Anger Survey

[Stephanie]

Yes we try to stay positive here...Yes we are older and wiser and happier now...etc, etc.,
BUT!
Here it is: I am angry at the doctor who delivered me and changed the entire course of my life in just a few short minutes...angry that my parents never filed a lawsuit...angry at insensitive employers and co-workers that I've had to deal with...angry at every lopsided movement that I ever made while trying to do something that requires two hands...angry that my clothes never fit properly...angry at medical practicioners lack of knowledge about this injury...angry that my mother died before I ever found this network and could let her know that we were not alone...angry that I CAN'T wallpaper, build a three dimensional "anything",ever ski...not feel embarassed every time I have to clap my hands in front of anyone,tie a kid's shoelace without a big struggle,set my hair, switch hands when one is tired...I'll stop here because my list could run on and on.

It took me a long time to even get in the mood to write this post. Three days in fact! Had to psyche myself up to compose the list...this anger is by no means all consuming for most of us...just as situations arise...and even then, it is not always present.

-Stephanie

[Kathleen]

Stephanie

Thanks so much for expressing some of the things I feel too!

It took me so long to compose my post. I had just returned from a neurologist visit... and all I could feel was frustration at the present...grrrrrrrrrr
Thanks for saying some of the things I just some how could not get it together to express.....
Boy venting is good... even if I did not write it - you said it for me....
Thanks
Kath

[admin]

I play a lot of roles, mostly cheerleader, but there is one thing that makes me angry that I cannot help -- when I think about how perfectly healthy my baby was and that in a few short seconds she sustained a life-long injury. That makes me angry. But, what can we do about it now? We move on and do everything we can to help her get through this.

[admin]

1. I am angry at myself for gaining 55 lbs. during my pregnancy. If I had controlled my weight better, my son wouldn't have gotten so big, and his OBPI may never had come about.
2. I am angry at my ob/gyn for not doing or even making preparations to do a C-section, and for underestimating how big I was.

3. I am angry at my ob/gyn for making light of my son's injury, and for telling me "He'll be fine in a few days".
4. I am angry at the "expert" here in Buffalo, NY, for telling us to just take the "wait & see" attitude with our son. If she had been more knowledgable on these type of injuries, we would have gotten my son in to have his nerve transfer surgery when he was between 6-9 months, not at 11 months, which is past the ideal time.
5. I am angry at my husband and me for not going on the internet and doing research on OBPI's as soon as my son was born, instead of trusting the local doctors, who really don't know what they are talking about when it comes to these injuries.

[admin]

This is just a brief summary of those things I am concerned about. My son IS 22 years old - LEFT OBPI 1. I had to fight to get doctors to take his injuries seriously and forced them to send me on to specialists.
2. I had to take him to a heated pool and find out what the best exercies were no aquatherapists were recommended how many weren't given the chance to improve their lot
3. He has a learning disability also related to BPI this was not acknowledged till he was 17 and that only
occured through my persistance to want to know why he had problems at school
4. I concerned that he has no confidence and looks in the mirror several times a day to look at his arm and physique worried if people will notice
5. I am angry at a system that did not even anable him to obtain a medical specialist that would even look at his notes for an opinion to act in his best interests regarding compensation. I was more concerned with proceeding with litigation to make doctors more aware of the damage they do to the physical and mental well being of those injured. I figured it would make them take more care because it would cost them nothing else seems to get through to them
6. I am angry at the lack of understanding of the impact this injury has on the individual who is injured as well as their entire family,it impacts on everyone.
7. The total unawareness of the time it takes to do the ROM and all the other things to gain improvement.
8. The years you spend concerned with what the future
job prospects for those injured are.
9. The damage it does to the injured person's self esteem more help is definitely needed in this area

.

[Lindsey]

Hi all,
I'm usually not too angry about my injury, because I know how much worse it could have been. My injury is the result of getting stuck during birth and pulled out by my arm. But I had an uncle who got stuck during birth and didn't get enough oxygen, and was brain damaged because of it. He couldn't do anything for himself, and was rather like a large baby. I know that I could have been the same way had the doctor not pulled me out. But still...it bugs me that he didn't do what he should have done, which would have been to break my collar bone. That would have healed much easier, and supposedly wouldn't leave any permanent problems. As it is, I can't straighten my arm, raise my arm above a bit less than a 90 degree angle, etc. And I'm 16! Bluntly, there's not much that is going to change at this point. It stinks.

[Kathleen]

Hi Lindsey

Welcome to the board. I am glad that you are not that angry. But we all admit it stinks now that we know it did not have to happen.

Have you read any of the Awareness material? Also don't think nothing can be done. PT and other methods really help with keeping the arm straight and range of motion. I was loosing all range of motion and started PT again at 60 and it really helped!! Nancy had surgery at 47 and can raise her arm...

Welcome to the board if you have any questions just ask away...
Kath

[Lindsey]

Kathy,
Thanks for the welcome. I haven't read the awareness stuff, but I shall look into that. Anywayz, I know that some can still be done. We disscussed the option of surgery with Dr. Andrew Koman at Bowman Gray (Winston Salem, NC), and it was decided that my mobility is good enough that surgery wouldn't regain all that much, if any. And I've done physical therapy off and on through the years, and I'm sure it's helped somewhat. What bothers me most though is how I can't straighten my arm. It's mostly cosmetic, but my dream is to be an actress, and watching the video of my last play, I can see that on stage. It looks incredibly unnatural. But even with stretches, I'm not sure that it will ever be straight when I'm not forcing it to be. At one point in therapy, I could nearly straighten it with outside force, but this did nothing for when it was in a relaxed position. No one else may notice, but I DO. ::sighs:: Anywayz, that's mostly what I meant about nothing can be done. Though I'm game for any suggestions anyone might have!!
-Lindsey

[admin]

I went through the same thing with my daughter, eight years ago. I kept telling them that the labor didn't feel right. (I had just had a baby a year before.) They just kept telling me to breath. Then we get into the delivery room. OH MY! When the doctor realized that my baby couldn't come through, she freaked out. Lucky for me and my daughter my husband, (always level-headed) was there. He asked her if she shouldn't be doing something to get our baby out instead of going "What do we do" over and over. So My Husband suggested he pull on one of my legs and a nurse pull on the other and the doctor go in and push Steph's shoulders together, while another nurse help Steph out of the canal. The nurse pulled to soon and injuried Steph's nerve. In the end, Steph ended up with 2 dislocated shoulders, 2 dislocated hips, a lame left arm, bruising behind her eyes and all over her body. Then the kicker was, she was born in an Indian Hospital, but since we did not live in the right state, they refused to even see her again for a couple of years.

[admin]

We had our beautiful baby girl May 29th, 2002 and she suffered a broken right arm and a BPI to the left arm (Brenda - I saw your posting). We are still numb, depressed, overwhelmed and angry by what occurred. I was told I was having a 9 lb baby but had an 11 lb 8 oz baby instead naturally. Quite a different outcome than our first daughter (age 4) who weighed 7-6.

I am just getting the strength to read what's out here on this website. This experience is like a bad dream that you hope you are going to wake up from soon. Thanks to all who have shared the positive and the negative. Its helping me understand what to expect. We had never heard of this injury until it happened to our baby.