what to do???
Re: what to do???
I think if you've gotten to the point of "puking" he really needs some talk time and to figure out what is going on. About every 2 months Katie gets sick and tired of "formal" therapy and the therapists have to switch gears if we want her to participate that day. And I beleive in strict parenting but to me that has nothing to do with an issue a 4 year old might have with therapy to this degree. Perhaps if he was offered a couple of choices about what to do during therapy once a week or so it would be easier on him. I get pretty sick of the routine myself having to go and do what someone else needs me to do 4 days a week, year in and year out but I am an adult and I understand the reasoning behind the process. Sometimes I too would like to say phooey with the stringing beads and having an adult on top of me showing me to push my weight a little harder on this side, now move forard just a bit, etc..-let's go to Mcdonald's and do some weight bearing in the crawling gym or choose a different game to play at therapy that day! I think once he has a choice, albeit small, in some of the decision he would be much more cooperative and the end result will be the same. Just my opinion and I can't always follow what I feel but I roll with the punches.
Re: what to do???
Thats always helpful in the longrun, rewarding a temper tantrum. Ashlie
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marymom
- Posts: 692
- Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2001 5:05 pm
- Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: Teen aged home birthed son with OBPI
- Location: Fort Pierce, FL
Re: what to do???
ok, ok, Im emailing you -hold your fire
Re: what to do???
Staycee, I am sorry if I offended you. This is only my opinion and by posting here isn't that what you asked for? I'm truly sorry if you were hurt.
I thought that this board was for discussions and being able to post how you feel. But it seems to me that it isn't what some want. I am getting emails being called names for what is my opinion. I guess I was better off before I came here to share with others. Ashlie
I thought that this board was for discussions and being able to post how you feel. But it seems to me that it isn't what some want. I am getting emails being called names for what is my opinion. I guess I was better off before I came here to share with others. Ashlie
Re: what to do???
Ashlie-
If a child upsets himself to the point of puking, a little talk time is hardly rewarding a temper tantrum. This is a serious conversation and flippant comments hurt the community, especially when your tone is sarcastic and you're commenting on others' parenting style, you've made quite clear what yours is, and were treated with respect, why won't you show some for others? Why is talking with your child about what they are upset about a reward?
As an adult with an OBPI I think its important to listen to your child's input about therapy, doctors, even surgery. Asking him what he thinks and feels is NOT the same as allowing him the decision of whether to go or not. I hated therapy, and my parents did make me go, and you know what?I really never saw any difference beginning to end. No, I don't resent my parents, they were doing what they thought was best, but maybe your child has an opinion you should take into consideration, no matter how old he is, he's still a person, and he knows a lot about his injury that you don't.
Carrie
If a child upsets himself to the point of puking, a little talk time is hardly rewarding a temper tantrum. This is a serious conversation and flippant comments hurt the community, especially when your tone is sarcastic and you're commenting on others' parenting style, you've made quite clear what yours is, and were treated with respect, why won't you show some for others? Why is talking with your child about what they are upset about a reward?
As an adult with an OBPI I think its important to listen to your child's input about therapy, doctors, even surgery. Asking him what he thinks and feels is NOT the same as allowing him the decision of whether to go or not. I hated therapy, and my parents did make me go, and you know what?I really never saw any difference beginning to end. No, I don't resent my parents, they were doing what they thought was best, but maybe your child has an opinion you should take into consideration, no matter how old he is, he's still a person, and he knows a lot about his injury that you don't.
Carrie
Re: what to do???
I've been treated with respect? The emails that I have recieved about MY OPINION are respectful? I was not trying to put MY views on anyone here. I, like YOU, am posting MY OPINION. You can take it or leave it. As can I when it comes to others. I am not and was not angry, sarcastic or whatever you chose to call it. Maybe you and whoever else SAYS I am angry should step back and look at themselves before judging me. This is a message board, people ask for opinions. No one said you have to take anyones advice. And no one said that you have to always agree with each other.
I thought this was going to be a good place to express my thoughts and feelings the same as you all are doing. I guess I was wrong, very few of you actually want someones opinion. Surely not someone's opinion that disagrees with your own. Life is not a bowl of cherries....and I am not going to pretend it is and agree with someone just for the heck of it. I am a very truthful person and well I guess sometimes the truth hurts huh. Ashlie
I thought this was going to be a good place to express my thoughts and feelings the same as you all are doing. I guess I was wrong, very few of you actually want someones opinion. Surely not someone's opinion that disagrees with your own. Life is not a bowl of cherries....and I am not going to pretend it is and agree with someone just for the heck of it. I am a very truthful person and well I guess sometimes the truth hurts huh. Ashlie
Re: what to do???
Nobody can see your face or hear your voice when you post - that's the problem with internet communication on message boards. So it's very hard to tell if your posts are true from the heart or attacks.
In my email to you I asked you if I was 'reading' your posts correctly. I also asked you if you were angry about something because I felt that anger was coming through in your posts. I'm sorry that someone else may have emailed you and called you names - that's really uncalled for.
ALL opinions are welcome but since we don't get the full picture of how you are saying things - you should know that some things might be coming across as hurtful.
respectfully,
francine
In my email to you I asked you if I was 'reading' your posts correctly. I also asked you if you were angry about something because I felt that anger was coming through in your posts. I'm sorry that someone else may have emailed you and called you names - that's really uncalled for.
ALL opinions are welcome but since we don't get the full picture of how you are saying things - you should know that some things might be coming across as hurtful.
respectfully,
francine
Re: what to do???
