After nine years he left
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cristina
After nine years he left
Remember me, My name is Cristina and I once posted a question about handling relationships. Well I am devasted my 9 year boyfriend has left me for someone else and it hurts like no other pain I have ever endured. and of course I blame everything on my arm because I couldn't be open about my disability for 9 years I always hid I never talked to his family about it I always thought that it would be better that way everytime I would meet his friends I felt less of a person although I have a profession. I have always been worried about what other people think. I have never been happy with myself. I just wish I was normal and this had never happened to me.
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Carolyn J
- Posts: 3424
- Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2004 1:22 pm
- Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: LOBPI. I am 77 yrs old and never had a name for my injuries until 2004 when I found UBPN at age 66.
My injuries are: LOBPI on upper body and Cerebrael Palsy on the lower left extremities. The only intervention I've had is a tendon transplant from my left leg to my left foot to enable flexing t age 24 in 1962. Before that, my foot would freeze without notice on the side when wearing heels AND I always did wear them at work "to fit in" I also stuttered until around age 18-19...just outgrew it...no therapy for it. Also suffered from very very low self esteem; severe Depression and Anxiety attacks started at menopause. I stuffed emotions and over-compensated in every thing I did to "fit in" and be "invisible". My injuries were Never addressed or talked about until age 66. I am a late bloomer!!!!!
I welcome any and all questions about "My Journey".
There is NO SUCH THING AS A DUMB QUESTION.
Sharing helps to Heal. HUGS do too. - Location: Tacoma WA
- Contact:
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hope16_05
- Posts: 1670
- Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2003 11:33 am
- Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: 28 years old with a right obstetrical brachial plexus injury. 5 surgeries to date with pretty decent results. Last surgery resolved years of pain in my right arm however, I am beginning my journey with overuse in my left arm
- Location: Minnesota
- Contact:
Re: After nine years he left
Christina,
I am so sorry to hear this!!! I have often wondered about relationships too as I havent has any serious relationships. I am still trying to accept that I cant let this injury rule my life in the dating world. But so far, it is winning. I guess I dont really have anything helpful to tell you since I havent had a serious relationship. But I am so very sorry to hear that this has happened to you!
I wish you the best of luck getting through this and that the right guy finally does come along and that you are comfortable enough to be completely open with him and his family/friends.
many hugs coming your way!!!
Amy 20 years old ROBPI from MN
I am so sorry to hear this!!! I have often wondered about relationships too as I havent has any serious relationships. I am still trying to accept that I cant let this injury rule my life in the dating world. But so far, it is winning. I guess I dont really have anything helpful to tell you since I havent had a serious relationship. But I am so very sorry to hear that this has happened to you!
I wish you the best of luck getting through this and that the right guy finally does come along and that you are comfortable enough to be completely open with him and his family/friends.
many hugs coming your way!!!
Amy 20 years old ROBPI from MN
Amy 28 years old ROBPI from MN
Re: After nine years he left
Cristina,
I sent you an e-mail.
Joanie
I sent you an e-mail.
Joanie
Re: After nine years he left
When I was younger I remember I didn't want people to know I was different. No one can tell I have an OBPI unless I pointed it out. But once i got older and was open about it I realized that most people really don't care.
I think its ok to have insecurities about our arms, because most non-BPI people have insecurities about their bodies too. I think the trick is not letting it get to you too much, which can sometimes be easier said than done.
I'm sorry to hear about your situation but try to hang in there, and try to remember all the good things about your self.
Becky
I think its ok to have insecurities about our arms, because most non-BPI people have insecurities about their bodies too. I think the trick is not letting it get to you too much, which can sometimes be easier said than done.
I'm sorry to hear about your situation but try to hang in there, and try to remember all the good things about your self.
Becky
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Kath
- Posts: 3242
- Joined: Mon Nov 18, 2002 4:11 pm
- Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: I am ROBPI, global injury, Horner's Syndrome. No surgery but PT started at 2 weeks old under the direction of New York Hospital. I wore a brace 24/7 for the first 11 months of my life. I've never let my injury be used as an excuse not to do something. I've approach all things, in life, as a challenge. I approach anything new wondering if I can do it. I tried so many things I might never have tried, if I were not obpi. Being OBPI has made me strong, creative, more determined and persistent. I believe that being obpi has given me a very strong sense of humor and compassion for others.
- Location: New York
Re: After nine years he left
Christina
I e-mailed you and hope that you will soon be feeling better. Take it one day at a time. Never let your arm define you.
