Hi! This has been on my mind so I thought I'd post. Our family was invited to a wedding this weekend and there was a reception with a food buffet. The plates to dish your food on to were very heavy - even empty. Brittney has been getting her own plate from buffets since she was about four or five. She's always been a little awkward dishing her plate but now that she's ten I guess her awkwardness is more noticeable. She had a very hard time trying to hold this heavy plate with her injured hand and dishing herself up food with her other hand. There wasn't room to set your plate down on the serving table to spoon on your food - the plate had to be held while you dished. I ended up helping her by holding her plate because she had the plate almost tilted completely sideways and food juice was dripping all over her sleeves, the other foods, and on to the tablecloth. If I wouldn't have helped her I'm not sure how she would have gotten her meal if she had been up there getting food by herself. Maybe she would have just had to make a few trips - so I suppose that would have worked. I was just wandering how any of you older adults with injuries feel about buffets and if you have any pointers that maybe I could pass along to Brittney. Seems like lately I keep realizing more and more things that might be difficult for her - especially when she's older and if I'm not there to step in if she needs me.........I know she will figure out her own way to do things but I'd like to help her prepare if I could.
I also wanted to say how great this forum is. Two years ago I would have had no one to talk to about this who would understand my worries. Thanks for any input and also thanks for understanding and listening.
Christy
Food buffets
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Kathleen M
Re: Food buffets
Christy
When I was younger I just made a lot of trips at weddings. And sometimes I would not eat because I could not carry a plate and dish of food... I also could not carry a plate and a drink... so needless to say I HATE BUFFETS.... LOL...
My husband always helps me or gets my plate and drink and really tries to avoid frustration for me. It keeps me from dropping things or bumping into someone and getting embarrassed and perhaps spilling my plate on someone else. It’s not just the carrying of the plate but for me my elbow sticks out and often I will bump into someone unaware of how close I am to them.
Just recently we were at a beautiful wedding and at the cocktail hour my husband filled my plate and brought it to me with a drink... WELL you should have heard the remarks... like "What a princess -- Wow do you have him trained - must be nice to be waited on." I could go on and on... I really thought since it was so crowded no one noticed and he had handeled this for me since we met and that’s 38 years ago. Well guess who made all these remarks ---- family members! This time my husband answered and let them know it was because I could not do it and if he did not have a problem why do they! He shocked me because he is a very mild calm person but he was annoyed that they were just so thoughtless. He thought they should have understood by now and not called so much attention to what I could not do. It seems they always made these comments but we just ignored them but they were going on and on like it was a big joke.
my friends who do did not know much about this injury ( just like me) always understand and have always helped me with out a word or a comment. They just stepped up and took a plate or cup back to the table for me as if it was the most natural thing in the world. And now that I have learned so much about it...they also have learned because they are interested.
Now you know why I hate buffets just too difficult to manage even if they have servers. I try to avoid them its easier...
Step in and help her or if you don't want to call attention to her alone get both girls plates! Then she won't feel uncomfortable... or let her make a couple of trips on her own with nothing on the plate to spill and holding it with both hands just for balance..
Hope someone has a better idea this is just my way of handling them or not handling buffets... UGH!
Kath
When I was younger I just made a lot of trips at weddings. And sometimes I would not eat because I could not carry a plate and dish of food... I also could not carry a plate and a drink... so needless to say I HATE BUFFETS.... LOL...
My husband always helps me or gets my plate and drink and really tries to avoid frustration for me. It keeps me from dropping things or bumping into someone and getting embarrassed and perhaps spilling my plate on someone else. It’s not just the carrying of the plate but for me my elbow sticks out and often I will bump into someone unaware of how close I am to them.
Just recently we were at a beautiful wedding and at the cocktail hour my husband filled my plate and brought it to me with a drink... WELL you should have heard the remarks... like "What a princess -- Wow do you have him trained - must be nice to be waited on." I could go on and on... I really thought since it was so crowded no one noticed and he had handeled this for me since we met and that’s 38 years ago. Well guess who made all these remarks ---- family members! This time my husband answered and let them know it was because I could not do it and if he did not have a problem why do they! He shocked me because he is a very mild calm person but he was annoyed that they were just so thoughtless. He thought they should have understood by now and not called so much attention to what I could not do. It seems they always made these comments but we just ignored them but they were going on and on like it was a big joke.
my friends who do did not know much about this injury ( just like me) always understand and have always helped me with out a word or a comment. They just stepped up and took a plate or cup back to the table for me as if it was the most natural thing in the world. And now that I have learned so much about it...they also have learned because they are interested.
