Anxiety issues

[Allison-S]

Hey everyone, it's been awhile since I posted, everything has been going smoothly for Bradley up until awhile ago. He seems to be suffering from anxiety related to school.I got a call from the nurse to pick him up today with no specific physical issues. He had a major meltdown this morning getting him ready to go. I literally had to drag him to the car. He went to the nurses office 2x's today,which is unlike him. He's very shy. Upon disscussing what was going on at school, he just said he has a hard time leaving me, that it's too loud in the class room, and that he is nervous. I have scheduled an apt. with a counselor to get to the root of this. He gets himself so worked up to the point of sweating and panic. I talked with his teacher, she didnt pick up on anything specific, he gets along with the other children, has friends, and is doing well academically. I'm at a loss. Has anyone else gone through anxiety issues with their kiddo's? If so do you have any coping techniques I could try with him?

[Carolyn J]

2 Thoughts for you to consider...check into (I can't remember if your dear son has SEnsory Intergration problems?.)..has he had any classmates tease him or comment about his injured side?...do you have/ had a an 504 or IEP/ or assessment for learning disabilities? The recess and lunch hour play ground times were scary times for me growing up 'cause i had no friends or buddy in my classes to play with....have you ever dropped by at those times and just observed your son?

I hope this helps.
Hugs
"Gramma" Carolyn J age 71

[marieke]

I had severe school anxiety in elementary school, so much so I would fake sick to stay home. It culminated in my being taken out of school in grade 7 and given psych evals/IQ evals as I had started failing everything when before I had done well. I ended up switching schools and did better there though I still had moments where school just gave me butterflies and a nervous tummy.

Talk to a counselor/psychologist and don't stop until you get to the bottom of it and find a way to help him. I love my parents but they ignored it for years until it got so bad I nearly ended up in the hospital with a nervous breakdown at age 13.

[Carolyn J]

Thank you Marieke for being forthright on this issue too. I had a very painful emotional school experience too and can remember begging the nun teacher to stay inside at recess..my mother asked them to help me tough it out to toughen me up but it was terrible. I had stomache problems alll thru grade school and never could tell anybody. I was told "it's all in my head".
Do to a lifetime of "Stuffing" and doing everything to fit in, at menopause I had a serious breakdown and only with years of counselling and meds did i get relief...BUT it was when I found a "name", Erb's Palsy and LOBPI AND UBPN in 2004 did total relief and healing began for me(age 66). When I attended Camp 2005 and met other adults, it was like a huge boulder lifted off of me...it was very emotional for me and I had to retreat to my room many times. Camp 2007 was a Blast for me because I was never allowed to go to camp as a child. I just love all of my adopted "Grands" that i've come to own and know. Thank you moms for letting me adopt your Treasures as my "Grands"! I can't wait until October to see how they have grown.
off my soap box now...lol
"Gramma" Carolyn J

[KimW]

Hi Allison --

We have been dealing with this for a couple of years. My daughter's anxiety only really occurs at test time. She does excellent on regular classroom work and home work but gets awful test grades. Teachers would just say it was test anxiety because she knows the information. I asked her and she said the noises would drive her nuts -- she said little things like kids laughing or whispering or the scratch of a pencil on paper. We had her pulled for test taking and although her test scores improved she hated being pulled from class. It's gotten so she hates testing days and always tries to be sick on those days.

I'm wondering if his nervousness stems from a certain classroom event -- speaking up in class, a test, something else that makes him nervous. If you do find ways to deal, please share -- I would love to have some ideas myself.

[hope16_05]

Kim, any chance your kiddo can wear ear plugs so she is not getting all that outside noise? It really bugs me too. I never get any homework done at school, I cant way too many noises!!!!

Just a thought.
Amy 23 ROBPI from MN

[Karenw3]

Hi Alison, I remember meeting you the first time we took our daughter Grace to TCH when she was about 5 months old. I think her and Bradley were about the same age at the time. She is now almost 8 and is doing fairly well. BUT we did have some major issues with seperation anxiety beginning right before kindergarten. She had gone to preschool and done well, but all of the sudden started having a very difficult time leaving me. It was at school mostly, but also ocurred other times. I could not drop her off for anything like dance class, b-day party, etc. She would have almost a panic attack unless I agreed to stay. She could go in to her dance class, but needed me to sit in the waiting area of the dance center and not leave. She was deathly afraid of me not coming back to pick her up even though I could not think of a time where she would have gotten that idea. These anxiety issues continued through first grade, but have diminished a lot in 2nd grade. We ended up seeing a counselor once a week for about a year. After hearing about Grace's medical background --LOBPI, allergy issues, etc. , our counselor really felt that Grace's anxiety was a product of her injury. She felt that a lot of what Grace went through early on with her injury contributed to a feeling of loss of control--the world for her was full of things that she had no control over and this predisposed her to some different anxiety disorders. One thing that has worked well for Grace is we have taught her some coping strategies such as "relaxation techniques". She knows that when she starts to feel anxious or fearful , she can do some relaxation breathing ( like breathing slowly while counting to 5) .and saying calming words over and over. We have had to use this at bedtime and in the middle of the night some and she claims it works for her. The counseling was helpful as well and gave her an outlet to discuss things that she might not discuss with us. Hope Bradley can find some relief. I know how difficult it is as a parent to deal with this on a daily basis.

[Allison-S]

Thank you all for your wonderful input. Karen, I have the cutest picture of Bradley and Grace in their car seats. I'll have to scan it and send it to you♥ Gosh they were so little.
Bradley was seen by the school guidance counselor last week. She had a nice chat with him about what it is that's giving him stress. The main thing was seperation from me, and my being in school. He said I'm not able to spend enough time with him because I'm studying all the time. Talk about feeling like a horrible mom. UGH, well it's my last semester, I'm done in May, and I did this for my family. Luckily I have a job lined up in the Heart Unit as an RN. Funny thing is, Bradley is already having anxiety and asking me what hours I will be working. Yikes! Maybe I was to overprotective when he was little and havent provided him with the skills needed to cope in life because I was always there to help and protect him. I know I raised him differently than my daughter Kalista now 11, she's a spit fire ready to take on any challenge. Bradley on the other hand has so many fears. My father gets mad at me for treating him like a baby and said he needs to be toughened up. Easy for him to say, he didnt have to fly toTexas four times, and have to deal with splint and casts, and fear of ruining all that was repaired. It's such a difficult balance raising kids. The breathing technique and facing the stress issues head-on seem to be working for Bradley. I can sense his stress coming on, so we talk things through and come up with a reasonable solution as to what it is and why he is feeling stressed. I hope things will ease up for Bradley, he's just to young to be dealing with stressors yet. I will keep everyone posted. Again, thanks for all the great advice!

[marieke]

I am glad that you managed to get to the bottom of it.

When you do start working, make sure he knows your schedule so there are no surprises. Congrats on finishing school soon and becoming an RN!
(I graduated 2 years ago )

[Carolyn J]

I am sooo happy for you and Bradley both!!!! Keep him talking ...don't let him "stuff" and he'll be a healthy boy, trust me.
Mother Guilt is part of our make-up and you will find your own strategy to deal with that I have no doubt. Sounds like you have a great school counsellor as your ally too. Between the 2 of you you'll do fine and...CONGRATULATIONS Allison on your RN and new job. Don't be afraid to share with Bradley that "Mommys get stressed too, sometimes and just talking to him helps YOU too". I did that and it has helped Scott (my son) alot.

HUGS,
"Gramma" Carolyn J/71