leaving with out them... stepped over them and kept walk... I did the same thing for temper tantrums…. LOL… they caught up very fast... LOL... till they got old enough to realize I would not leave without them... LOL...
I have 4 grandchildren 8, 5 and two 20 month old girls... That is a problem for me now... lifting the girls... having both on my lap at the same time... I realized after reading your post that I sat on the floor a lot with my kids so I did not worry about dropping them ... I sit on the floor with my grandchildren and let them climb all over me and I don't have to worry about dropping them. They of course love it because I am so close to them.... I assumed that everyone did this until someone pointed out to me – how I sit to feed the kids and play on the floor all the time… it was a natural compensation for me…
I never thought anyone noticed… My friend just said she thought it was unusual to feed the baby that way but never connected it to my arm and never realized how little use I had until now… We have been friends since we were teenagers.
Lifting… Jenny will bear me out on this one… lift your children… hug and carry you children… leave the playpens and other equipment for others to lift for you. Get a baby sling it saves on the back… don’t carry those car travel seats that click out of the car… use a light stroller and most of all don’t be afraid or to proud to ask for help its OK…
Save your “unaffected arm – neck and back” You have the advantage of others here who are long term bpi injured and we know eventually overuse hits all of us… So where possible don’t abuse your unaffected arm and don’t be so independent that you wear it out… It is important to take care of the unaffected arm while you are still young…
Make your plan... have your babies and enjoy them... I enjoyed mine and did not realize that I was any different then my friends... only that my kids were closer in age... LOL.
Now Jenny does bribery work with Ella anymore? My granddaughters Katie & Megan are both 20 months and they just sit down like wet noodles if they don’t want to do something…. That’s when I am glad I am the grandmother and don’t have to fight anymore to get the kids moving… It looks quite cute to me…. LOL…. But I am only the grandmother… LOL and to me it looks like pay back….
Kath
Jenny has given you some very good advice about preparing for pregnancy. I was not aware when I became pregnant that I could run into any difficulty. Little was explained to me except this injury was to save my life and my Mom had lost two before me to birth injury. I was so innocent then. I asked if it was something for me to worry about and was assured it was not... In my case that was not true! My first child was SD she weighed only 8lb. 3 oz. and I gained only 13 lbs. All three of my children were high forceps delivery. I had all the risk factors for my first they had to fracture my tailbone to deliver. I have since learned that many mistakes were made with the way they followed my pregnancy and delivery . My mother and all her sisters had babies over 9 lbs many in the ten and 11 lb area. I was 11 lb 14 oz. – I am the only one with obpi. I am short that is one of the risk factors.
Read this page on Risk Factors http://ubpn.org/awareness/A2002riskfactors.html be and informed consumer the key to safe delivery is knowledge. My daughter who has very large babies had three with some/all of the risk factors and when the last was born I haunted her about talking to her doctor... When she spoke to him... He immediately replied with all of the many different options he would use to deliver the baby safely... She delivered a 9lb.9oz. baby safely and without any stitches (so it can be done with the right doctors/midwives) help. I was so worried about her because all of her babies are very large and she is very small... So your baby can be delivered without OBPI and you should be educated and not afraid to ask hard questions of your doctor and expect immediate answers... If he has to look it up in a book... check out... he should know the procedures off the top of his head... You must be very knowledgeable about the risk factors involved with obpi and then make your choices and be prepared to be a bit flexible also. But please don't be afraid to have children or let this injury prevent you from having children. This INJURY not something that is inherited it is a preventable injury.
I have three children my first two are 14 month apart. I never worried how I was going to do it and never realized how I just automatically adapted my self to supporting my baby... I sat with my baby in my lap head resting on bpi arm that was supported by my knee... had my foot up on the chair... looks a bit silly but it worked... and when I fed my first grandchild when she switched to a bottle my kids noticed it .... It never dawned on them how different I am-- they never noticed... Sometimes it was hard with two kids so close but hey it’s hard on any mother with kids so close... My babies were big all were about 16 lbs at ten weeks and at least 25 lbs at a year... So getting them to get into car seats was lots of fun but you just have to allow for the time as Jenny said.... When they sat down and refused to move... I pretended I was leaving with out them... stepped over them and kept walk... I did the same thing for temper tantrums…. LOL… they caught up very fast... LOL... till they got old enough to realize I would not leave without them... LOL...
