some good news...not all guys are bad

This board is for adults and teens to discuss issues relating to BPI since birth (OBPI).
User avatar
hope16_05
Posts: 1670
Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2003 11:33 am
Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: 28 years old with a right obstetrical brachial plexus injury. 5 surgeries to date with pretty decent results. Last surgery resolved years of pain in my right arm however, I am beginning my journey with overuse in my left arm
Location: Minnesota
Contact:

Re: some good news...not all guys are bad

Post by hope16_05 »

Well, I am running with it and I am pretty sure he is the sweetest guy ever! So I had an idea for a fundraser to make money to donate to UBPN for camp and it involves karaoke/a DJ and so I asked Brett if he would do it and he said he would donate his time and if I set it up before he had all his equipment that he would cover the costs to use his companies stuff. I thought that was pretty amazing for him to offer.

So if anyone is close to Duluth, MN I will be setting up a fundraiser at a bar here (or that is the goal anyway) I am thinking it will be early to mid June But I will have to see what the bars will offer me. I will keep you all posted.


Tina, you are so right! I have never felt anything better than finding Brett! I love being with him and I so can not wait to see him again! Is it next Wednesday yet???

Hugs,
Amy
Amy 28 years old ROBPI from MN
JamieMarie'smommie
Posts: 178
Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2005 11:21 am

Re: some good news...not all guys are bad

Post by JamieMarie'smommie »

I'm so happy for u Amy that u found someone that could see beyond the BPI and see the real woman u are.

Amanda (mom to Jamie ROBPI 3yrs old)
Joanie
Posts: 499
Joined: Sat Aug 13, 2005 9:03 am

Re: some good news...not all guys are bad

Post by Joanie »

Amy,

I was out of town from 2/28 until 3/10, and it's taking me time to catch up with the message boards.

I'm so happy that you've found someone who sees who you truly are. I've been smiling the whole time I've been reading this thread. I second all that's been said here already. Enjoy this wonderful time in your life.

Joanie
Judy-T
Posts: 557
Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2001 11:59 am
Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: Right arm OBPI One surgery at age 40 Ulnar nerve retransposition
Location: Florida

Re: some good news...not all guys are bad

Post by Judy-T »

I am very happy for you Amy!!! Such good news!
Brett is a lucky guy to find a nice person like you!!!


Message was edited by: Judy-T
TheTrooper
Posts: 15
Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 12:24 am

Re: some good news...not all guys are bad

Post by TheTrooper »

Great to hear congratulations.

I have my doubts though all your stories are the same in that your all women. I am a dude and havent had a girlfriend for over a year when I was younger the girls loved me now I'm not so sure. I am going to college in september and I'm not confident that girls can look by my injury. I can see a chick liking me at first then being scared away, besides most girls are shallow anyways so I'm pretty much screwed. They all want big guns and so on.
Carolyn J
Posts: 3424
Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2004 1:22 pm
Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: LOBPI. I am 77 yrs old and never had a name for my injuries until 2004 when I found UBPN at age 66.

My injuries are: LOBPI on upper body and Cerebrael Palsy on the lower left extremities. The only intervention I've had is a tendon transplant from my left leg to my left foot to enable flexing t age 24 in 1962. Before that, my foot would freeze without notice on the side when wearing heels AND I always did wear them at work "to fit in" I also stuttered until around age 18-19...just outgrew it...no therapy for it. Also suffered from very very low self esteem; severe Depression and Anxiety attacks started at menopause. I stuffed emotions and over-compensated in every thing I did to "fit in" and be "invisible". My injuries were Never addressed or talked about until age 66. I am a late bloomer!!!!!

I welcome any and all questions about "My Journey".
There is NO SUCH THING AS A DUMB QUESTION.
Sharing helps to Heal. HUGS do too.
Location: Tacoma WA
Contact:

Re: some good news...not all guys are bad

Post by Carolyn J »

"Mr. Trooper",
So sorry for you and your injuries. The emotional ones are the hardest ones to face. I hope you get the courage someday and stop blaming women.

FYI, attitudes can be a turn off for College girls.

