Need this poem asap

[LeeAnne]

CW1992, I don't mind the discussion of the poem, but the original poster just wanted a copy.When all the negative feelings get posted about it, maybe that person will feel guilty for asking for it. She just asked for a poem and some people acted like they were totally offended because she asked for it.This is my last post on the subject. I don't like to be argumentative and spread ill will. If I offended someone for my point of view I'm sorry. I just hope that if I ask for something like this I don't get blasted with the negative posts. Hope everyone has a good day even though it's 9/11. Yes, you can have a solemn, good day. LeeAnne

[CW1992]

I did not intend to offend the original poster and I can't see where anyone else did either. What offended me was being questioned as to why I felt like posting - to me that was when the discussion of feelings about a topic took a turn. As I've stated before - I do like a good discussion and hearing about how we all interpret the same poem so differently. Since my interpretation of this poem might also be shared by my child and other OBPI's I felt the need to clarify how I felt about this poem so that feelings would NOT get hurt. Whoops - I showed feeling with my capitalization again. Please do NOT (did it again) ask me to sit quietly by when someone I love might get hurt by a misunderstanding - I won't do it.

[Albita]

I love the poem and i totally agree with what Cara and Paula said.
The poem helps me to get passed the "if only and what ifs"
I am "living in Holland" and I LOVE it!
I have made new friends and have learned a lot by living in "Holland"

Albita (mom to Emilio 6.5 months with a LOBPI)

[Sally]

Hi all. I rarely post, but I wanted to share my thoughts about this poem. I found it interesting to read here, as I hadn't thought about in relation to my son's OBPI. I *have* read it many times on the preemie forums I belong to. My first son was a 3.5 pound preemie. I love him with a fierce passion - Tourettes Syndrome, ADHD, behavior issues, low IQ, speech/fine motor/gross motor delays, eating issues, reflux, sleep issues and all. Would I change him? Not for anything. Am I sad that he will have to face challenges in his life that he *probably* wouldn't have had to if he were't born almost 2 months too early. You bet. It breaks my heart to see him struggle. However, that is part of *him* - and I love him just like he is (Holland, for me, is wonderful. I can't even begin to imagine Italy).

That said, I love my 3rd son just as fiercely (and my 2nd, too!). Would I change him? Never, ever, ever. However, I am sad that he had to go through surgery (Mod Quad) and endless PT/OT because of an injury at birth. I wish that he hadn't been injured. But, his injury is part of who he is (he isn't Michael with the ROBPI - he is just Michael, my little Bugger-Boo) and I wouldn't change that (still enjoying my stay in Holland).

I hope that I haven't offended anyone. That is certainly not my intent. I find it interesting and very thought provoking to read everyone's opinion on this poem. I had never considered it to be voicing "disappointment" in the final destination - only an ever growing appreciation of what was the (albeit, unexpected) final destination.

Sally (and my 3 fabulous little boys - Robert (6), William (3) and Michael (17 months))

[DebbieJean]

Just my two cents. Yes, I thought the poem was wonderful. Here we are hoping beyond belief for a
healthy baby, and "pow" we get a child with a disability and other medical problems....No they weren't at fault, we weren't at fault.
But still the same we choose to live with it. We choose to over
overcome it. We choose to not let our child that was
injured suffer no more! We were thrown a curveball
and now we have to make the best of it. We still love our child,,beyond anything we can envision.

We will continue to support our child, and get the support we need. Don't ever say that we weren't
disappointed in the injury. Of course we were. Why wouldn't we be? We always will be.. But we can overcome that and see our
child grow into a wonderful adult. Who has a great self-esteem, and has a heart of love.

Like the poem we always wanted Italy, but went to Holland instead. We will always wonder what Italy would have been like, but Holland is so beautiful, and loving in itself, and knowing that gets us through
the next century.

So if you requested this poem, please don't feel upset.
We each have our own opinions, and know that it is ok
to feel what we feel. That is called the healing process. We all go through this at some point, and some people have different names for it, but it is the same. For to like the poem is ok, and to not like it
is ok, also.
God bless all,
DebbieJean

[CW1992]

Can't believe I'm posting again but here I go (and please don't ask me 'but one question' because this is an open discussion board...

I really learned alot by reading everyone's opinion of what this poem says to them. I truthfully do understand better - it just depends on how you interpret the meaning. I think also that this poem probably relates more to a new Mom with a baby - more than a Mom with a 10 year old who has had time. I think it does us all good to be able to disagree so that we learn from eachother. But - - here I go again (sorry) I still can't get past the part that says, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go,...what I had planned", and also the part that states "and the pain of that will never ever ever go away" ... "loss of 'that' dream" - to me suggests disappointment. It sounds as though we are all making the best out of it while we watch our friends having a "flashy Italy" life while we, the poor people who got our dreams shot down because our children aren't what we expected, are making the best out of what life has dealt us - but that we will always envey our friends who seem to be having such a great easy life. I know that would break my daughters heart if she ever thought that I felt this way - and of course I do not.
Christy

[Cara]

Thump Thump thump.. (That's me beating a dead horse:)
Anyway...
To respond to CW1992 Being able to calmly say, yep that's the way it is suppose to be (Italy) instead of going into a four letter rant about the whole process was a major healing step for me. To be able to deal with it calmly and not let the anger eat me up, that is what living in Holland was for me. As far as the loss of "that dream" part. It is not a knock on a child in my eyes. I look at it this way, I always do and probably always will get a lump in my throat when i talk about the injury. My daughter is not the injury though, she is a person, and I would be lying to say that I wouldn't want to change the fact that she got injured. I am her mom, and it is my job to take care of her and make things right. Does that mean I am disappointed in her NO WAY SHE is GREAT But I would love for her to able to be a kid and not have doctor and therapy appointments and to play games in the evening instead of struggling through a therapy session. I guess it comes back to the anger, of knowing this could have been prevented and wasn't.

The only reason I am replying is at first when I read the post about people not liking the poem I was thinking "Oh my gosh, I must be an awful mom for liking it!" But then I actually took a minute,stopped and thought about why I liked it, and shared my thoughts. CW1992 is right, it is an open discussion. This is not a court where anyone gets to cast a final verdict. Thanks for reading my rambling. I guess this makes four cents.

[CW1992]

Cara - I really do understand you. I really am sorry if I have upset you. I guess we all just understand different things from the same words - I feel like I'm beating a dead horse myself. Thump thump right back at you - and I mean that respectly.
Christy

[admin]

ditto to what cara said