Now you know why I hate buffets just too difficult to manage even if they have servers. I try to avoid them its easier...
Step in and help her or if you don't want to call attention to her alone get both girls plates! Then she won't feel uncomfortable... or let her make a couple of trips on her own with nothing on the plate to spill and holding it with both hands just for balance..
Hope someone has a better idea this is just my way of handling them or not handling buffets... UGH!
Kath
Re: Food buffets
You know I think it'll be really important for our kids to meet up with adults who have bpi's so that they can share their feelings of what works and what doesn't or about how they compensate to make something work. I just visualize Brittney and Kathleen talking about how buffets suck... and then laughing it off and having it feel better for both of them...
Kathleen - you've "come out" since you found UBPN, etc. and now it's so good to hear that your husband is coming out too. He's been your silent partner for so long - it's good that he can talk about what he's been holding in for so long. Good for him!
-francine
Kathleen - you've "come out" since you found UBPN, etc. and now it's so good to hear that your husband is coming out too. He's been your silent partner for so long - it's good that he can talk about what he's been holding in for so long. Good for him!
-francine
Re: Food buffets
Buffets? I have many trips.
The worst situation is when you are in a closed cue and you can have just one trip (I remember when I was at the university restaurant, it was so HEAVY to bring food to the table...and drinks ..pfui!).
When I really cannot manage with it, guess what? I ask to the cashier or to the waiter in front of me: even if I don't know them (you just cannot think always having a friend near - by in your life). When I ask, they quickly help me. This is my experience....
The worst situation is when you are in a closed cue and you can have just one trip (I remember when I was at the university restaurant, it was so HEAVY to bring food to the table...and drinks ..pfui!).
When I really cannot manage with it, guess what? I ask to the cashier or to the waiter in front of me: even if I don't know them (you just cannot think always having a friend near - by in your life). When I ask, they quickly help me. This is my experience....
Re: Food buffets
oh my god, I just had this same experience this weekend at the wedding of my husband's niece. Exactly the same problem. I hate buffets.
Here's what I do, I can hold the plate against my body, kind of wedge it against me (that erb's engram position can come in handy). I also place the plate on top of the serving tray, and then scoop out what I want, and if that fails, well, I just ask for help. This time I did a combo of all three!
But I HATE these things, and I try not to let my feelings of despair ruin my attitude towards what is usually meant to be a joyous occasion. It is tough, sometimes.
Nancy
Here's what I do, I can hold the plate against my body, kind of wedge it against me (that erb's engram position can come in handy). I also place the plate on top of the serving tray, and then scoop out what I want, and if that fails, well, I just ask for help. This time I did a combo of all three!
But I HATE these things, and I try not to let my feelings of despair ruin my attitude towards what is usually meant to be a joyous occasion. It is tough, sometimes.
Nancy
Re: Food buffets
Hey christy,
I have always considered eating as one of my hobbies LOL.
Yes the buffets are a to total pain in the rear. Even to this day I still find new ways to get through them I am 26 by the way LOBPI. I do not know how well she has use of her hand but what I do is hold the plate with my thumb index finger and middle finger---- my ring finger and pinky I put up against my body to hold the plate steady it looks a little awkward but it works for me. I also have my forearm pressed tightly against my body as well(it also helps that I have a bit of a belly LOL, Im working on that as well LOL) Hope this info works for you you can practice at home by making dinner buffet style in your house so she can get used to it first before she goes out into the "real" world. E-mail me if I can help with anything else
Frankie
I have always considered eating as one of my hobbies LOL.
Yes the buffets are a to total pain in the rear. Even to this day I still find new ways to get through them I am 26 by the way LOBPI. I do not know how well she has use of her hand but what I do is hold the plate with my thumb index finger and middle finger---- my ring finger and pinky I put up against my body to hold the plate steady it looks a little awkward but it works for me. I also have my forearm pressed tightly against my body as well(it also helps that I have a bit of a belly LOL, Im working on that as well LOL) Hope this info works for you you can practice at home by making dinner buffet style in your house so she can get used to it first before she goes out into the "real" world. E-mail me if I can help with anything else
Frankie
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Erica DeAnn
- Posts: 23
- Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2002 4:49 pm
Re: Food buffets
Christy--
I used to DREAD weddings / grad. parties / etc. just because of the buffet! I love it when there's enough room to set my plate down (I can't hold anything in my BP arm at all)! But when there's not, I'm usually at a function where I'm w/ someone close to me...then I have them scoop it onto my plate for me.
