Well I was scared to death but it was the best thing in world to bring in a sibling for my older child. My younger one challenges her - gives her motivation to beat her little sister...and she does! What hurts though is my youngest could do cartwheels all over the house and the grocery store and could beat my older one (one with the injury) at swimming and basically every sport except for running!
Every one of us has their strengths and we just have to find them. The best thing in the world you could give your child is a sister or brother that understands! My youngest will say - "I am so proud of my sister"
By the way - I personally went with a c-section on baby #2 - and the doctor understood my fears because I would never want to hurt another one of my kids. On a happy note - my oldest completely forgives me - says " how in the world could you have known Mom??" And she is so strong! So anyway the two sisters are a team - same as what will happen with you!:)It's scary but you can do it!
Christy
Guest - I just re-read your reply. When my injured child (4 years older) got her new little sister she asked me "why did you let that happen to me and not to her??" It completely broke my heart... I explained it to her that I just didn't know that the doctor would harm her and how much I loved her. If I would have known I would not have picked that doctor but I wanted to make sure that the same thing would not happen to her little sister.... She has no grudges - just understanding that we did the best we could do at that time and she is very happy that nothing happened to her little sister . She is proud of all her sister can do. She admires her younger sister and the younger one admires the older one for being so tough! Everything works out!
We are in tne same boat, but my fears are totally about the actual birth experience. I will definately (god willing) have another child, it's just a matter of how the baby will be birthed. I still struggle with just having a c section, but I am unwilling to go w/o an epidural...it hurt with the epidural...I can't imagine w/o one! And psychologically I don't think I can actually push...I would be too scared...So I don't know...
I had my first child when I was almost 42, and that child was BPI. THe fact of her BPI had nothing to do with my age or health, the delivery was flawed by ignorance. If I were younger, given all the joy that I have known in this first child, I would have many more. The only difference is that if there were any concern about the size of the child, I would have a c-section.
Kids are great, and if your love is abundant: Just do what God and love permits...
Alyssa's is injured from birth. When I found out I wasn preg. with Megan I sat down and cried. Then I got up called my regular doctor (who has dealt with Alyssa) made an appointment and took all the research I could find about the risk factors about having another baby with BPI and decided for a c-section. I took all the papers to the ob/gyn that me and my regular doc picked and told the new doc up front what I wanted. For the c-section they numbed me from the breast down and put mirrors so I could still she megan as she was born. I was up and walking about 30 mins out of recovery. Alyssa is never mad because she not megan is injured. Megan does motivate Alyssa to mtry harder, but by the same token when Alyssa get frustrated its her little sister Megan who gives her a hug and tells her everything will be ok now go try again. My girls are 3years apart. At first I took megan to all of alyssas appts. but then found out that she got really board so now when alyssa has an appt Megan gets "extra grandma and grandpa time" she loves it.
Good luck with your decisions but, remeber you never know till you try it.
Hi, I am pregnant right now and my last child has a bp injury. (He's 3 years old and had two surgeries and on going therapy) So, yes he requires a lot of time and attention. I had to go around and interview several OB doctors before I found one that I was comfortable with. I can honestly say that two kids is more fun and sometimes even easier. When I had my first child she required dad and I to do all the entertaining. Once she got a sibling they love to run off and play together and are best of friends. I think the best gift you can give a child next to loving parents is a sibling. I alwasy feel sorry for only children.
For my husband and I it was never a question as to whether or not we would have another baby. It was how we would handle the delivery.We have two daughters, both mine from a previous mariage. The youngest(who is now 3) with BPI. We are expecting our third in early Feb. We spent many mths searching for answers. We most certaintly wanted to avoid another injury.There are so many different circumstances involved with how an injury occurs, but for us we felt it was inexperienced Dr.'s and nurses along with delivery position that was our problem.We went through all the posibilties of birth you could imagine. We have seen 10 different Dr.s We decided that the best choice for our family was to have our baby in a natural birthing center (within a hospital should an emergency arise) with a midwife and a doula. We will be able to exercise certain positions specifcally for preventing shoulder dystocia. We are also watching my diet and weight gain, hoping for a smaller baby. Our two daughters who are 3 & 4 can't wait for the new arival. I don't want to take up to much of anyones time but, If you would like to discuss anything further please feel free to email me anytime. I would love to share. The Holmans
Sorry, I just finished reading the other posts and saw your other one. Our daughters get along just like any other little girls who are 16 mths. apart. Sometimes best friends and other times not. But, they never question why one of them is "different" than the other. They both know that "sissy's" arm is "different" because that is the way for whatever reason God made her and it doesn't mean she can't do anything her big sister can do. Even if it means finding a way to do things a little different. I don't think that having another baby(hopefully w/out an injury) will make them think or feel any differently either. We just try and focus on being a family. There are times when things are hard juggling preschool,therepy, surgery, and everthing else that daily life brings. But it's life, and you just deal with it the best you can.We enjoy every minute even when it is hard!
I went to a doctor who would agree to a scheduled c-section. the small incicion was a cake walk compared to the trauma I had to my bottom region in the vag births, as well as what happened to my injured daughter. I had 2 vag births peviously, and the third was the c section. I took vicodin for pain 1 week then advil after that.But by 2 weeks I was fine. It was wonderful not to have the stress of labor to bear. Especially since I had it 2 horrible times. Oh by the way my third child was not planned- too much wine on our anniversary! ooops! good luck baby making!
Our first child was our bpi child and I was very nervous about having another baby but knew it was absolutly the best thing we could do for her. Our son was born 2.5yrs later by c-section. The poor thing spent his first 3 years stitting on the side of the therapy pool watching his sister swim. It was hard on him but also very good because he learned to behave and sit still for an hour at a time. The therapists were very good about giving him attention and including him in what they could too.
We had our 2nd daughter by c-section last year and she has been a complete joy to our family. We are also Foster Parents to a 5 month old and we are expecting again come this March. This time around I felt led to have a v-bac. I am very nervous about it but I do feel this is what we should do. We are traveling 2.5 hrs away to a Dr I trust and have already discussed at length the plan and if spontanious birth does not happen by 38-39 weeks we will do another c-section.
Having more children has not bothered Kallie at all and she has never said why me and not them.
In my opinion I think a child with any disablity should not be an only child if possible. My mother had a 3rd child born with spina bifida and she said the best thing to ever happen was the birth of my 4th sister. Of course she went on to have 3 more children plus 3 she adopted, (2 of which have spina bifida)3 foster kids and 3 more possible adoptions by next year. Can you do the math? That means by next year she could have 13 kids. And only 2 are over 21! (I am the oldest).
I guess I am a little prejudice on the subject!
