Hi Sweet Ladies...
It is like smelling a morning rose just after the sun has washed it's light's morning sun, to communicate and share all of my experiences. For the last 22 years...I have journeyed alone, with the complexities of this injury and all that must be managed. I had two ladies through a medical data base that the hospital located for me shortly after my accident. One lady did not want to communicate at all, the other lady we spoke for about 10 years. Then one day I called her and her mom said she went into a long term care facility. It broke my heart. After that time...I immersed myself in raising my three children and growing all the talents I had been given and maybe never used. The pain was accepted as something to endure. It is not who I am. But it is the fuel that drives all of my passions and productivity. Not exactly sure when it really happened. I have been busy...I have 100's of things that bring me joy. Just to mention a few. The morning sunrise, hummingbirds, birds singing, trees swaying,water trickling,children laughing, sun shining through the clouds, classical music, philosophy,research on various cultures and healing techniques. Laughter for myself. Pray. Powerful positive, productive thinking. Helping other, my favorite healing scents. Lavender, magnolia, lilles, roses, fressia, etc...My dog, my kids, my family, friends....Deep breathing, teaching myself how to knitt with one hand...I am doing it...love to give a lesson if anyone is interested
I Thank God many times a day...I show Gratitude often to others.
Loving myself for who I am, and who I am not. Loving everyone the same as myself.
This is how I recycle my pain everyday. I do not dwell upon it. I do not speak about it. For my theroy is if you speak about anything, you give it greater power and life. My pain is concealed. People see me wince in pain with the shock waves, or a rub my arm...to make it stop...I refuse to isolate myself in society. I speak and walk, live with ability. Many cannot see my arm...for I am bigger that it's lifeless/waxy appearance.
If there is someone who is uncomfortable with my arm, I smile and keep communicating. It is there issue, not mine. I refuse to change who I am, for those that believe, those that are not of perfect form are different or not worthy or able.
It is impossible to completely control the pain ..but I am close. I have learned to stop taking all strong pain med's in 2002. I have managed by the grace of God to train my own brain to release endorphines to help control or ease it. Dr's are amazed. This is done through quick meditations, visualizations and very deep cleansing breathes all at the same time. My own little geni in a bottle
Write more ladies...I am so happy to meet you all...
With Peace, Love & Light
Big Hugs
Mardelle
