Our third son, Dawson Wayne, was born 11 days ago! He has stolen our hearts and the joy we feel over his birth will not soon fade, but Dawson suffered a BPI during delivery. When they explained it to me the pediatrician basically said that some nerves had been stretched during delivery and that he may or may not regain use of his left arm. My husband is a PTA so he contacted an OT friend of his who specializes in pediatrics and got us in to see her on Friday. Dawson started out with movement of his fingers and hand but zero movement in the rest of his arm, after a few days of working with him at home the tone in his arm has improved but there's still no spontaneous movement. That's our story in a nutshell.
My question to everyone is this: I suffered with PPD after the births of my first two sons. It went undiagnosed until nearly a year after my second son's birth. I cannot afford to fall into the same place again knowing that I need a sharp mind to help my baby boy through this mess. How is everyone dealing with the fear and anger that seem to just overwhelm me at times? We have not begun to address the issue of who's fault this is. We've just been focused on finding out what we can do to help our son but my level of anger is so high at times. So how do you do it? How do you avoid post partum depression when you are so worried about your son, so overwhelmed with emotions and the wounds in your son's arm and your own heart are so fresh?
Post Partum Depression
Re: Post Partum Depression
DW Mom,
I can't help you with your questions. I have no children, therefore I have never experienced PPD. Still, I want to welcome you to the UBPN message boards. I'm glad that you found UBPN, but sorry that you needed to find us. You can post on any forum, and there are no dumb questions. I'm sure someone with some knowledge of PPD will address your questions.
Joanie, LOBPI, 58 years
I can't help you with your questions. I have no children, therefore I have never experienced PPD. Still, I want to welcome you to the UBPN message boards. I'm glad that you found UBPN, but sorry that you needed to find us. You can post on any forum, and there are no dumb questions. I'm sure someone with some knowledge of PPD will address your questions.
Joanie, LOBPI, 58 years
Re: Post Partum Depression
Did you let your doctor know about your previous experience with PPD? You should probably speak with your general practitioner and deal with it NOW. Generally speaking, the worse depression gets, the harder it is to treat, and the more medication is required. You should talk to your doctor to take care of it before it gets bad. I believe almost every one here with a child with OBPI has struggled in one way or another with anger, questions, etc. Focusing on your love for you child, dealing with treatment for their injury, and time can all help with the struggle. You are not alone - it does get better. Also, make sure you deal with any physical issues you may have as a result of the baby's traumatic birth. You do not want to let that go, either.
Re: Post Partum Depression
Thank you both for the replies. I appreciate the welcome and also appreciate Amy's response.
The OB does know about my history and they had people at the hospital talk to me about PPD. Of course when they talked to me I was the pillar of strength comfortably nestled into a warm world of denial expecting someone to say, "Oh the doctor is wrong. Your son is fine." After the OT appointment where they talked about Dawson not learning to crawl like other kids it hit me. I've been able to stay on top of it most of the time and beyond the usual baby blues I've kept busy enough to stay focused on my sweet little man and wonderful family. I'm reluctant to go the medication route right now due to breastfeeding. If things get worse that would change my priorities. Your advise is very sound and I think I will call my regular physician just to talk to him about it. I'm pretty sure I'm doing the super-woman thing right now and maybe even talking to a counselor would help some. I feel like I REALLY need to vent. As for my physical issues, I just have back pain which isn't a big deal. I've had it on and off during the entire pregnancy and with a PTA for a hubby I'm better off than most.
The OB does know about my history and they had people at the hospital talk to me about PPD. Of course when they talked to me I was the pillar of strength comfortably nestled into a warm world of denial expecting someone to say, "Oh the doctor is wrong. Your son is fine." After the OT appointment where they talked about Dawson not learning to crawl like other kids it hit me. I've been able to stay on top of it most of the time and beyond the usual baby blues I've kept busy enough to stay focused on my sweet little man and wonderful family. I'm reluctant to go the medication route right now due to breastfeeding. If things get worse that would change my priorities. Your advise is very sound and I think I will call my regular physician just to talk to him about it. I'm pretty sure I'm doing the super-woman thing right now and maybe even talking to a counselor would help some. I feel like I REALLY need to vent. As for my physical issues, I just have back pain which isn't a big deal. I've had it on and off during the entire pregnancy and with a PTA for a hubby I'm better off than most.
Re: Post Partum Depression
DW Mom:
I too, want to welcome you to the Boards. There is a lot of information on this site and I encourage you to take full advantage of it. We have a Medical Resources page for doctors names and numbers, and and Information for New Parents page, where you can learn about bpi.