I used to be paranoid of looking like a jackass, but the older I get (I'm 25) the less I care what others think of me! I remember going home hungry at these types of functions because the buffet line was too difficult. Forget that! I rather have a few people stare at me than watch everyone else stuff their faces w/o me!
Good luck!
Erica DeAnn
I used to DREAD weddings / grad. parties / etc. just because of the buffet! I love it when there's enough room to set my plate down (I can't hold anything in my BP arm at all)! But when there's not, I'm usually at a function where I'm w/ someone close to me...then I have them scoop it onto my plate for me.
I used to be paranoid of looking like a jackass, but the older I get (I'm 25) the less I care what others think of me! I remember going home hungry at these types of functions because the buffet line was too difficult. Forget that! I rather have a few people stare at me than watch everyone else stuff their faces w/o me!
Good luck!
Erica DeAnn
Re: Food buffets
Hi Cristy
I don't know if I can help at all as my situation is slightly different...I have popped over to this board from the TBPI board, so you know that I have a different kind of injury...I cannot use my right arm or hand at all, so buffets are a bit of a challenge to say the least, although I have to admit, the situation can have its comedic value sometimes!
The first time I came across this problem I was actually on a boat, and didn't know anyone else there. It wasn't long after my injury, so I was still on the upward slope of a very steep learning curve.
I just strolled into the dining room at lunch time, joined the queue, grabbed a plate, shuffled in turn to the serving tables and then.....aaarrrgghhh!!! now what!!!
At that precise moment, I KNEW what a stunned mullet felt like!
There was nowhere to put the plate down, nowhere to just lean onto it to immobilise it, in short..I was going to miss my lunch if I didn't do something fast...the queue was backing up behind me...well, you get the picture! ;o)
...so, I did the only thing that I could; I looked around for the nearest friendly face, and with a quick explanation about why I needed help, asked him to hold the plate while I piled on the food..!!
Now, you may ask yourself, why "him?" weeell, he just happened to be behind me and the fact that he was the best looking bloke there had absolutely nothing to do with anything...!! I have done this several times since...and it always works and you get to make a new friend without even trying. You have THE perfect excuse to ask the best looking guy/gal there to help you...beware of jealous lurking boy/girlfriends tho!
Obviously, Brittney is not yet at an age were she will feel comfortable with this approach, but from what I have read about her here, she will definitely adapt to these kinds of situations real fast.
I also found that if I wore a sling or a brace, and stood long enough at a buffet table looking confused(never more than about 30 seconds) someone ALWAYS came over and offered to help...Okay, with this method you usually get stuck with answering interminable questions about 'what happened to your arm' etc etc but...I look upon it as another opportunity to spread the word, so, it's worth it...and least you can be sure of getting a good lunch..!! ;0)
Liz B xx
I don't know if I can help at all as my situation is slightly different...I have popped over to this board from the TBPI board, so you know that I have a different kind of injury...I cannot use my right arm or hand at all, so buffets are a bit of a challenge to say the least, although I have to admit, the situation can have its comedic value sometimes!
The first time I came across this problem I was actually on a boat, and didn't know anyone else there. It wasn't long after my injury, so I was still on the upward slope of a very steep learning curve.
I just strolled into the dining room at lunch time, joined the queue, grabbed a plate, shuffled in turn to the serving tables and then.....aaarrrgghhh!!! now what!!!
At that precise moment, I KNEW what a stunned mullet felt like!
There was nowhere to put the plate down, nowhere to just lean onto it to immobilise it, in short..I was going to miss my lunch if I didn't do something fast...the queue was backing up behind me...well, you get the picture! ;o)
...so, I did the only thing that I could; I looked around for the nearest friendly face, and with a quick explanation about why I needed help, asked him to hold the plate while I piled on the food..!!
Now, you may ask yourself, why "him?" weeell, he just happened to be behind me and the fact that he was the best looking bloke there had absolutely nothing to do with anything...!! I have done this several times since...and it always works and you get to make a new friend without even trying. You have THE perfect excuse to ask the best looking guy/gal there to help you...beware of jealous lurking boy/girlfriends tho!
Obviously, Brittney is not yet at an age were she will feel comfortable with this approach, but from what I have read about her here, she will definitely adapt to these kinds of situations real fast.
