some good news...not all guys are bad

[TheTrooper]

Hey

I just wanted to thank Tina and Brinks and everyone else who took time to respond, it helped alot.

Sometimes you let it get it to you and sometimes your fine I know I am not toally over it yet, but knowing that I will be eventually is good news.

I already have the right mindset most of the time sometimes I just take a step back when people ask me to do things I'll look different at.

Anyways what you guys said really does help and I appreciate it.

I know nothing about this camp but it sounds like a cool idea, I could drive down for it. Where is it being held?

Thanks

[hope16_05]

Hey Brian,
Glad to hear things are looking better for you! Sometimes thins injury just bites us and it takes a few days to get over. I hate notcing new things I cant do and that gets me down at times but then I come here or now I can talk to my boyfriend and we make things better.

Camp is an amazing experience! The next camp will be in 2009 somewhere in Florida. Watch the camp board for official updates from the board as we get things planned out. Also do you receive OUTREACH? Its a free magazine we put together with bpi info and camp info... If you want this magazine email your name and mailing info to Nancy Birk nancy@ubpn.org and she will get you on the mailing list.

Hope your having a great day!
Hugs,
Amy 21 years old ROBPI from MN

[Delisil]

Hello there, I am a new mother of a daughter was diagnosed with BPI at birth. Your story has encouraged me to know that she will live a normal life in this sometimes cruel world. I wish you the best of luck and thank you for telling your story as I know there is always a brighter side of things.

[hope16_05]

Hi Laura,
I am so glad that sharing my experience can provide you with some hope. Life is very much as normal as you make it. My parents did a wonderful job making my life normal. Let your little girl participate in the things that will scare you such as sports and she will be fine. We may do things differently but they get done.

I am definitely loving the brighter side of things! The dating life is great! You just have to wait for the right person to come into your life.

If you ever have any question (there is never a stupid question) please do feel free to ask me either here or in private email if thats more comfortable. hope16_05@hotmail.com

Hugs,
Amy 21 years old ROBPI from MN
The girl located on cloud 9

[Luc]

HI guys... I think I had given Kath my word I would hang around upbn more often.,, I fibbed a bit : ) Posts like this hit veryyyyy close to home, and remind me to come back. Trooper, I feel your pain bro.........

Mr, Trooper, I have have been struggling with the same issue you have been fighting this week past. I am a 26 year old LOBPI, and I did not dignosed until I was 24.
There has been a lot of great advice in this thread in my opinion,,,,, our scars are more mental in nature than physical in the dating game. I felt inferior in high school, and it probably had shone- thru in my demenor. To this day, and for instance this past week, I have asked to girls out... just for a meal or something, and I have been shot down. The first thought after the attempt is always," she must've seen my Erb's side, I should have approached her facing to my right!" or " see luke, your deformed, you will never get a date," just like in high school.

That being said , I am going to make the bold claim that it is harder for BPI young men to get quality dates than for BPI women. I don't have any hard evidence except personal experience. Every single time I have mentioned BPI to a girl, (which I only like have mentioned to 4 or five) they act like I have AIDS and we talk no more. So my first piece of advice is to not talk about it unless asked. Second reason why girls have it easier- guys are semi- savages. If a girl is somewhat cute with all her teeth plus a nice figure, a guy will over look all else, because a man really wants you know what. But we all know People are "shallow", men and women. and physical disablities are never mentioned in describing a guy as a "lady killer". I for one am done trying. I'm not looking actively anymore. Good luck Trooper, I'll pray for ya to keep pluggin away...


Message was edited by: Luc

[hope16_05]

Luke,
its when you stop trying this it seems like good things happen. I had decided that it was ok to be single all through college and suprisingly, Brett had decided maybe 6 weeks before we met that he was going to remain single for the rest of his life and he said he was just finally ok with that and then I came along... He has kids, we have an injury. Both a package deal. I just hope that you are not so set on being alone that your one person misses meeting you.
Celebrate life and have fun while you are here. Not all women are that shallow! There are some good ones. Just like I have recently discovered good guys do exist!

When the right lady comes along, she will see htat this injury is in no way a deformity, its a test of how creative you can be! I amazing my boyfriend this week by simply showing him how I put my hair up. And then I was doing homework and he was amazed at how I type. lol, this stuff is normal to me but not to other. When a good lady comes along, she wont care if you wash your hair with one hand or type with one hand... She will love you for your personality! So go out and be confident, have a good time and see what happens. Life throws good things at you every once in a while!

Hugs,
Amy 21 years old ROBPI from MN

[TheTrooper]

Hey Luc,

Well you hit home bro I feel the exact same way, This is the first time I've had someone totally understand the situation.

Hope I do hope you are right, but Luc has a very strong point and your a nice girl. So it's probly hard for you to think that guys with BPI would be worse off because you can't go into the mindset of them.

Luc I like to think that there are girls that can just look over it. So I'm still going to believe that but I am glad to have someone who knows exactly what I'm going through.

You didn't have to come on this site and reply to my post, thanks for doing it man. This means alot to me.

[hope16_05]

You are totally right, I can never understand the mind of a man!

Just dont lose hope!!! Once you lose hope the injury wins. Dont let it limit how you live your life.

Good luck finding a great gal who can look past this injury!
Hugs,
Amy

[Luc]

Trooper,
You are very welcome. I'm sure you thought " Nobody in the whole stinkin world understands how hard it is for me to get a girl with this..."
It is weird isn't it? You are limited and akward on one side of your body, the other ( atleast for me) works and looks fine, and no body knows about it and they probably don't care 'cause " you should be happy you aren't blind/can walk/ have arms..... " Well, girls care, and life would go according to plan without it.. we would date 6 ft gorgous blonds and take off our shirts proudly LOL

Well my friend, we All understand here. We need to stick together, thats for sure.

[TheTrooper]

Hey man

That is actually exactly what I think about how one side of the body is normal and one isn't. I have been thinking about that for along time.

If you look at me from the right you wouldnt notice anything because my right side is broad muscular shoulder and arm. So that gets you thinking damn without this injury I would look great.

When you said according to plan that is me man thats what pisses me off the most I could see my life change through highschool because of it and I didn't follow the path I was supposed to.

Anyways man you seem to understand totally and are saying things that have been on my mind for years. When I go to the states next time we should grab a beer.