Off topic opinions needed.........

[ptrefam]

4 yrs ago a counselor at my kids high school encouraged my oldest daughter to file a false report with social services against me. It was subsequently dropped as it was determined to be false, but I have a file there for the next 18 yrs and this makes me sick. Every year since I have, at registration, made it abundantly clear that under no circumstances is this counselor to have any contact with my children. That any time he enters a room they are in they have my permission to leave the room. He is not my children's regular counselor. When I wrote to the school board registering a complaint about it they told me it was "not his job to determine if it was true". When I also had a son at the school and all he would have had to do was ask him about it. My daughter was upset with me about another situation so her best friend's mother said if she told the counselor this she would be able to live with them. Well anyway to make a long story short, last fri, after a girl called my younger daughter a name and my daughter retaliated by calling her a name, the girl went to this counselor and complained about my younger daughter. At this point the counselor who knows that he is not to have any contact with my children called her to his office. She went to the waiting area where there were several kids. Then he came out and asked her to step into his office in private. I am just sick about this!!! I am so upset!!! What should I do? Fortunately my daughter said "I can't come in there". When he asked why my daughter said my mom said I can't be in a room with you. He said he would have someone else handle it. Which is what he should have done firstly!!! Then I would have no issue.
Sue

[F-Litz]

If it was proven to be false then I would have your record wiped clean. They should do this within 6 months of the false charge. (at least here in PA that's how they do it). My ex filed charges against me with social services to try to get full custody of my eldest and the police came to my home with a warrant to search for weapons and drugs (and found lou's completely rusted shut b.b. gun that he bought when he was 13 and my presciption high blood pressure meds. Wowee.) They also interviewed my neighbors, friends and family and finally expunged my file in 6 months.

I would also see if it's possible to file a restraining order against this counselor.

I understand your angst. I still do not want to go anywhere near my ex-husband's attorney - I actually quit a job when I found out he was on the board of directors.

Good luck with this.
-francine

[ptrefam]

I filed a complaint with social services and asked to have the record wiped out. They said it is closed but not gone until 8 yrs after the youngest child reaches 18. Thus it is there for 18 more years.
Sue

[brandonsmom]

Sue,
I now for a fact that a "FALSE REPORT" not only gets wiped clean within 6 months, if not sooner, also, they should have asked you if you wanted charges against that reportee, which in this case is the conselor. I would call the worker again and ask to speak to her supervisor. The only time that things are kept on file is when the charges are founded and then the rule of thumb is 6 months after the child is 18 !!!! GAYLE

[Jessica'smom]

Not to defend what the counselor did (especially the most recent contact with your child), but school employees are required by law to file a report if they suspect any abuse. You know that you did not do anything and it was proven false. I guess it's horrible to know someone even thought it.

[brandonsmom]

That counselor, should know how to read children. We had an incident when Brandon was in kindergarten. He fell off his bike and bruised the bridge of his nose, and both of his eyes really bad, they were even really swollen, on Monday when he returned to school. His teacher asked him what happened and with a serious face, he looked at her and said, "MY Momma punched me right here in the nose" She said "WOW Brandon did you punch her back" and he said"I Certainly did" She used her many years of teaching to differeniate truth from fiction, she says you can tell when a child is abused and Brandon is not !! She called me that evening to tell me just how Brandon made her day !!! I think the couselor should have used better judgement !!!

Sue, how old was your child at the time the report was filed (THE ONE WHO FILED THE REPORT?)

GAYLE

[ptrefam]

She was 17. She was mad because her best friend had done some very inappropiate things while they ran an errand for me. I told her maybe she should spend less time with her if that was how she acted. She interperated it to mean... you cannot spend time with her. I had 3 kids in the school system and at NO time had they ever had any question about being abused. There was never any to question about. The worst injury any of my childern has had happened at school, until Dustin's accident. The counselor even said there was no history and he didn't think it was true. But, still he had it reported. All he had to do was take 2 mins of his time to ask Dustin, who went to the same school at the time, to explain what was going on. I was informed "that is not his job", yet reporting a story of abuse that he doesn't believe is? I would think you would do what you could to find the truth if you intend to mess up someone's life like that. I did file a complaint with Social Services, I spoke with the head and that is where I was informed that a closed file on me will be on record for 8 years after the youngest child in the house turns 18. He is 8 now so that's another 18 years. It just makes me sick. My daughter who was manipulated to make the report does feel bad. She said she didn't have any idea that reporting it to a school counselor would do this. I know she still cries about it. She has asked her younger sister "How can mom love me". I do know that the friends mother was very manipulative and that shortly after the incident my daughter severed ties with that family completely as she was then able to see what they were trying to do. The mother wanted my daughter to live there because my daughter worked and hers didn't. My daughter would chauffer her daughter around for her. My daughter paid for everything they did. At the time there was a new baby in their house so the mother was loving that she didn't have to share her car or pay for the older daughter.
I am so upset that this counselor, who knows he is to have absolutely no contact with my children, would call my younger daughter down to his office. I want so badly to report him. I know, childish. But, I just can't get over this.
Sue

[F-Litz]

I don't think it's childish at all - you do what you feel best to protect your children. Maia had a horrible kindergarten teacher who verbally and emotionally abused her and all the other children with an IEP who were in her classroom. She took one year off (I thought they fired her) but then she was back. I had a meeting with the principal and told her that she is not to have any contact with this person in any way - not even as a substitute for an emergency - I rather pick Maia up from school if that were to happen. If they didn't honor my request I would have filed a restraining order and I warned the principal about that, too. And if that ever happened to Maia again - I wouldn't be complacent about it and let her work through the year - she'd be out of there in a flash. You do what you need to do to protect your children. And I do think you need to fight social services over them not cleaning out your file. Like I said - here it is 6 months. You should not have to have this on your back. Good luck and don't feel guilty about this.


Message was edited by: F-Litz

[brandonsmom]

Sue, In Illinois, once they turn 16 DCFS cannot do anything anyway, unless it is sexual abuse. So the counselor did it our of spite. Check the laws where you live, I think it was WISCONSIN, I would b fighting this till I WON !!! GOOD LUCK !!! GAYLE

[shlecki]

Ok I know that kids need protecting from parents when they are being abused. My problem is when the kids come home with Social Services numbers on their folders and told they are being abused if they are being punished in a way that they are not comfortable with. My heavens I dont know about you but punishment still doesnt make me comfortable and Im old. ha/ha So you punish a child and they dont like it they have the number to call right at hand. My son got mad at his old sister and got is folder and started to call the number. I ask him who he was calling he told me he wanted to call to see if she was abusing him. If I wouldnt have ask him I would have has DSF on my porch to get my kids. Sometimes people just go to far!!