Hi Carrie,
I was wondering about that. Not noticing any difference from begining to end. Sometimes I wonder if Michael feels any better or worse after therapy is over. When he was younger his other therapist mostly did Myofacial realease for an hour. He always said he felt much better after we left. Now I am not so sure. He has bulked up considerably and has gotten stronger and thats good, but again I have often wondered if there is a difference for him.
Patty
I was wondering about that. Not noticing any difference from begining to end. Sometimes I wonder if Michael feels any better or worse after therapy is over. When he was younger his other therapist mostly did Myofacial realease for an hour. He always said he felt much better after we left. Now I am not so sure. He has bulked up considerably and has gotten stronger and thats good, but again I have often wondered if there is a difference for him.
Patty
Re: what to do???
I don't think that i belong in your make believe message board world. You guys can sit and pretend that everything is peaches and cream. To the ones that are down to earth, yuo have my email. I will take my 'snooty' opinions elsewhere! Have fun in what someone else called your bubble. Now I see that whoever that was was right! ASHLIE
Re: what to do???
Well, Staycee, I'll bet you didn't expect this firestorm, huh? All you wanted to know was if anyone else had had an issue with little ones not wanting to do therapy.
So, let's address that. I think we have all had our kids rebel against therapy. Who wants it? They can't see the benefit of it, some lady or man keeps asking them to do things that are difficult and frustrating and sometimes boring. Who needs it? I empathize with Juliana all the time. She still does it. Does she fight it sometimes, yes. There are times when I just have to sternly tell her that "this is what we are doing now." However, puking, is not a good thing. We can puke on command (a lovely trick, I assure you), but we have never done it regarding therapy. So, I think you should look at a few things:
-is it happening with all therapy or just this one?
-is it happening with other aspects of your day with him?
-is it a tired part of the day?
-do you have to travel a great distance to get there?
-what is your feeling towards this therapy? are you excited to do this? or annoyed?
Don't get me wrong, I am a very strict parent. I don't take crap from my kids and from very few adults. However, I have found that Juliana lives a very different life than my other 3 kids. I think even they would admit that. Because Juliana is a great kid, who is happy, well adjusted, and very focused, I trust that when she is not this way during therapy that we need to listen to her.
We have backed off before, and I will back off again if I need to.
I don't give in to temper tantrums either, but I also recognise that no one is asking ME to do the therapy. My ability to recognise the individualness of her situation is what makes me the parent and her the child. Not just my ability to make rules and force her (and the rest of them) to follow those rules.
So, if you have a long ride and you are sort of annoyed by that, well, maybe it is time to just do a regular swim class close by.
If there is poor behavior with ALL therapy, then either a change in therapists is in order or we are witnessing a personality trait (I think it is called stubborness!). And then I would hold fast. Maybe not to the swim, but to all the other therapy.
This is a part of all of our lives, but it doesn't always have to be a lousy part of our lives. It can be just like the tutor my nephew needs for his dyslexia-not a painful experience, because his tutor is well suited to his personality.
I think this is an issue you and all of us will revisit periodically. Growth spurts are not only physical, they are emotional too. Don't flip out, recogonise it for what it is: a bump in the therapy road. Treat it as such. Try not to read so much into it. He is not going to lose all function because you gave up aquatherapy. Nor is he going to be a rude, poorly behaved, spoiled brat because you made the decision to stop driving and hour to aquatherapy when he cried and puked. If life is like a movie reel-then this is one frame. There are so many more. Learn from this and move forward.
I hope it helps,
claudia
So, let's address that. I think we have all had our kids rebel against therapy. Who wants it? They can't see the benefit of it, some lady or man keeps asking them to do things that are difficult and frustrating and sometimes boring. Who needs it? I empathize with Juliana all the time. She still does it. Does she fight it sometimes, yes. There are times when I just have to sternly tell her that "this is what we are doing now." However, puking, is not a good thing. We can puke on command (a lovely trick, I assure you), but we have never done it regarding therapy. So, I think you should look at a few things:
-is it happening with all therapy or just this one?
-is it happening with other aspects of your day with him?
-is it a tired part of the day?
-do you have to travel a great distance to get there?
-what is your feeling towards this therapy? are you excited to do this? or annoyed?
Don't get me wrong, I am a very strict parent. I don't take crap from my kids and from very few adults. However, I have found that Juliana lives a very different life than my other 3 kids. I think even they would admit that. Because Juliana is a great kid, who is happy, well adjusted, and very focused, I trust that when she is not this way during therapy that we need to listen to her.
We have backed off before, and I will back off again if I need to.
I don't give in to temper tantrums either, but I also recognise that no one is asking ME to do the therapy. My ability to recognise the individualness of her situation is what makes me the parent and her the child. Not just my ability to make rules and force her (and the rest of them) to follow those rules.
So, if you have a long ride and you are sort of annoyed by that, well, maybe it is time to just do a regular swim class close by.
If there is poor behavior with ALL therapy, then either a change in therapists is in order or we are witnessing a personality trait (I think it is called stubborness!). And then I would hold fast. Maybe not to the swim, but to all the other therapy.
This is a part of all of our lives, but it doesn't always have to be a lousy part of our lives. It can be just like the tutor my nephew needs for his dyslexia-not a painful experience, because his tutor is well suited to his personality.
I think this is an issue you and all of us will revisit periodically. Growth spurts are not only physical, they are emotional too. Don't flip out, recogonise it for what it is: a bump in the therapy road. Treat it as such. Try not to read so much into it. He is not going to lose all function because you gave up aquatherapy. Nor is he going to be a rude, poorly behaved, spoiled brat because you made the decision to stop driving and hour to aquatherapy when he cried and puked. If life is like a movie reel-then this is one frame. There are so many more. Learn from this and move forward.
I hope it helps,
claudia