I am 46 and had both arms injured at birth, which makes me BiLateral OBPI. Since my arms look "normal" ......dam I hate that word in this context, I don't normally get many initial comments. It's only after people see how I do things that the questions start. I know at times people can be rude and crude and you just want to clobber them. For myself I never get very upset tho. I always feel that there are so many more people out there who are so much worse off then myself, that I just don't get angry with ignorant people. Just sad for them that they are truely clueless. Or maybe I am in denial?? Don't get me wrong, I still carry deep hurt from things said when I was younger. Those things will never ever go away. Just remember you cannot control that which is NOT in your control, and peoples comments fall in that category. I believe that all of us who have had to live with this our whole lives have found ways to deal-cope-exist that works best for each of us as individuals. Be strong and confident in the knowledge that you have made a life for yourself. When others might have not.
And if all else fails..........have a drink and go out and howl at the moon Welcome to a place in your life where people TRUELY UNDERSTAND !!
Get a whole stash of cards made up that say something like....
"You have been given this card in answer to your ignorant/rude/thoughtless comment/question about me. I don't have time to waste explaining my injury to you right now, but if you want to educate yourself, go and look up the words "Obstetric Brachial Plexus injuries" on the internet, or in a medical dictionary. Now go away and leave me alone."
....or this;
"This card has been given to you in response to your very personal and ill timed question by who has an injury to the BRACHIAL PLEXUS. If you really want to know what that means, look it up on the internet or your library. You may then think twice next time you feel compelled to ask such a probing question of a complete stranger.'
..I could go on...but you get the picture! The Brit one could be less polite, believe me..! something like..
'You ignorant p***t shove your f***** comments up your a****!!!'
sorry..heheheheee..I am actually getting well into this now...
Just hand one to the idiot, then turn around, walk out the door...(hhmmm, now where have I heard THAT before....!) Just imagine the look on their face!!
Just one more thought; in other societies, particularly in the past, people who were born a bit 'different' were revered and treasured by their tribes, some as visionaries, healers and spiritual leaders; their 'deformities' (don't cringe...sorry!) were seen as outward signs of being blessed by gods and spirits, and were very special people who were looked up to. Equally, people who were injured, particularly in battle, and survived, in some societies were revered as warriors and given their due respect by everyone, so you see we are all in the wrong society!
but we are ALL warriors and survivors...
keep smilin' peeps..!! ;0)
I have a left bpi from an auto accident in February 2000. I have gone through a lot of adjustments and still am... My arm is starting to look a lot different then the other arm so I tend to hide it. This last summer I got into scarves. I fold them on an angle and then pin them onto the left shoulder of my shirt before I put it on. It looks good and I can hide my arm under it and to date strangers have not noticed it.(I got the idea from a fashion magazine picture I saw. Now I look at thirt stores and find them really cheap.)
Friends are different though... I have friends who think I should have my arm amputated because of the advances they have made with prostetic arms/hands. Those are the times since the accident that leave me with smoke coming out my ears. For me that is like saying I should give up hope... My accident left me really struggling because everyone in my life bailed except my children.
My children are so unique to be around. My nine year old hates the handicap symbol of a person in a wheelchair and practical has smoke coming out of his ears when he sees one. He says only an idiot cannot see that that person is disabled he thinks they should educate people to all the other kinds of disabilities in the world and then come up with a symbol that recognizes all disabilities. Through my children having experienced me becoming disabled I know that they are going to grow up and never point out anyones disability. I see that everyday now...
God bless.
I absolutely loved your post. Actually laughed out loud (and I'm in work right now). Thanks for the very, very funny (and great) ideas! I'd love to send Eric over to visit you guys "across the pond". He would fit right in!
I totally agree with what Tina said. I have had some ugly comments said to me that still hurt also. Now a days I just laugh them off. I have a real sick sense of humor, at least that is what I have been told.One thing I don't think people realize is how much pain we carry around with this injury.My humour is my way of dealing with it.By the way welcome to the board. I am 40 and am right obpi.I had a child 2 days ago ask me what was wrong with my arm.I explained it to him and his reply was"I am sure lucky that both my arms work" I told him to always remember how lucky he is.
Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: January 1980 Yamaha RD200 vs 16 wheeler truck, result, 1 totally paralysed right arm. I was 21, now 54. I had no surgery, I don't regret this. Decided to totally ignore limitations (easily done aged 21) adapted very quickly to one handed life, got married, had 3 kids, worked- the effect of the injury on my life (once the pain stopped being constant) was minimal and now, aged 54, I very rarely even think of it, unless I bash it or it gets cold, then I wish I'd had it amputated :) Except for a steering knob on my car, I have no adaptations to help with life, mainly because I honestly don't think of myself as disabled and the only thing I can't do is peel potatoes, which is definitely a good thing.
good one lizzie-count me in the band of warriors! tina, in denial???? I DONT THINK SO!!!! people have said that to me because i'm well adjusted, don't let them knock you, you are just way cooler than most peeps is all! nice to see u back, we missed you at our uk gathering....now what have you done with mikey???
Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: January 1980 Yamaha RD200 vs 16 wheeler truck, result, 1 totally paralysed right arm. I was 21, now 54. I had no surgery, I don't regret this. Decided to totally ignore limitations (easily done aged 21) adapted very quickly to one handed life, got married, had 3 kids, worked- the effect of the injury on my life (once the pain stopped being constant) was minimal and now, aged 54, I very rarely even think of it, unless I bash it or it gets cold, then I wish I'd had it amputated :) Except for a steering knob on my car, I have no adaptations to help with life, mainly because I honestly don't think of myself as disabled and the only thing I can't do is peel potatoes, which is definitely a good thing.
....your son hit the nail right on the head! believe me, people in wheelchairs absolutely hate those symbols too! for them it's like, there are literally millions of kinds of disability, why is it just mine that symbolises it? it's a tough one as we found when trying to design an emblem for the Awareness week, maybe your son could come up with something for all disabled people, children are so often able to do this kind of thing uncluttered as they often are by personal prejudice and preconcieved ideas, just a thought :0)
Welcome to a place in your life where people TRUELY UNDERSTAND !!