Carolyn J
LOBPI/69-overaged adult.


Message was edited by: Carolyn J
Carolyn J
Adult LOBPI
TheTrooper
Posts: 15
Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 12:24 am

Re: some good news...not all guys are bad

Post by TheTrooper »

I never blamed women all I was doing was admitting that I am worried about what will happen. I do not have the self confidence I once had.

All I said was I am worried that girls will be shallow towards me, maybe I read your reply wrong but it seems your taking a shot at me which is cool, get in line.

To the thread maker I didn't mean to hijack this thread your post just made me want to respond. I am happy for you good luck sounds like a nice dude.
User avatar
hope16_05
Posts: 1670
Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2003 11:33 am
Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: 28 years old with a right obstetrical brachial plexus injury. 5 surgeries to date with pretty decent results. Last surgery resolved years of pain in my right arm however, I am beginning my journey with overuse in my left arm
Location: Minnesota
Contact:

Re: some good news...not all guys are bad

Post by hope16_05 »

Hey Brian,
Its ok to hi jack the thread, my title was kinda mean sounding after seeing a guy reply. Sorry. I guess I lost all confidence in guys for the longest time. I could see how a guy would have the same problem.

When you are ready, work on your self confidence, tell yourself every day that there are good people out there and sometimes it just takes time to meet them. The time will come that you finally meet the woman of your dreams who doesnt see your injury as an issue. And maybe there are several people that we will all meet that dont see our injuries as issues. who knows? Good luck with the transition to college, college can be fun if you respect yourself!

If you are anything like the rest of us that have bpis then there is a lucky girl out there waiting to meet you! Some woman will be very lucky to steal your heart some day! But dont rush it, anything worth having is worth waiting for.

Hugs,
Amy 21 years old ROBPI from MN and happily dating the most amazing guy ever!
Amy 28 years old ROBPI from MN
Baeta

Re: some good news...not all guys are bad

Post by Baeta »

I'm glad to hear you have found someone you really care about that cares about you! It's hard to get into relationships when you think you're going to be judged (i let my BPI keep me from agreeing to date until i was like 18). Then you realize they don't care about the injury, they just care about you. My fiance doesn't even notice that my arm is injured, he just shrugs it of because it really doesn't matter. Good luck you you!
Kath
Posts: 3242
Joined: Mon Nov 18, 2002 4:11 pm
Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: I am ROBPI, global injury, Horner's Syndrome. No surgery but PT started at 2 weeks old under the direction of New York Hospital. I wore a brace 24/7 for the first 11 months of my life. I've never let my injury be used as an excuse not to do something. I've approach all things, in life, as a challenge. I approach anything new wondering if I can do it. I tried so many things I might never have tried, if I were not obpi. Being OBPI has made me strong, creative, more determined and persistent. I believe that being obpi has given me a very strong sense of humor and compassion for others.
Location: New York

Re: some good news...not all guys are bad

Post by Kath »

I was wondering when a guy would jump in!

I personally was always more attracted to someone's personality and general behavior than I was to looks.
Of course in the good old days of the early 60's I admit I would not date a man who could not dance. That was my one true prejudice.

I have been married for 43 years and met my husband 44 years ago. He never noticed my arm and I had to keep explaining it to him. I do not have a mild injury.
I am from the "Happy Days" generation. We dated a lot and did not get serious too quickly. I never felt that someone really paid that much attention to my arm. Most of my male friends never noticed my arm and I always had to explain. If it bothered someone I am glad I did not realize it. I still can't remember the name of the OBPI who said on this board "our arms are great filters". We get rid of the shallow people.

I hope you can regain your confidence before heading off to college. Your arm should NEVER define you. You are always more than and arm. Only you can let someone make you feel bad about you. I am sure it's hard sometimes in our society that is so focused on body...
Lasting relationships are based on mutual respect and caring not on superficial beauty. Beauty fades but a good and caring person just get better with age... like fine wine.

Off the soap box...

Kath robpi/adult
Kath robpi/adult

Kathleen Mallozzi
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