Non bpi question but I really need some positive vibes here...
my nephew whom we are raising is 15...his girlfriends mother bought him a puppy...unbenounced to us....she didn't ask or anything...I told him absolutely not the dog needed to go back...the mother called and I told her we were not keeping the dog ...I wished she just would of asked us first...who does this sort of thing? Ahhhhh...
am I going to make it...it's been a huge battle here all night long and I feel as if I'm going crazy....
...the worst part is now he tell us that her mother thinks a lot differently of us....
sorry just needed to vent....
non-bpi- help with teenagers
Re: non-bpi- help with teenagers
Rachel,
As I'm sure you realize, a puppy is a lot of work. So is the dog that the puppy will grow into. They need a lot of love and attention. While your nephew is in school or out of the house for any reason, the puppy/dog's needs will fall to you. I agree with you that you nephew's girlfriend's mother should not have given your nephew a puppy without consulting you first. A stuffed toy is one thing, but a living animal is another story altogether!
Joanie
As I'm sure you realize, a puppy is a lot of work. So is the dog that the puppy will grow into. They need a lot of love and attention. While your nephew is in school or out of the house for any reason, the puppy/dog's needs will fall to you. I agree with you that you nephew's girlfriend's mother should not have given your nephew a puppy without consulting you first. A stuffed toy is one thing, but a living animal is another story altogether!
Joanie
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Kath
- Posts: 3242
- Joined: Mon Nov 18, 2002 4:11 pm
- Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: I am ROBPI, global injury, Horner's Syndrome. No surgery but PT started at 2 weeks old under the direction of New York Hospital. I wore a brace 24/7 for the first 11 months of my life. I've never let my injury be used as an excuse not to do something. I've approach all things, in life, as a challenge. I approach anything new wondering if I can do it. I tried so many things I might never have tried, if I were not obpi. Being OBPI has made me strong, creative, more determined and persistent. I believe that being obpi has given me a very strong sense of humor and compassion for others.
- Location: New York
Re: non-bpi- help with teenagers
Rachel
Not only will the care of the animal fall to you but so will the expense of feeding and medical care.
A puppy is not a toy it's a huge responsibility. Your nephew is just beginning to be responsible for himself.
As for his girlfriends mother... she is way out of line.
She has some nerve imposing a dog on you and then telling your teenager your wrong for not accepting it.
Of course it's OK with her, she won't have the work.
I wonder, did their dog have pups and she needs to get rid of them? Was her daughter was given a pup and she is palming it off on you? Maybe you should buy the girl a pet ferret ... LOL... would she keep it. She has really overstepped her bounds and inserted herself into your family.
Dealing with a teenager is hard enough. Getting them to accept our decisions (which sometimes are so tough to make) is even harder. Sometimes we have to do things, as parents, that are difficult but in the long run best for our children. It is best for your family and your nephew to understand that taking in an animal is a family decision and one made by the adults/parent in the household. While we try to give kids a voice in our families they must learn, in the end, that the final decision belongs to the parents.
I don't think he will understand this decision especially since the girls mother is telling him you are wrong. He will be upset for a long time over it but you have to do what is best for the entire family.
Good Luck
Kath robpi/adult
Not only will the care of the animal fall to you but so will the expense of feeding and medical care.
A puppy is not a toy it's a huge responsibility. Your nephew is just beginning to be responsible for himself.
As for his girlfriends mother... she is way out of line.
She has some nerve imposing a dog on you and then telling your teenager your wrong for not accepting it.
Of course it's OK with her, she won't have the work.
I wonder, did their dog have pups and she needs to get rid of them? Was her daughter was given a pup and she is palming it off on you? Maybe you should buy the girl a pet ferret ... LOL... would she keep it. She has really overstepped her bounds and inserted herself into your family.
Dealing with a teenager is hard enough. Getting them to accept our decisions (which sometimes are so tough to make) is even harder. Sometimes we have to do things, as parents, that are difficult but in the long run best for our children. It is best for your family and your nephew to understand that taking in an animal is a family decision and one made by the adults/parent in the household. While we try to give kids a voice in our families they must learn, in the end, that the final decision belongs to the parents.
I don't think he will understand this decision especially since the girls mother is telling him you are wrong. He will be upset for a long time over it but you have to do what is best for the entire family.
Good Luck
Kath robpi/adult
Kath robpi/adult
Kathleen Mallozzi
Kathleen Mallozzi
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brandonsmom
- Posts: 1401
- Joined: Mon Nov 22, 2004 4:43 pm
Re: non-bpi- help with teenagers
Rachel,
I am with you 100% here. If my daughters boyfriend bought her a puppy without my knowledge, there would be trouble. We are a "DOG' family and love our dog, but a surprise is never welsome !!!
My children are 20, 17, 12 and 9 and there is no way they take care of the dog, not even the one that loves animals. I feed the dog, my hubby takes him out, we pay for the grooming !!1 There is no way, your nephew has the responsibility to take care of this animal....how about the shots, the vet bills, etc, etc !!!
The mother of the girlfriend is out of line, way out of line and she needs to bee told aobut it !!! So what if she thinks different of you guys, who cares.....these two will probably won't be together in two years let alone two months !!! We have a rule in our house......our house, our rules....I know it is hard, but it is the truth. My oldest moved out because he didn't want to abide by our rules. Now he is on the outside looking in and thinks my rules weren't so bad after all !!!
GAYLE
I am with you 100% here. If my daughters boyfriend bought her a puppy without my knowledge, there would be trouble. We are a "DOG' family and love our dog, but a surprise is never welsome !!!
My children are 20, 17, 12 and 9 and there is no way they take care of the dog, not even the one that loves animals. I feed the dog, my hubby takes him out, we pay for the grooming !!1 There is no way, your nephew has the responsibility to take care of this animal....how about the shots, the vet bills, etc, etc !!!
The mother of the girlfriend is out of line, way out of line and she needs to bee told aobut it !!! So what if she thinks different of you guys, who cares.....these two will probably won't be together in two years let alone two months !!! We have a rule in our house......our house, our rules....I know it is hard, but it is the truth. My oldest moved out because he didn't want to abide by our rules. Now he is on the outside looking in and thinks my rules weren't so bad after all !!!
GAYLE
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hope16_05
- Posts: 1670
- Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2003 11:33 am
- Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: 28 years old with a right obstetrical brachial plexus injury. 5 surgeries to date with pretty decent results. Last surgery resolved years of pain in my right arm however, I am beginning my journey with overuse in my left arm
- Location: Minnesota
- Contact:
Re: non-bpi- help with teenagers
Rach so sorry you are having to deal with this! What was that woman thinking! I like Kaths idea of getting her daughter a ferret. lol But really she is just trying to put trouble between you and your nephew. stay firm with the rules and someday your nephew will forgive you and realize you were doing good for him.
Sending you peace and strength to get through this!
Hugs,
Amy 21 years old ROBPI from MN
Sending you peace and strength to get through this!
Hugs,
Amy 21 years old ROBPI from MN
Amy 28 years old ROBPI from MN