Currently there is a team of psychologists and therapists (PTs) writing an article about anger pertaining to bpi injuries.
Can you help them by writing a post about what you are angry about - concerning this injury.
Keep each item as short as you possibly can - as many items as you can think of.
Thank you.
-francine
ps - I know that we try to stay as positive as possible on here and I don't want to start a negative trend but I also think it would be helpful if we are able to just state what we are angry about....many of us hold it in and that's not good either.
Anger Survey
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Janny-scotland
- Posts: 17
- Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2001 5:52 pm
Re: Anger Survey
ok..heres my list......
1) nobody here, including myself seems to have any medical notes....where have all these notes gone and what are they trying to hide?
2)when my children fall and hurt themselves, i want so badly to pick them up...but cant!!
3) because im in so much pain, i dont feel able to hold down a 9-5 job therefore i feel my kids are suffering for my injury because as a single parent family ,we have to live off state handouts and i cant afford to buy them the things i want to buy.......all for someone elses mistake!!!
1) nobody here, including myself seems to have any medical notes....where have all these notes gone and what are they trying to hide?
2)when my children fall and hurt themselves, i want so badly to pick them up...but cant!!
3) because im in so much pain, i dont feel able to hold down a 9-5 job therefore i feel my kids are suffering for my injury because as a single parent family ,we have to live off state handouts and i cant afford to buy them the things i want to buy.......all for someone elses mistake!!!
Re: Anger Survey
After so many years living with Erbs, I guess I've either gotten used to it, or simply learned to control my anger. Since I'll never get used to what happened to me, I guess control is the key.
I can however remember in younger days being angry that it kept me from serving my country. Struggling to participate in gym class. Always the try outs in football, but NEVER making the team. Never knowing what it's like to field a "grounder" in baseball. Being asked as a kid what was wrong, and having no answers. The list is too extensive to go on. But you all know what I mean.
Although never treated differently by family and friends, I KNEW I WAS DIFFERENT in my heart. Very heavy thing to bear for a kid back in the 50's, when very little was known about BPI.
I may be the original Peter Pan and don't want to grow up, but I'm glad I did. Anger management, I feel I wrote the book.
Love to all!!!!!!!!
I can however remember in younger days being angry that it kept me from serving my country. Struggling to participate in gym class. Always the try outs in football, but NEVER making the team. Never knowing what it's like to field a "grounder" in baseball. Being asked as a kid what was wrong, and having no answers. The list is too extensive to go on. But you all know what I mean.
Although never treated differently by family and friends, I KNEW I WAS DIFFERENT in my heart. Very heavy thing to bear for a kid back in the 50's, when very little was known about BPI.
I may be the original Peter Pan and don't want to grow up, but I'm glad I did. Anger management, I feel I wrote the book.
Love to all!!!!!!!!
Re: Anger Survey
DITTO.................Michael............
I also have no anger at what was taken from my life without my permission. I guess I had so much going on when I was younger (helping raise 5 younger siblings) that my own trials and tribulatiions seemed unimportant. I was also never allowed to feel sorry for myself, and being surrounded by 5 other sisters and a brother who were all athletic DID make that hard at times
But, I was loved and that seemed to make even the worse scenarios tolerable.
As I got older I had other obstacles to overcome (rent/food/bills), and my arms again were the least of my worries. I did what I could do and moved on from things I couldn't. Don't get me wrong, I would have LOVED to have been picked for a team sport (other then last) and could have lived without the childhood name calling. BUT......I had/have a good life and there really is so little time to be angry and resentful. Life is wayyy to short to dwell on things that ARE NOT. And as we all know, it takes a lot more room in your heart to be angry then to be happy. I have chosen happy.......
I also have no anger at what was taken from my life without my permission. I guess I had so much going on when I was younger (helping raise 5 younger siblings) that my own trials and tribulatiions seemed unimportant. I was also never allowed to feel sorry for myself, and being surrounded by 5 other sisters and a brother who were all athletic DID make that hard at times
But, I was loved and that seemed to make even the worse scenarios tolerable.As I got older I had other obstacles to overcome (rent/food/bills), and my arms again were the least of my worries. I did what I could do and moved on from things I couldn't. Don't get me wrong, I would have LOVED to have been picked for a team sport (other then last) and could have lived without the childhood name calling. BUT......I had/have a good life and there really is so little time to be angry and resentful. Life is wayyy to short to dwell on things that ARE NOT. And as we all know, it takes a lot more room in your heart to be angry then to be happy. I have chosen happy.......
Re: Anger Survey
Atta Girl Tina!!!!!! Life IS too short.
