College Life...Questions

[Its1105]

Ok, so I am still new to all of this and was curious if maybe you could all give me some advice.

First, I have been wearing a sling since Dec 09 due to my RTBPI. I also have been using a messenger bag to carry my books to classes as I cannot put weight on my affected arm due to incredible pain. The muscles on my left side have begun to become very tense and hurt terribly due to the sling and the bag. I was in a harris-hemi sling but it still tended to pull on my left side more for some reason ( I could not keep it adjusted correctly). Basically, I broke down and got a rolling/wheeled backpack. Now, my problem is I already look incredibly lopsided becuase my muscle atrophy and my posture got weird to correct for my arm. Well, in college it is, umm how do I put this, pretty lame to have a rolling backpack. I know I should not care what people think, but I just feel so outcasted becuase of it. My close friends now about the situation, but walking around on campus is tough. Especially if I do not wear my sling, becuase then my arm hangs there but it look like anything is wrong. With a sling, I at least look like I have a reason for a rolling backpack. I don't wear it too much now, bc I would rather deal with the pain in my affected arm than add pain from my left side too though. Any thoughts? I know I shouldnt care about it, but having all the other kids around campus give me weird looks are laugh at me just is hard.

Also, I have very little energy since my surgery and what not. I usually take 18-19 credit hours and work 20 hours a week. This semester I am only taking 13 hours and workign about 8 hours and I feel exhausted ALL the time. It is really hard and I am not sure if I should be worried about it or not. I also am always very thirsty. I go back to the doctor in mid March for my followup but I do not know if I should talk to him sooner or not. Any thoughts?

And one last thing...any other suggestions on getting through college with one arm? I have use of my fingers and wrist, but it is very painful after using them for a short amount of time. I have no use of my shoulder and cannot move my elbow correctly either.

Thanks Everyone!!!

[RobertRacer]

I think you are a little overly worried about what others think . I just view it like this, there is nothing I can do to change my situation so I just accept it and do whatever I need to do to move on. A lot of times when you think people are laughing or staring at you, it's just you, or your mind, projecting your internal worries into the external world around you. Of course there are idiots who actually do that but it's probably 1 for every 10 you think are.

If the sling helps you, wear it. It is usually very helpful this early on. A lot of times the few movements you can do, finger movements, wrist, elbow, whatever will hurt you a lot in the short run, but I found that for me, I had to go through that short term pain to maximize the long term use. Keeps atrophy away, regenerates muscle, loosens the joints, etc.

It sucks, but I spend a lot of time in the pool, scars on my back, scars on my stomach, scars on my neck, scars on the arm and shoulder, the atrophied shoulder. Yes, some people stare. Can't do anything about it. It helps me get better. I have a lot less pain. I have more passive movement in my shoulder joint. Some muscles have slightly recovered.

I wouldn't worry about the rolling backpack either, actually, now that I think about it, I'd of liked to have had one 10 years ago in college even without my injury.

Pace yourself and don't worry that you cant do what you did preinjury. Just do what you can now to get the most back out of it.

[Its1105]

Thanks for the reply! Yeah, I probably am overly worried. I just have heard some people in my math class make comments about me (becuase I get extra time on quizzes/tests since I am right handed and my injury is on my right hand). They do not know what happened to me or anything, and in college you can't just be like "hey guys be quiet, this is what happened" So I guess it just has gotten to me a bit.

The sling hurts my neck too much causing more pain bc then my left side hurts too. So I am trying to just do my OT and not use my sling. It is painful, but like you said I am trying to deal with the pain now so I can get good results.

I am trying to accept it since there isn't anything I can do. I am trying to be confident about who I am and what not, but I guess everything just seems so up in the air right now with my school and job and everything bc of this right now. I know it will all work out, I guess I am just trying to work through it all right now.

Thanks for the reply though. I'll try to not worry as much. lol

[marieke]

in college you can't just be like "hey guys be quiet, this is what happened"

Yes you can! I did. I went to nursing school in 2005, after being paralyzed by an autoimmune disorder. I recovered, but not completely and now use a cane and a leg brace. This is on top of having a OBPI.

I heard the whispers/questions too, and I got fed up and DID tell them what was what and why. You CAN tell them, I know it's harder to do than in high school say, but it is possible if that is what you want to do.

If you do set them straight they will feel like idiots for being so insensitive AND may even look up to you for being so 'strong' for going to college and dealing with what you have to deal with.

Trust me, been there and know what you feel like.

As for the rolling backpack... if it is easier on your arms/shoulders, USE it! I had one too,I was one of the first ones to use one and in the end many of us ended up using one as nursing books weigh a ton! I hated it, and only used it when I had to bring text books to class, otherwise I carried the minimum and used a regular backpack.

