TERRIFIED TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY

[mlynn]

I REALLY THOUGHT I COULD BUT THE THOGHT OF IT SCARES ME SO BAD. I WANT MY TUBES TIED!

[angelsmom]

Hi again, email me if you want to talk seems like a tough subject and a very big deciene to make. I mayself have been "fixed"..lol after have our BP baby but that was due to already haveing 3 other kids and I made the choice before Angel was even born. Feel free to email chat with me anytime melanie_doss@yahoo.com

[brandonsmom]

I knew I could not, so myhusband not wanting any doctor to ever touch me again, took care of that for me.....LOL !!! Brandon was also my fourth. I have approached my husband recently about getting his reversed, but he said no way, he almost lost a child and a wife last time, we weren't trying for a repeat performance !!! I know others on this board who have others, but if you are looking for support and understanding, I am with you !!!! GAYLEmom of Brandon

[Kristie]

I have gone on to have another child after my child who had BPI. And I would like to get pregnant again. For me the fear lies in how to deliever not in having kids. I almost think I could just keep having babies!

[Olivias mommy]

I am also scared to have another child. I do want more kids- I always knew I wanted at least 3- but it is scary for me too. I know my husband is also nervous. I just want to do it right next time!

I really don't think that there is any way that my husband would allow another doctor to pull on another baby's head like that- or allow another nurse to apply fondal pressure. I feel that knowledge is power and we could prevent another BPI. Maybe that is naive- but I really believe we could. What scares me is this: before Olivia's injury I had never heard of a BPI. What else could happen that I am uninformed or underinformed about? Fear of the unknown. That is the worst for me.

I know exactly where you are with this. I feel the same way. Part of me also feels like I CANNOT let this injury take over our lives. We have to move on- after all, if I cannot move on- how could I ever expect my daughter to? there is so much to take into consideration. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Veronica
Mom of Olivia, 3, Bi-OBPI

[Cara]

I had many of the same feelings. After four years and our life reaching a new type of "normal" we had our second child. It was a planned c-section and everything went so well. We had our third daughter in January. She has congenital heart defects and was delivered semi-emergency c-section. (They admitted me to the hospital after a fetal echocardigram showed she was developing hydrops and going into heart failure and delivered her the next morning.) There are no garuntees in life, but don't let fear hold you down. Think of how much better off you are now, knowing what you know. Most of use here never heard of BPI until our kids were affected by it. Now we know the meassures that must be taken to help prevent it. I wish you the best of luck regardless your decision. I did have my tubes tied after this pregancy because I could not face the possiblity of having another baby with a heart deformity.

[mlynn]

THANK YOU ALL I KNOW I WILL NEVER HAVE ANOTHER CHILD BY BIRTH. THEY DO NOT TELL YOU ALL THE HORRIBLE THINGS THAT CAN HAPPEN. IT HURTS ME AND IT HAS REALLY PUT A STRAIN ON MY RELATIONSHIP. I READ ABOUT ALL THESE HUSBANDS WHO ARE SO INVOLVED. MINE HAS NEVER EVEN LOGGED ON TO THIS SITE. WE HAVE BEEN ALL OVER THE US TO DOCS AND NOW WE ARE IN DEEP FIN TROUBLE. MY FAMILY JUST DOES NOT GET IT I FEEL LIKE THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO TRULY UNDERSTAND IS THE FRIENDS I MET ON HERE. I HAVE NOT BEEN ON FOR AWHILE BECAUSE IT JUST MADE ME SICK OVER ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE THE GREAT A B C D DOCTOR DEBATE. I WONT EVEN POST ABOUT ANY DOC ANYMORE. I AM JUST VENTING AND I NEED IT SO BAD. I HAVE LOST SOME OF YOUR EMAILS AND I WOULD LIKE TO CHAT YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. MINE MSHATRAW@AOL I AM SO DEPRESSED LATELY. I CANNOT WAIT TILL CAMP IF I GET THE CHANCE. THANKS FOR ALL OF YOUR UPLIFTING THOUGHTS I WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DEAL IF I COULD NOT HAVE FOUND THE UBPN. YOU ALL ARE ANGLES
LOV
MICHELLE

[hope16_05]

Michelle,
Please dont let your baby's bpi limit your family size. Sibligns are a great form of free therapy. And they help to protect us even though many of us dont need protecting.

About the involved father thing, not all dads are involved. Mine tries to put me in a bubble so I dont break and it drives me crazy! Every time myt arm comes up he always says that it never should have happened. Well, yea, I know that but it did so my life has to go on. And it does and so far its pretty great! Sure I have faces challenges and therapy and 4 surgeries and soon to have my 5th but thats ok with me. So far it has shaped my personailty so I cherish the things that I have and take a lot less for grantid. Like this weekend I went to get my hair cut and I had my hair up in my regular pony tail and told the lady I wanted my pony tail this lond as I showed her. Well she took out my pony tail and then asked how it was cut before. I told her the last lady that cut my hair left it in the pony tail and just cut off the pony tail. She hands me my hair tye back and tells me to put it back up. When I told her I cant she looked at me like I have two heads. So I had to explain that I have a bpi and cant use my arm against gravity. The only way that I can put my hair up is to lay down she seemed pretty shocked, lol.

People take that for grantid, I dont, I appreciate that ability way more!

Your baby was injured and more than likely you were either physically injured or in the least emotionally injured. The happiest moments you should have had were robbed when your baby was hurt. But the good news is your baby will be fine! And you have a whole bunch of awesome people you can turn to here to help the emotional healing along.

Many big hugs and I hope that if it is your heart that you want more children you have them and dont let a bpi stop you.

Amy 20 years old ROBPI from MN
hope16_05@hotmail.com

[brandonsmom]

MLYNN,
Not all the dads are involved. My hubby couldn't be because he was military and he wasn't allowed to fight for my child. So we fought, and fought and fought. He was out this past weekend and him and Brandon were throwing around the ball and he later said to me"Thank you honey for all that you did to make Brandon who he is today" Wow I thought he never even noticed. Your Husband might now what you are doing, but doesn't want to admit that his child was injured by negligence. This injury has caused strained relationships, yours is not the first, and it sure won't be the last !!! GAYLE

PS, My husband has never logged onto this forum either, but when I see something that he needs to know, I print it and lay it on the table next to his chair, he will always pick it up and read it, if for no other reason than he is NOSY !!!! LOL


Message was edited by: brandonsmom

[Kwest]

I was terrified as well. I waited six years before I worked up the courage, but trust me, it is so worth it. I'm so glad that I did. I can't imagine life without my little boy.

The key is to find a doctor you trust and are comfortable with. I went through two OBs before I found one that addressed my concerns and would allow me to decide what kind of birth I wanted. Although c-sections after BPI have been debated on these boards, I knew that is what I wanted. The first two said, "we'll see how things proceed and then we'll decide." I said, "sorry" and moved on. The second one actually blamed me for letting my weight get out of hand in the first pregnancy. I was in tears when I left the office. My third doctor said absolutely to a c-section. He had actually had a nephew with a minor bpi, so that helped. I had the c-section two weeks early, at his suggestion, to prevent a big baby (he weighed 8lbs.9ozs.)

Everything turned out great! Don't be afraid to demand the kind of birth you want. You know best and unfortunately most OBs still believe BPIs are unpreventable in most cases.

I also believe a sibling for my daughter has been a wonderful thing. Best wishes on your decision!