Amen,
Amen,
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admin
- Site Admin
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- Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 9:59 pm
Re: Anger Survey
Thanks for asking, seems not many people do. I am angry, but mostly sad. I gave birth to my first child just three months ago, Tara Grace will be my last child. I am angry at the doctors for not preventing her injuries and mine. She should have been delivered C-section, but the 'on-call' doctors thought if I just pushed a few minutes more...Not only does she have Erb's Palsy, but they broke her arm as well 'pulling her out', among other injuries. June 2 we leave for Children's in TX, so that she may undergo her first surgery for nerve grafting. I am sad that her first airplane trip will be to have surgery. I am sad for any pain she may have and can't tell us and for all the surgeries she has to undergo just to be 'normal' to others. My beautiful little girl, has lessened my anger with her smile, however, I do cry for her.
Re: Anger Survey
I don't know if its anger... I am not sure... I think what I am feeling at present is frustration.
I had a very hard time answering this post because I don’t really feel angry. I had to think long and hard on this one. I was too busy trying to survive growing up and help support my Mom and myself. I had more important things to do then deal with what if's...
I was always too busy to focus what happened. I had to cope with reality. I just never really thought about it too much with any sense of anger or resentment.
I never shared my anger/frustration with ANYONE except my Mom & husband. I feel sad for my poor mother because the doctor who injured me lied and tried to blame her. She was told it was not her fault by other doctors but she still carried some guilt.
I am sad because I know that some of my siblings did not understand the constant attention I got they seem to feel that my birth changed their family. It did, but I was always told I made my Mothers life better and kept her young. Thank God for Mothers.
I really feel more frustrated.
I am frustrated that this injury disabled me long before it was necessary.
I am unable to do the things I want to anymore because once again this injury has created more challenges for me
I can no longer do so many things just because of my arms not because of a lack of ambition and that is FRUSTRATING.
I never thought I would have to deal with my arm once I matured.
I was always challenged at every turn but that did not bother me as long as I could function at the level I wanted to.
Now I can no longer do that. Because I look so "normal" I find once again I am forced to explain why I can't do something.
I am frustrated I have lost so much use of my unaffected arm and both my hands and nothing can be done about. Frustrated but not beaten.
I am frustrated because I have to explain this injury to doctor’s and medical professionals.
I am frustrated because I have to know what is wrong with me and search this website and the internet to find answers before I go to a doctor.
I am frustrated because I cannot get competent medical explanations of my personal injury. I have general information from the internet. I have had a few tests now, but only because I asked for them. I want to know the extent of MY injury. I feel I have that right yet find myself frustrated because I am the only one interested in finding answers. I hate it when some doctor says it’s the "old" injury DUH! I don't have all the information on the old injury. I was never allowed to read my records and by the time this came into law they were gone.
I had an enormous bout of real intense anger after the 20/20 show. It was the first time I ever felt that type of anger in connection with this injury. That show was particularly painful for me. I was angry that a newborn was left in pain and ignored! If someone did that to an animal they would be in real trouble and possibly in jail. The neglect shown to the obpi infant is just inhuman. I was so appalled by the video showing the baby with its tiny arm mangled and no one even concerned for the baby and the pain of the trauma. I still feel a surge of anger when I think of that show It makes me very ANGRY that a newborn is in pain in the nursery and NO one CARES. It frustrates and makes my blood boil when I think of all the little ones who have to go through so much and no one takes RESPONSIBILITY – OR ACCEPTS THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR ACTIONS I hate seeing so many babies with OBPI.
It makes me angry to think that no one can make a doctor go back for a refresher course on how to deliver a baby safely into this world.
Wow -- I just lifted a lot off of my chest! I am not an angry person. I am usually a happy camper. I misplaced or lost my sense of humor on this post... Sorry the above sounded like a piety party. Will someone pass me the party hats and some cake and candy or at least we should get "goodie bags" for answering this post!
I would not be honest if I did not say that this injury may have changed the course of my life. And I love some of the directions it has taken me in. I would never have met so many wonderful people if I had not found UBPN and had this injury. I would never have tried so many different tasks if I did not have to prove to MYSELF that I could do anything. I would never have learned self-control, anger management, acceptance, independence, reality, and my sense of humor would not have developed the way it did. It has always been my greatest cover-up.
I am who I am
I am the way I am
Because I am obpi.
I would not change that part of me.
Because then I would not be me.
Just my two cents... and now who is going to send me the chocolate for my pity party... LOL
Kath
I had a very hard time answering this post because I don’t really feel angry. I had to think long and hard on this one. I was too busy trying to survive growing up and help support my Mom and myself. I had more important things to do then deal with what if's...
I was always too busy to focus what happened. I had to cope with reality. I just never really thought about it too much with any sense of anger or resentment.
I never shared my anger/frustration with ANYONE except my Mom & husband. I feel sad for my poor mother because the doctor who injured me lied and tried to blame her. She was told it was not her fault by other doctors but she still carried some guilt.
I am sad because I know that some of my siblings did not understand the constant attention I got they seem to feel that my birth changed their family. It did, but I was always told I made my Mothers life better and kept her young. Thank God for Mothers.
I really feel more frustrated.
I am frustrated that this injury disabled me long before it was necessary.
I am unable to do the things I want to anymore because once again this injury has created more challenges for me
I can no longer do so many things just because of my arms not because of a lack of ambition and that is FRUSTRATING.