Kath robpi/adult
I e-mailed you and hope that you will soon be feeling better. Take it one day at a time. Never let your arm define you.
Kath robpi/adult
Kath robpi/adult
Kathleen Mallozzi
Kathleen Mallozzi
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Carolyn J
- Posts: 3424
- Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2004 1:22 pm
- Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: LOBPI. I am 77 yrs old and never had a name for my injuries until 2004 when I found UBPN at age 66.
My injuries are: LOBPI on upper body and Cerebrael Palsy on the lower left extremities. The only intervention I've had is a tendon transplant from my left leg to my left foot to enable flexing t age 24 in 1962. Before that, my foot would freeze without notice on the side when wearing heels AND I always did wear them at work "to fit in" I also stuttered until around age 18-19...just outgrew it...no therapy for it. Also suffered from very very low self esteem; severe Depression and Anxiety attacks started at menopause. I stuffed emotions and over-compensated in every thing I did to "fit in" and be "invisible". My injuries were Never addressed or talked about until age 66. I am a late bloomer!!!!!
I welcome any and all questions about "My Journey".
There is NO SUCH THING AS A DUMB QUESTION.
Sharing helps to Heal. HUGS do too. - Location: Tacoma WA
- Contact:
Re: After nine years he left
Cristina,
There is a lengthy discussion of our(OBPI's)Self Esteem Issues somewhere on this, the adult mesage Board. I'll try to find the Topic Thread and bump it up for you.
I'm praying for you ,
Carolyn J
LOBPI/69
There is a lengthy discussion of our(OBPI's)Self Esteem Issues somewhere on this, the adult mesage Board. I'll try to find the Topic Thread and bump it up for you.
I'm praying for you ,
Carolyn J
LOBPI/69
Carolyn J
Adult LOBPI
Adult LOBPI
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swhite1
- Posts: 295
- Joined: Mon Oct 16, 2006 4:15 pm
- Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: Bad fall in June of 2006
LTBPI - Location: right here in Texas
Re: After nine years he left
Wow Christina, I am very sad and upset for you and with you.
My name is Scott I don't remember you mostly because I am all too often lost in cyberspace. In between message boards and one finger surfing the internet and only then for particulars then I'm gone. I don't stay in any one place for long and when I do and when I post I try to make it worthwhile if not a bit tongue and cheek. I try not to be serious about things I can not control. Anyway I felt I should offer up a males' ...whatever it is I'm about to offer.
I am sad you have felt that 'this' was something to hide as if you were ashamed of 'this' or yourself. You didn't ask for 'this'. You certainly didn't go out on the street and solicit 'this' like it were a drug or something else. To have been in a relationship as you were for nine years shows some kind of moxie. I'm willing to bet that you weren't lax in your part of that relationship either. That you carried your own weight and then some because I know from trying to keep a stable, clean, supplied and stocked household for my seventeen year old son and myself I know nothing is easy for us. Normal you say? You were born with 'this' weren't you? How in the heck could 'this' be anything but normal for you? I've heard it said 'tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.' Or was it 'better to have played football and lost....? I don't know were I was going with this but I do know that for 51 years I was left handed and now I'm right. So how can that be wrong? You mention you have a profession... well one year after I retired from civil engineering, I had a fight with spider and lost. A lot. But what I gained is a new sense of courage. I read more and more about this particular sense courage every time I log into this site and I read how you guys have modified water-ski harnesses and motorcycles and the lot and carry onward and upward with your lives. I've never read a thing, not even a mention of how somebody hid 'this' this way or that. I feel saddened every time I learn of our newest member to the club. The club that no one wants to be a member of.
So Christina that in a nut shell from an original nut is why I am sad for you and upset with you. I sure hope you've pulled your bootstraps up dusted yourself off and got back on that horse. Huh?
See ya down the road a piece.
Scott
My name is Scott I don't remember you mostly because I am all too often lost in cyberspace. In between message boards and one finger surfing the internet and only then for particulars then I'm gone. I don't stay in any one place for long and when I do and when I post I try to make it worthwhile if not a bit tongue and cheek. I try not to be serious about things I can not control. Anyway I felt I should offer up a males' ...whatever it is I'm about to offer.