I have 4 grandchildren 8, 5 and two 20 month old girls... That is a problem for me now... lifting the girls... having both on my lap at the same time... I realized after reading your post that I sat on the floor a lot with my kids so I did not worry about dropping them ... I sit on the floor with my grandchildren and let them climb all over me and I don't have to worry about dropping them. They of course love it because I am so close to them.... I assumed that everyone did this until someone pointed out to me – how I sit to feed the kids and play on the floor all the time… it was a natural compensation for me…
I never thought anyone noticed… My friend just said she thought it was unusual to feed the baby that way but never connected it to my arm and never realized how little use I had until now… We have been friends since we were teenagers.
Lifting… Jenny will bear me out on this one… lift your children… hug and carry you children… leave the playpens and other equipment for others to lift for you. Get a baby sling it saves on the back… don’t carry those car travel seats that click out of the car… use a light stroller and most of all don’t be afraid or to proud to ask for help its OK…
Save your “unaffected arm – neck and back” You have the advantage of others here who are long term bpi injured and we know eventually overuse hits all of us… So where possible don’t abuse your unaffected arm and don’t be so independent that you wear it out… It is important to take care of the unaffected arm while you are still young…
Make your plan... have your babies and enjoy them... I enjoyed mine and did not realize that I was any different then my friends... only that my kids were closer in age... LOL.
Now Jenny does bribery work with Ella anymore? My granddaughters Katie & Megan are both 20 months and they just sit down like wet noodles if they don’t want to do something…. That’s when I am glad I am the grandmother and don’t have to fight anymore to get the kids moving… It looks quite cute to me…. LOL…. But I am only the grandmother… LOL and to me it looks like pay back….
Kath
Re: Will it happen to me? Mothers with BPI
Traci - I read your post with interest because I worry about things like this for both of my daughters. I have a list of questions on my site that may or may not be helpful. Thanks for posting this. The responses are great and are savers!
http://www.injurednewborn.com
look for the link for doctors questions
http://www.injurednewborn.com
look for the link for doctors questions
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jennyb
- Posts: 1183
- Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2001 5:24 pm
- Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: January 1980 Yamaha RD200 vs 16 wheeler truck, result, 1 totally paralysed right arm. I was 21, now 54. I had no surgery, I don't regret this. Decided to totally ignore limitations (easily done aged 21) adapted very quickly to one handed life, got married, had 3 kids, worked- the effect of the injury on my life (once the pain stopped being constant) was minimal and now, aged 54, I very rarely even think of it, unless I bash it or it gets cold, then I wish I'd had it amputated :) Except for a steering knob on my car, I have no adaptations to help with life, mainly because I honestly don't think of myself as disabled and the only thing I can't do is peel potatoes, which is definitely a good thing.
Re: Will it happen to me? Mothers with BPI
Kath, sitting on the floor-I'd forgotten that! I did EVERTHING on the floor, it's just much safer with a bpi mum. I found breastfeeding much easier than bottle, my hand could hold the baby rather than the bottle, but as you said I used to get into some weird contortions with feet on table etc etc
Ella is a bit too keen on bribery so I'm trying to stop it, it got to the stage where she wouldn't even think about getting dressed until she'd seen the bribe, it took 9 squares of chocolate to wash her hair......lolol! I too do the 'I'm leaving without you' routine but she's smart enough as you say to know I won't. My cousin is a child psychologist and he said these are 'cotrol' issues, ie Ella wants to be more in control and by refusing to cooperate she's controlling me. The solution is to let her control the small stuff ie, Ella, shall we put on the pink dress or the blue one? Rather than, Ella, shall we get dressed? Do you want your car seat on the left or right, or in front with mummy (this is probably bad, don't tell me about it if it is, it's saved many a delayed journey!) rather than 'Ella, please get in your car seat'
Of course, all this stuff is in parenting books but unfortunately no 4 yr old I ever met has read them so these well thought out psychological ploys often fail, it's a learning curve. If I lose control completely I sometimes resort to crying (apparently very bad but I can't help how I feel) which worries her enough to make her comply, sometimes.
