Post Surgery Ugly Comment VENT

[Kathleen]

I agree with everyone... Someone just said "Why do I move my arm THAT way" I said it was a birth injury....
the response from the clod was/////////xlxkxlkjxkjl

Yep! I've seen lots of deformed babies like you!!!!!

I again said ....no it was a birth injury....she repeated herself....

Through year of training I learned that clods like that are not worth my energy.... also the kids misunderstand the adults anger.... and think its their fault that a clod upset their mom...
So Moms you are right not to give into to the urge to smack the clods of this world... stay calm... talk away from the kids... tell the kids that the person was rude , cruel and ignorant...let them know it was wrong to to make remarks or call attention to them... but keep your calm...
It is a lesson we need as obpi to carry all our lives... if we lost it with every clod we would fight our way through life instead of looking at them for who they really are.... ignorant rude people....

Now can I have the telephone of the CLOWN I need to give him a piece of my mind while I still have some left... Have a good day girls...
Kath

[Pam & Parker]

Francine...those comments just shock me. It is really hard to understand. When Parker had his SOL splint...and even now with just his wrist splint...I get many comments from people who imply I "let" my child get injured. That really bothers me. It's like they think I'm not a good mom. I really like the idea of making people like that apologize. Teaches your child good behavior at the same time. Sweet Maia...
Pam

[admin]

Francine,
I'm really sorry you guys went through that, I would call the clown and then call his boss, those clowns are hired out by a company i would find out who and call them too... i know anna got lots of looks & comments last month while she was in the splint.
as for the t-shirts, sounds like a good idea to me..
marg & anna

[admin]

Same hear sorry about what they said. I get the same thing when Thomas was in his brace after primary and when he wears his wrist splint people make me feel like I did some thing to hurt him. He's to young to have a broke arm and then you try to explain what happen but I've give up at this point it hurts..And the sad thing is Thomas is not old enough to understand yet I dread the day when he gets his feelings hurt then mother bear will come out. Take care carron

[Debbie]

Francine, Hi. I agree with what everyone has said, and hope Maia feels better. Let us know when we can order t-shirts, and awareness cards!!!
Take Care,
Debbie

[francine]

they are already on line....here at ubpn...

ubpn.org/awareness

check out the EVERYTHING page and you will find them there...

t-shirts? well I have dino t-shirts...they just aren't as brash as what I suggested before!

-francine

[Kathleen]

Francine

Don't let the bad clowns get you or Maia....

But call his boss... They need to know if they have insensitive clods...working for them....
Embarassing a child is ...not just rude...it is hurtful and this person needs to be made Aware.... send a packet of Awareness to the company that supplies these people to work parties....

Or .... well I won't say what I am thinking....LOL
Kath

[TNT1999]

Hi, Francine. I'm sorry for what you and Maia went through. That is totally uncalled for. I hope that you will get in touch with the magician and let him know that this is not acceptable so that it doesn't happen in the future. We've gotten some comments already too and many stares, but we haven't been out too much b/c Nicole is still sick and now I am too.

I printed up some Awareness cards. Actually, I typed them myself in Microsoft Word so that I could fit 10 / page to print onto business card paper stock (I copied them word for word from the Awareness info.). If that format is easier for you, I'd be glad to send you a copy of the file and save you a few minutes of work. Let me know. I handed out my first one today to the manager at the photo place. (She must know more about our family than most people!!) She thanked me and said that she couldn't remember what I'd told her it was called. She has a genuine interest / concern for Nicole b/c she lost part of a finger in an accident.

I agree with some of the other comments that people want to make an "uncomfortable" situation more comfortable by making a joke -- even though it ends up being at someone else's expense. As someone else wrote, the jokes by people you know are the worst! I still hear some jokes in my mind from when Nicole was in the SOL splint. That 6 weeks really made my heart go out to people who have a very visible disability / cast, etc. on a more long-term basis. I once asked the ? on here about what's the best way to approach people like that and with others' comments here combined with our real life Mod Quad splint experience, this is what I have concluded. I make it a point to say hello or at least make friendly eye contact. If I say anything more, I might comment on something positive about the child that has nothing to do with the wheelchair or any other visible signs of the disability. You see what I learned in my short-lived (and about to re-live) experience was that it gets so tiring when you meet strangers or see people you know and all anyone says has something to do with the splint, etc. I want to say, please talk about something else b/c there's so much more to my wonderful daughter!!

I was wondering if Maia is still wearing her bracelet? If not, I think that will help. You see, people feel the need to acknowledge the splint. I found right away that some people commented on Nicole's pretty bracelet (thank you!!). I know they were thinking about the splint, but there was something visual that could help them re-direct and not seem to be staring at the splint, but at the bracelet instead. It really works wonders!! (interrupt -- guess what, the woman / oxygen commercial just came on -- too cute) I'm also working on decorating Nicole's straps. I know she'll have a shirt on most of the time, but this is really a long-term commitment. I sized all the extra set of straps and pads. Tonight I put some iron-on patches on the front 3 straps and on the arm strap. My Mom gave me the patches and some fabric paint that I'm going to use too. I'm glad that I got 2 sets of material from TCH. I think that all the decorations will help with the comments too. I'm also hoping that people won't "feel so badly" for Nicole too by making the splint look pretty. Well, sorry for the book. I hope this helps. -T

[AK1999]

Magician: Hey Little Girl Do you have a question?
Maia: Yeah buddy, is that a magic wand in your hand or the ugly stick you were beaten with?

Magician: Hey Little Girl Do you have a question?
Maia at 21: Is that a rabbit in your pocket or are you just happy to see Siegfried and Roy?

Magician: Hey Little Girl Do you have a question?
Maia: "dummysaywhat?"
Magician: What?

[marymom]

oh man, I wish I had been there(youre prolly better off that I wasnt tho)
ugh
what can you do tho- cry and get past it-
this too shall pass
hang in there sweetie-