I am sad you have felt that 'this' was something to hide as if you were ashamed of 'this' or yourself. You didn't ask for 'this'. You certainly didn't go out on the street and solicit 'this' like it were a drug or something else. To have been in a relationship as you were for nine years shows some kind of moxie. I'm willing to bet that you weren't lax in your part of that relationship either. That you carried your own weight and then some because I know from trying to keep a stable, clean, supplied and stocked household for my seventeen year old son and myself I know nothing is easy for us. Normal you say? You were born with 'this' weren't you? How in the heck could 'this' be anything but normal for you? I've heard it said 'tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.' Or was it 'better to have played football and lost....? I don't know were I was going with this but I do know that for 51 years I was left handed and now I'm right. So how can that be wrong? You mention you have a profession... well one year after I retired from civil engineering, I had a fight with spider and lost. A lot. But what I gained is a new sense of courage. I read more and more about this particular sense courage every time I log into this site and I read how you guys have modified water-ski harnesses and motorcycles and the lot and carry onward and upward with your lives. I've never read a thing, not even a mention of how somebody hid 'this' this way or that. I feel saddened every time I learn of our newest member to the club. The club that no one wants to be a member of.
So Christina that in a nut shell from an original nut is why I am sad for you and upset with you. I sure hope you've pulled your bootstraps up dusted yourself off and got back on that horse. Huh?
See ya down the road a piece.
Scott
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crw
Re: After nine years he left
Christina,
I cannot understand entirely as I am not you. But if you can believe it, I know where you're coming from. while I never intentionally hid my injury - I never really acknowledged it. When your father screams at you to stop showing weakness, to never cry, and never show pain...you tend to not tell people about the injury. I'm 23 now and for literally the first time in my life I'm dealing with emotions I've stored up for just as long. While my boyfriend is supportive, he cannot truly understand. He can be there, but he cant feel the way I feel. We're working on that.
I'm so sorry to hear that you were left for another woman, but most of us have been there too...It sucks to think it may have been over your arm...but after nine years of "your arm"...I dont think that'd be the case, do you? But as they all said - we tend to have self esteem issues, etc. And as you said, not wanting to talk about it ever with him and just keeping "it" hidden.
Understandable.
I cant offer any advice or life changing words. I havent had the privelage of even having a relationship last more than a year and even with someone that was truly "great".
I figure we get there eventually though.
what does Dori say? "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming."
I wish you all the best in the world. Take it one day at a time. Think of this as a new start and a YOU that doesnt need to hide your arm.
Caiti (23 ROBPI)
I cannot understand entirely as I am not you. But if you can believe it, I know where you're coming from. while I never intentionally hid my injury - I never really acknowledged it. When your father screams at you to stop showing weakness, to never cry, and never show pain...you tend to not tell people about the injury. I'm 23 now and for literally the first time in my life I'm dealing with emotions I've stored up for just as long. While my boyfriend is supportive, he cannot truly understand. He can be there, but he cant feel the way I feel. We're working on that.
I'm so sorry to hear that you were left for another woman, but most of us have been there too...It sucks to think it may have been over your arm...but after nine years of "your arm"...I dont think that'd be the case, do you? But as they all said - we tend to have self esteem issues, etc. And as you said, not wanting to talk about it ever with him and just keeping "it" hidden.
Understandable.
I cant offer any advice or life changing words. I havent had the privelage of even having a relationship last more than a year and even with someone that was truly "great".
I figure we get there eventually though.
what does Dori say? "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming."
I wish you all the best in the world. Take it one day at a time. Think of this as a new start and a YOU that doesnt need to hide your arm.
Caiti (23 ROBPI)
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Carolyn J
- Posts: 3424
- Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2004 1:22 pm
- Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: LOBPI. I am 77 yrs old and never had a name for my injuries until 2004 when I found UBPN at age 66.
My injuries are: LOBPI on upper body and Cerebrael Palsy on the lower left extremities. The only intervention I've had is a tendon transplant from my left leg to my left foot to enable flexing t age 24 in 1962. Before that, my foot would freeze without notice on the side when wearing heels AND I always did wear them at work "to fit in" I also stuttered until around age 18-19...just outgrew it...no therapy for it. Also suffered from very very low self esteem; severe Depression and Anxiety attacks started at menopause. I stuffed emotions and over-compensated in every thing I did to "fit in" and be "invisible". My injuries were Never addressed or talked about until age 66. I am a late bloomer!!!!!
I welcome any and all questions about "My Journey".
There is NO SUCH THING AS A DUMB QUESTION.
Sharing helps to Heal. HUGS do too. - Location: Tacoma WA
- Contact:
Re: After nine years he left
How are you doing, Cristina?
Thinking of you .
((((HUG))))
Carolyn J
Thinking of you .
((((HUG))))
Carolyn J
Carolyn J
Adult LOBPI
Adult LOBPI