how old was your child when she began to
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Re: how old was your child when she began to
My son was 6 years old when he wanted to discuss his arm. Up until then he didn't like people talking about it in front of him
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NancyP
Re: how old was your child when she began to
Kelsey just started talking about it (she is almost 6). After her 3rd surgery, she told people that she had surgery. This spring, she had her 4th surgery. She had the airplane splint. If people asked, she told them she had "surgery, brachial plexus". When people didn't ask, and she thought they were looking at her, she would go up to them and loudly say "I had surgery" then yell "BRACHIAL PLEXUS". Then laugh and walk away. She is a nut.
Re: how old was your child when she began to
Brittney would answer for herself when she was around three. I was worried about her being asked by the other kids and not knowing what to say - so we practiced. I never told her that she was a victim when she was little because that's a hard concept for a little one to figure out. I did not want her to feel like someone would want to hurt her or had hurt her - it just happened. I told her something like - We are all different and when she was born her left arm was not as strong as her right arm. We need to help her left arm work the best it can so that's why she should try to use it as much as she can and take turns with her left and right arms..... She has always known that her left arm needed extra help but I wanted her to be able to explain it herself in case she was asked so that she would never feel embarrassed and would know what to say. "That's just the way she was when she was born".
We'd role play out everything - from being with friends, new kids she'd meet, adults. I just told her that kids might ask her about her arm so lets pretend I'm a kid and what would you say if somebody asks you....... I'd ask her something like "what's wrong with your arm?" and she'd say, "it got hurt when I was born" - "How come you can't put your hands over your ears?" She'd say, "because my left arm isn't strong enough yet". I taught her how to turn the conversation back on them in a nice way - "so how come YOU have green socks?" or "bet you can't guess my dog's name"... just ask THEM something next... and so on - - we'd usually end up laughing because she'd get really silly with role playing - and that helped her make friends when she was actually asked by other kids. They weren't scared off by her answer and she'd ask them a fun question back. Her typical answer when she was really little was something like - "when I was born my left arm wasn't very strong". .. or when she was coming out of my tummy her nerves in her arm got hurt. I never taught her big explanations when she was little. I knew most kids would keep asking her until they had an answer they could sort of understand - so we kept it as simple as possible.
When Brittney was about five I told her alittle more - that the doctor accidentally pulled too hard on her nerves in her arm when he was trying to help Mommy have her. She had been worried because I was pregnant with her sister and had asked me how come I knew that this baby's arm was going to be OK. She was really concerned right before her sister was born so I explained alittle more about the doctor's mistake and that this was a different doctor who would know what to do. I think the impact of our answers should be concidered. Alot of kids do worry about their new brothers or sisters who will be born and if you tell your child who was injured about how awful the doctor was who delivered them - they will be scared of doctors and also might scare their friends whose Moms might be pregnant. I think the Awareness stuff should be geared towards adults - not the kids. Let the kids be kids...
When Brittney and I practiced our answers - I realized that she was confused by a lot of things so I helped her understand a little more clearly. I think that helping her think of easy answers and practicing them worked great for her when she was little and it helped her to make friends. Well - that's what worked for us.
Christy
We'd role play out everything - from being with friends, new kids she'd meet, adults. I just told her that kids might ask her about her arm so lets pretend I'm a kid and what would you say if somebody asks you....... I'd ask her something like "what's wrong with your arm?" and she'd say, "it got hurt when I was born" - "How come you can't put your hands over your ears?" She'd say, "because my left arm isn't strong enough yet". I taught her how to turn the conversation back on them in a nice way - "so how come YOU have green socks?" or "bet you can't guess my dog's name"... just ask THEM something next... and so on - - we'd usually end up laughing because she'd get really silly with role playing - and that helped her make friends when she was actually asked by other kids. They weren't scared off by her answer and she'd ask them a fun question back. Her typical answer when she was really little was something like - "when I was born my left arm wasn't very strong". .. or when she was coming out of my tummy her nerves in her arm got hurt. I never taught her big explanations when she was little. I knew most kids would keep asking her until they had an answer they could sort of understand - so we kept it as simple as possible.
When Brittney was about five I told her alittle more - that the doctor accidentally pulled too hard on her nerves in her arm when he was trying to help Mommy have her. She had been worried because I was pregnant with her sister and had asked me how come I knew that this baby's arm was going to be OK. She was really concerned right before her sister was born so I explained alittle more about the doctor's mistake and that this was a different doctor who would know what to do. I think the impact of our answers should be concidered. Alot of kids do worry about their new brothers or sisters who will be born and if you tell your child who was injured about how awful the doctor was who delivered them - they will be scared of doctors and also might scare their friends whose Moms might be pregnant. I think the Awareness stuff should be geared towards adults - not the kids. Let the kids be kids...
When Brittney and I practiced our answers - I realized that she was confused by a lot of things so I helped her understand a little more clearly. I think that helping her think of easy answers and practicing them worked great for her when she was little and it helped her to make friends. Well - that's what worked for us.
Christy
Re: how old was your child when she began to
i'm 17 and not sure when i started answering but at the age of 11 i did a talk in my class for other people to find out. the problem is now that i am with the Girls Brigade and Brownies and the problem is what do you say to them as they may not understand but what i would normaly say now is that i was born that way so they know how it happened.
Re: how old was your child when she began to
Francine, Maia will need to know something before she starts school. The first week of Kindergarden Michaela got asked repeatedly about her arm by students, teachers, Librarian, Music teacher and esp. PE teachers. She is still getting a few questions from kids in other classes so if she doesn't fell like it , which is alot lately, she just doesn't answer. I asked her what she tells them and she said, " I tell them the doctor stretched my neck when I was born and tore the nerves to my arm so it doesn't work so well." Something simple is sufficient.Truthful,but simple.