If any of you expert parents out there have any tips to do with dealing with wilful, wriggly, heavy little girls one handed, please post them!
Kath, I've been thinking for a while about getting together a resource for bpi parents, how about trying to remember some more of those little tricks that got you through? Meanwhile, here's how I bathed my babies safely with one hand......http://tbpiukgroup.homestead.com/baby_bath_bucket.html
Ella is a bit too keen on bribery so I'm trying to stop it, it got to the stage where she wouldn't even think about getting dressed until she'd seen the bribe, it took 9 squares of chocolate to wash her hair......lolol! I too do the 'I'm leaving without you' routine but she's smart enough as you say to know I won't. My cousin is a child psychologist and he said these are 'cotrol' issues, ie Ella wants to be more in control and by refusing to cooperate she's controlling me. The solution is to let her control the small stuff ie, Ella, shall we put on the pink dress or the blue one? Rather than, Ella, shall we get dressed? Do you want your car seat on the left or right, or in front with mummy (this is probably bad, don't tell me about it if it is, it's saved many a delayed journey!) rather than 'Ella, please get in your car seat'
Of course, all this stuff is in parenting books but unfortunately no 4 yr old I ever met has read them so these well thought out psychological ploys often fail, it's a learning curve. If I lose control completely I sometimes resort to crying (apparently very bad but I can't help how I feel) which worries her enough to make her comply, sometimes.
If any of you expert parents out there have any tips to do with dealing with wilful, wriggly, heavy little girls one handed, please post them!
Kath, I've been thinking for a while about getting together a resource for bpi parents, how about trying to remember some more of those little tricks that got you through? Meanwhile, here's how I bathed my babies safely with one hand......http://tbpiukgroup.homestead.com/baby_bath_bucket.html
Re: Will it happen to me? Mothers with BPI
Jenny - you're not going to believe this but I recently puchased a bucket for a friend who just had a baby. It's a special bucket with a rounded bottom and actually the thing about it is that you're support to bathe the baby daily in this to give them "womb time". I know it may sound silly but the way it was described sounded so comforting and soothing for the baby. It's called a Tummy Tub..
http://www.childbirthedu.com/g105.htm
http://www.childbirthedu.com/g105.htm
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jennyb
- Posts: 1183
- Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2001 5:24 pm
- Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: January 1980 Yamaha RD200 vs 16 wheeler truck, result, 1 totally paralysed right arm. I was 21, now 54. I had no surgery, I don't regret this. Decided to totally ignore limitations (easily done aged 21) adapted very quickly to one handed life, got married, had 3 kids, worked- the effect of the injury on my life (once the pain stopped being constant) was minimal and now, aged 54, I very rarely even think of it, unless I bash it or it gets cold, then I wish I'd had it amputated :) Except for a steering knob on my car, I have no adaptations to help with life, mainly because I honestly don't think of myself as disabled and the only thing I can't do is peel potatoes, which is definitely a good thing.
Re: Will it happen to me? Mothers with BPI
I would believe it Francine-there's a link to the tummy tub site on the link I posted! The Dutch have used these for years.....I could have made a killing.... :0)
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admin
- Site Admin
- Posts: 19873
- Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 9:59 pm
Re: Will it happen to me? Mothers with BPI
Thank you all so much, it makes me feel so much better to know you're all there and I have people to turn to who can truly relate.
I don't want to think what life would be like if there wasn't any message boards.
Thanks again. More than you'll ever know.
I don't want to think what life would be like if there wasn't any message boards.
Thanks again. More than you'll ever know.
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Judy-T
- Posts: 557
- Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2001 11:59 am
- Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: Right arm OBPI One surgery at age 40 Ulnar nerve retransposition
- Location: Florida
Re: Will it happen to me? Mothers with BPI
I am robpi and I was scared when I was pregnant also. I did not have the fear about having a bpi kid because I did not know much about my condition back then. I was worried how i would hold my baby. Everything worked out great .If there is a will there is a way.She is 10 now. I did have a c-section because she got stuck.I know how you are feeling ,but you will do just fine....Judy