I never thought I would have to deal with my arm once I matured.
I was always challenged at every turn but that did not bother me as long as I could function at the level I wanted to.
Now I can no longer do that. Because I look so "normal" I find once again I am forced to explain why I can't do something.
I am frustrated I have lost so much use of my unaffected arm and both my hands and nothing can be done about. Frustrated but not beaten.
I am frustrated because I have to explain this injury to doctor’s and medical professionals.
I am frustrated because I have to know what is wrong with me and search this website and the internet to find answers before I go to a doctor.
I am frustrated because I cannot get competent medical explanations of my personal injury. I have general information from the internet. I have had a few tests now, but only because I asked for them. I want to know the extent of MY injury. I feel I have that right yet find myself frustrated because I am the only one interested in finding answers. I hate it when some doctor says it’s the "old" injury DUH! I don't have all the information on the old injury. I was never allowed to read my records and by the time this came into law they were gone.
I had an enormous bout of real intense anger after the 20/20 show. It was the first time I ever felt that type of anger in connection with this injury. That show was particularly painful for me. I was angry that a newborn was left in pain and ignored! If someone did that to an animal they would be in real trouble and possibly in jail. The neglect shown to the obpi infant is just inhuman. I was so appalled by the video showing the baby with its tiny arm mangled and no one even concerned for the baby and the pain of the trauma. I still feel a surge of anger when I think of that show It makes me very ANGRY that a newborn is in pain in the nursery and NO one CARES. It frustrates and makes my blood boil when I think of all the little ones who have to go through so much and no one takes RESPONSIBILITY – OR ACCEPTS THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR ACTIONS I hate seeing so many babies with OBPI.
It makes me angry to think that no one can make a doctor go back for a refresher course on how to deliver a baby safely into this world.
Wow -- I just lifted a lot off of my chest! I am not an angry person. I am usually a happy camper. I misplaced or lost my sense of humor on this post... Sorry the above sounded like a piety party. Will someone pass me the party hats and some cake and candy or at least we should get "goodie bags" for answering this post!
I would not be honest if I did not say that this injury may have changed the course of my life. And I love some of the directions it has taken me in. I would never have met so many wonderful people if I had not found UBPN and had this injury. I would never have tried so many different tasks if I did not have to prove to MYSELF that I could do anything. I would never have learned self-control, anger management, acceptance, independence, reality, and my sense of humor would not have developed the way it did. It has always been my greatest cover-up.
I am who I am
I am the way I am
Because I am obpi.
I would not change that part of me.
Because then I would not be me.
Just my two cents... and now who is going to send me the chocolate for my pity party... LOL
Kath
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admin
- Site Admin
- Posts: 19873
- Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 9:59 pm
Re: Anger Survey
i am angry because no one every helped me make a plan or somekind of map of options, so i could live my adult life. the school systems are not able to cope with our injury at all if i had been in a wheel chair they would have given more assistance. because if i do go out and have a little fun swimmin or camping i pay with weeks of pain. the dumb look on the docs face when you are explaining your injury. their willingness to prescribe addictive pain killers to a 13 year old kid. my mothers unwillingness to accept my limitations.
society's unwillingness to accept what things i can do.
i went to shriners 18 years and all they did was chronicle my progress and because i did so much more than they thought i would be able to they never looked into what can be done more. our lack of options our lack of options. never getting a full nights sleep. never having a painless day,and twitchin alot.the boredome of being disabled. not being able to hold my kids when they where babys. the cruelity that near minded people and there kids can inflict on all disabled people. people who have never struggled for anything.but i digress and my hands are goin numb.i could go on and on.do what you can for as long as you can.
sorry i have issues
chris
society's unwillingness to accept what things i can do.
i went to shriners 18 years and all they did was chronicle my progress and because i did so much more than they thought i would be able to they never looked into what can be done more. our lack of options our lack of options. never getting a full nights sleep. never having a painless day,and twitchin alot.the boredome of being disabled. not being able to hold my kids when they where babys. the cruelity that near minded people and there kids can inflict on all disabled people. people who have never struggled for anything.but i digress and my hands are goin numb.i could go on and on.do what you can for as long as you can.
sorry i have issues
chris
Re: Anger Survey
Chris
Never say you are sorry for having issues. You are entitled to them.
Living alone with this injury is hard. Not being able to do things is hard... people expecting us to try harder is a reall pain in the neck.
Coming here and letting it out is good... because we all understand - I can identify with many of the issues you have.
so please don't say your sorry.... you deserve to let it out and to vent... its good not to be isolated with this injury anymore...
Kath
Never say you are sorry for having issues. You are entitled to them.
Living alone with this injury is hard. Not being able to do things is hard... people expecting us to try harder is a reall pain in the neck.
Coming here and letting it out is good... because we all understand - I can identify with many of the issues you have.
so please don't say your sorry.... you deserve to let it out and to vent... its good not to be isolated with this injury anymore...
Kath