Good luck!
Marieke 33, LOBPI
RN


Message was edited by: marieke

[Its1105]

thanks for the encouragement.

yeah i know i technically can tell them what is going on. I just meant it is harder because in college you have multiple classes and at my school they all have hundreds of kids in them...so it isnt like i can just tell everyone like i might have been able to in elementary school where i had one class all day long. if that makes sense.

plus, my math class is where i keep hearing to comments, and i already got yelled at by my professor because i have a notetaker, and it was her first day so i was telling her kind of what to take notes on and stuff so she would get the correct info and since i was "talking" (i was really whispering but the acoustics in the room are crazy) he got really mad and yelled at both of us in the middle of class. i spoke with him about it afterward and explained my situation and apologized but he didn't seem to care too much. so i guess i just am kinda nervous about it all now.. i mean, it was humiliating to be yelled at in front of a class of 150 kids especially since i had to talk to her or i wouldnt get the notes i needed.

but yeah, i mean i know what you all mean, and i want to stand up for myself...and do for the most part. i guess its just hard because now i am beginning to become more aware of it all since others are making comments or treating me differently. so its just me being more self conscious i guess.

thanks for the support though.

[twatson386]

I've noticed when people are looking at my inured arm, it is usually because they are curious as to what is wrong.

Two things usually happen. 1. They ask you politely what happened. 2. Turn away quickly, almost like they are embarassed.

[RobertRacer]

Most people you see looking probably don't even notice anything is "wrong". It's up to you if you want to tell them. They're adults though, they'll understand. Often times it might even become a discussion point and you might make a new friend. Or even, how do you know they're not just looking cause they think you're hot?

I can understand the embarrassment from being yelled at in front of the class, but that'd be embarassing injury or not. At least now your prof knows, and you can have your notetaker do what needs to be done. Try working out some hand signals for "write that down" and stuff.

It's not about standing up for yourself though. You just have to be internally secure and confident. We all have moments when we aren't confident, but even if you had no arm problem, at times you might be insecure about something else. I wouldn't sweat it too much, sounds like you're dealing ok for the most part.

But you know how it is, in reality, there is no way you can tell each and every person in a college class or around campus. Theres just too many. I would not worry about it though, I think it may end up being a non issue for you in the long run. If I can help anymore, let me know.

[marieke]

Your professor sounds like an ass. My first A&P professor was much like that. She was a real (rhymes with witch), and would often try to embarrass me. She disliked people leaving to go to the washroom during class, but I wold HAVE TO! I have a neurogenic bladder and when I have to go I have to go! LOL. So I would leave while she wrote on the board so as not to disrupt her or the class and only walk back in when she was writing on the board again.

But she would single me out and say something rude and my leaving. Even though I didn't disrupt her or anyone else! (keep in my it's a 3 hr class... with no break b/c she was insane).

After this happened a few times, I got mad back and spoke to her after class. I told her what I had and WHY I could not wait to go. She didn't say much, but stopped calling attention to me after this.

Hopefully your prof will stop being an ass now to you, even if he doesn't like it!

Marieke 33, LOBPI

[ironmansmom]

If you are exhausted all the time and extremely thirsty, I would seriously consider talking to your doctor sooner rather than later. Those are a couple of the symptoms of type 2 diabetes. Have you lost weight? My husband had those symptoms and is type 2 diabetic. Just a thought. Hope things get better.

[Its1105]

Robert - thanks for the responses. I guess it is just hard becuase some people do realize something is wrong (when I have my sling and braces on) and then other times they don't realize anything is wrong (when I do not wear the braces) - but that is when I guess it gets confusing and people talk. Like the comments I have heard are just about why I get extra time on stuff when "i look fine" and they have seen me write before. i guess i just dont want to have to justify myself to them, but when u feel like u are being judged its hard to not think about it.

I was a pretty confident person before all of this, so I guess I just need to get back into that mind frame. I have probably let this injury get to me more than I should have - it is just so hard.

Sorry if I am always sounding like I am complaining. I really am trying to accept it and just live my life, but with the constant exhaustion and pain it is like I can never get it off my mind.

Marieke - thanks for your comments too. And yes, my professor is pretty much a jerk. I had a note from the disability office to get notes from him the first 2 weeks of classes bc I did not have notetaker yet and he refused to give them to me. It is only one semester of dealing with him though, so I suppose I am just going to bite my tongue and deal with it. He is pretty much a jerk to everyone though, so I try not to take it personally!

Ironmansmom - thanks for the info. diabetes does run in my fam so I will talk to my doc about that. I didn't think about that at all.


Once again, sorry if i seem like i am complaining. I am not meaning to. It is just no one around here really understands... so I figure maybe you all can help or just listen. I did start counseling recently though just to help so maybe that will be good.