As for your PPD. Run to your physician. I am a full proponent of breast feeding. I breastfed my first 3 kids. Juliana (my bpi child) had sucking issues and I had to stop. She is a healthy, active 7 3/4 year old. I say that, because as much as I beat myself up over not breast feeding, I knew I had to stop. My point is: YOUR HEALTH IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. And your mental health is included in that. It took me years to admit that I was depressed over Juliana's birth and injury. When I finally got to psychologist it was such a relief! So, at the minimum, please go see a counselor. This was NOT, NOT your fault. But it is a frustrating and difficult issue for parents. Your husband should go too. Dads have different issues than moms, but they have issues with this as well.
There is also a great group of parents that formed a support group in Cincy, so I encourage you to ask at CCH to be put in touch with them.
good luck,
ask anything,
claudia
I too, want to welcome you to the Boards. There is a lot of information on this site and I encourage you to take full advantage of it. We have a Medical Resources page for doctors names and numbers, and and Information for New Parents page, where you can learn about bpi.
As for your PPD. Run to your physician. I am a full proponent of breast feeding. I breastfed my first 3 kids. Juliana (my bpi child) had sucking issues and I had to stop. She is a healthy, active 7 3/4 year old. I say that, because as much as I beat myself up over not breast feeding, I knew I had to stop. My point is: YOUR HEALTH IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. And your mental health is included in that. It took me years to admit that I was depressed over Juliana's birth and injury. When I finally got to psychologist it was such a relief! So, at the minimum, please go see a counselor. This was NOT, NOT your fault. But it is a frustrating and difficult issue for parents. Your husband should go too. Dads have different issues than moms, but they have issues with this as well.
There is also a great group of parents that formed a support group in Cincy, so I encourage you to ask at CCH to be put in touch with them.
good luck,
ask anything,
claudia
Re: Post Partum Depression
DW Mom,
Welcome!
I had my daughter at the end of April....I was considering going back on meds (I was on for depression and some others before I got pregnant)....I am pretty sure my midwife told me that there is at least one compatible with breastfeeding (zoloft?????...I can't remember for sure).
I definitely understand not wanting to go on medicine....I found that just talking to an unrelated party helped....even more than friends or family just because they have no emotional connection to you.
I do agree with the PPs about talking to a doctor, just to make sure nothing gets out of control.
good luck with everything! I have found this board to be a great place to come for support and advice!
Take care,
Amie
Welcome!
I had my daughter at the end of April....I was considering going back on meds (I was on for depression and some others before I got pregnant)....I am pretty sure my midwife told me that there is at least one compatible with breastfeeding (zoloft?????...I can't remember for sure).
I definitely understand not wanting to go on medicine....I found that just talking to an unrelated party helped....even more than friends or family just because they have no emotional connection to you.
I do agree with the PPs about talking to a doctor, just to make sure nothing gets out of control.
good luck with everything! I have found this board to be a great place to come for support and advice!
Take care,
Amie
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cassidysmom
- Posts: 167
- Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 8:56 pm
Re: Post Partum Depression
I'm so sorry that this has happened to your son. The emotion involved is bad enough without PPD added to the mix....I had slight PPD with my first and then with Cassidy I kind of felt a little bit detached from her...I know that sounds horrible but I just couldn't seem to bond with her at all for about the first 4 or 5 months...I loved her of course but it was just really different...I feel that it may have been mild PPD again but who knows...you're in such shock in the beginning and you are in a way grieving too....so I think it's natural to go from happy to have your little boy to mad to sad to sobbing! I know I did.....I guess with your history I would really keep and eye on things and try and separate the PPD feelings with the normal grieving feelings that are probably taking place...every time someone new posts about these feelings it takes me back and I really do hurt for you! Just know that it does get easier and just make sure you educate yourself as much as possible....you can never know too much.... I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.
Dawn,
mommy to Cassidy 15 months ROBPI
Dawn,
mommy to Cassidy 15 months ROBPI
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Tanya in NY
- Posts: 935
- Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 10:51 am
- Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: I am Mom to Amber, injured at birth. I serve on the Board of Directors for UBPN, and am a labor/delivery nurse, too.
- Location: NY State
- Contact:
Re: Post Partum Depression
I want to extend a warm welcome to the boards. I'm sorry that your delivery turned out as it did and your beautiful son was injured.
Let me say as a mother/baby nurse who talks about post-partum depression with my patients during discharge teaching, YOU NEED TO ADDRESS IT NOW! Do not wait as it will get worse before better. You need to take care of yourself in order to take care of your baby. You can't just focus on his health as then your health will suffer and by default his health and that of those around you will suffer as well.