I also found that if I wore a sling or a brace, and stood long enough at a buffet table looking confused(never more than about 30 seconds) someone ALWAYS came over and offered to help...Okay, with this method you usually get stuck with answering interminable questions about 'what happened to your arm' etc etc but...I look upon it as another opportunity to spread the word, so, it's worth it...and least you can be sure of getting a good lunch..!! ;0)
Liz B xx
Re: Food buffets
Thank you all for taking the time to respond with such great ideas and help. I've noticed that she does sometimes try and balance the plate up against her stomach, or anything that will work. Maybe she was just having more problems because she was dressed up and wearing long sleeves (instead of short) and those plates were just so heavy, but you had me thinking too that I bet as she gets older she'll be more coordinated and be a better balancer maybe. She was wearing purple velour too - very slick stuff. I didn't even think of that when we bought the dress - just thought that she loves purple and soft furry material! Duh on my part. Brittney's little sister was no help this time - she cut the line, grabbed herself a drumstick and was sitting down eating before we were even started dishing our plates! LOL Liz, I know she'll love your idea - find a handsome guy and ask for help! Next time she's feeling awkward I'm sure if I tell her what you said that she'll be laughing and looking for prospects instead of feeling frustrated. I can see her having us all laughing as she's trying to decide who to ask - - and I can help her get her food while she's scoping out the place. She loves any opportunity for comedy - much rather laugh than be upset. Thanks for sharing what happened with you. Kath, I'm hoping that someday Brittney will find a man as loving as your husband that will automatically help her because he knows her so well and loves her so much. I understand too how aggravating it is when family members still don't get it - so glad that your husband does and told them. You had also mentioned how your elbow bumps the others in the buffet line. I meant to add that in my original post. I was in front of Brittney and she had knocked my plate almost out of my hand about four times and I understand because I'm her Mom - but if someone else would have been me they might have thought she was just inconsiderate or in a hurry. She didn't seem to realize that she was bumping me. I'm scared a stranger might have wanted to deck her! I think as a kid she can definitely get a way with more than she will be able to as an adult. Not too many people understand "no body boundry on this side" sort of thing. I guess I should bring it to her attention more instead of ignoring that she's bumping me so that she can start to realize more. I don't want her getting in to a rumble in the food line.. I think we'll combine all of your ideas. We'll practice dishing and balancing and taking lots of trips and asking for help too. Who knows - maybe she'll meet the man of her dreams in some huge food buffet!:) Thanks again to all of you - your ideas were very helpful.
Christy
Christy
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Michelle_16
Re: Food buffets
Hi.Its really interesting to hear somethin like this come up. I actually go to buffets quite often.I dont know about in the States but in Scotland buffet meals are very popular. India restuarants in particular. My family go for india buffets quite a bit(we're jst that lazy type of family). I tend to manage quite well.
The way the food is set out is in deep metal dishes over a heating thing to keep the dishes hot. So i usually manage to put the plate half leanin on the dish and then hold it up with my bpi hand. and dish my food onto my plate with my left. The only thing is if it is a runny dish i sumtimes tend to spill it into other dishes on the spoon bcos i have to take it across to my plate. If my arm is havin a good day i hold the plate in my left arm and carefully spoon the food with my right arm. I havent quite managed the lifting the spoon back out of the dish yet! It takes practise and i think your children have to find the most "natrual" way for them bcos if my mum had to tell me to do somethin one way and i found it easier an other way id go with my way but feel bad bcos she's told me to do it another. Its something we all have to deal with. You daughter will have a tough time!lol we all do but she'l get by. Sometimes i feel better than other ppl bcos i do the same as them and i hav erbs!
I can remember ages ago in PE we had to do forward rolls and lotsa ppl were moanin "i cant do it miss" , "my arms are too sore to do them 2day" and i done a perfect front roll and i thot to myself well if you have two good arms and i have only one good arm you can do it if i can!
Well thats my input!
Michelle x
The way the food is set out is in deep metal dishes over a heating thing to keep the dishes hot. So i usually manage to put the plate half leanin on the dish and then hold it up with my bpi hand. and dish my food onto my plate with my left. The only thing is if it is a runny dish i sumtimes tend to spill it into other dishes on the spoon bcos i have to take it across to my plate. If my arm is havin a good day i hold the plate in my left arm and carefully spoon the food with my right arm. I havent quite managed the lifting the spoon back out of the dish yet! It takes practise and i think your children have to find the most "natrual" way for them bcos if my mum had to tell me to do somethin one way and i found it easier an other way id go with my way but feel bad bcos she's told me to do it another. Its something we all have to deal with. You daughter will have a tough time!lol we all do but she'l get by. Sometimes i feel better than other ppl bcos i do the same as them and i hav erbs!
I can remember ages ago in PE we had to do forward rolls and lotsa ppl were moanin "i cant do it miss" , "my arms are too sore to do them 2day" and i done a perfect front roll and i thot to myself well if you have two good arms and i have only one good arm you can do it if i can!
Well thats my input!
Michelle x