Keep breastfeeding! Good for you. There are medications that are safe with breastfeeding and that are affective. You need to talk with your midwife or OB doctor about your history of post-partum depression and you also need to talk about your feeling about your birth experience. Maybe talking about these two topics won't be to the same person, but you need to talk about both. I'm surprised with your history that it wasn't suggested to start on medication (such as Zoloft) at about 36 weeks pregnancy to PREVENT post-partum depression! Taking medication for a treatable condition that you cannot control or 'snap out of' isn't the 'easy way' or the 'quick fix' by any means. Taking medication (if this is what you and your provider feel is the best solution) is a way for you and your family to remain healthy for a medical condition. It's not shameful. You have risk factors (a history of depression, a traumatic birth), and you are reaching out for help.
Also, consider finding a therapist or counselor to talk to. I've always found being able to write things down as therapeutic...like writing in a journal. A great friend who listens (doesn't give advice, but listens) or going so far as to get a licensed counselor are options, too.
Best wishes to you and your family, and please continue to post here with questions, answers, and comments.
Tanya in NY
Amber's Mom, ROBPI, 4 1/2 years old
Let me say as a mother/baby nurse who talks about post-partum depression with my patients during discharge teaching, YOU NEED TO ADDRESS IT NOW! Do not wait as it will get worse before better. You need to take care of yourself in order to take care of your baby. You can't just focus on his health as then your health will suffer and by default his health and that of those around you will suffer as well.
Keep breastfeeding! Good for you. There are medications that are safe with breastfeeding and that are affective. You need to talk with your midwife or OB doctor about your history of post-partum depression and you also need to talk about your feeling about your birth experience. Maybe talking about these two topics won't be to the same person, but you need to talk about both. I'm surprised with your history that it wasn't suggested to start on medication (such as Zoloft) at about 36 weeks pregnancy to PREVENT post-partum depression! Taking medication for a treatable condition that you cannot control or 'snap out of' isn't the 'easy way' or the 'quick fix' by any means. Taking medication (if this is what you and your provider feel is the best solution) is a way for you and your family to remain healthy for a medical condition. It's not shameful. You have risk factors (a history of depression, a traumatic birth), and you are reaching out for help.
Also, consider finding a therapist or counselor to talk to. I've always found being able to write things down as therapeutic...like writing in a journal. A great friend who listens (doesn't give advice, but listens) or going so far as to get a licensed counselor are options, too.
Best wishes to you and your family, and please continue to post here with questions, answers, and comments.
Tanya in NY
Amber's Mom, ROBPI, 4 1/2 years old
Tanya in NY
Amber's Mom, ROBPI, 13 years old
Amber's Mom, ROBPI, 13 years old
Re: Post Partum Depression
I definately think you should talk to you dr about he PPD. Also talk to your husband and make sure is looking out for signs that you have PPD.
About your son. Please don't lose hope yet. My son also only moved fingers and hand and he learned to crawl normally and has pretty good use of his arm now at 18 months. of course I don't know what the outcome will be for your son, but you have to keep hope right now and it sounds like you've already got therapy going and that is very important! I will keep you and Dawson in my prayers.
About your son. Please don't lose hope yet. My son also only moved fingers and hand and he learned to crawl normally and has pretty good use of his arm now at 18 months. of course I don't know what the outcome will be for your son, but you have to keep hope right now and it sounds like you've already got therapy going and that is very important! I will keep you and Dawson in my prayers.
Re: Post Partum Depression
What a warm welcome from everyone! I was having a down-day today because of some unrelated issues and its already looking better. I'm so glad I found these boards. I do have tons of questions. The information I'm reading is so confusing because depending on where you look the info on treatment contradicts itself. I'm going to get a little more organized and then I'll probably bombard this board with questions.
The PPD has definitely started so I set up an appointment with my old psychiatrist today. Thank you to everyone for the wake-up call. Its so easy to forget how serious depression can get and I think I was just trying to not think about it much.
I've noticed in the past week that my anger has become just this feeling of being tired. I know that's probably depression so I'll be glad to talk to the psychiatrist about the options.
The great news is that the little man's arm movement has improved quite a bit already! He moves it when he has temper tantrums and even holds it up to his chest quite often now by himself! I'm so excited about that! He's also eating like a champ and gained 13 ounces and grew a half inch in a week!!!
Now if I could just get him to eat more during the day than at night... lol.
Thank you again to the Moms who replied to my board. What a help you've been!
The PPD has definitely started so I set up an appointment with my old psychiatrist today. Thank you to everyone for the wake-up call. Its so easy to forget how serious depression can get and I think I was just trying to not think about it much.
I've noticed in the past week that my anger has become just this feeling of being tired. I know that's probably depression so I'll be glad to talk to the psychiatrist about the options.
The great news is that the little man's arm movement has improved quite a bit already! He moves it when he has temper tantrums and even holds it up to his chest quite often now by himself! I'm so excited about that! He's also eating like a champ and gained 13 ounces and grew a half inch in a week!!!
Now if I could just get him to eat more during the day than at night... lol.
Thank you again to the Moms who replied to my board. What a help you've been!