Feeling guilty

[hope16_05]

Christina,
Dont feel guilty! Your pain has to be worse than mine if you are on meds for it and I know how bad mine was getting before this summer and all the therapy I had.

Maybe if you are still feeling guilty try going back to school for something that wont be as physically taxing. What type of work do you enjoy that does not put you in a great deal of pain? You should be able to get most of your school paid for since you have little ones.

I hope that the SSD thing works out for you! Good Luck!
Hugs,
Amy 19 ROBPI from MN

[Kath]

Christina
I felt guilty so I kept on working and cause more pain and this also contributed to more secondary injuries.

You have a full time job with the twins.
BPI is not a minor injury and the pain associated with it at times can be debilitating.
You are old enough now where you are paying for years of compensation due to this injury.

You need to protect your so-called "uninjured arm".
The wear and tear we subject our unaffected arms to is really impossible to describe.
We compensate so well we do not realize until it's too late how much damage we do to our arms.
The twisting and torquing we do, to compensate for our lack of function, impacts our spinal column when we are just performing normal active daily living tasks.
As adults we have more extensive normal day to day functions and these require more compensation causing wear and tear on our arms.

You have nothing to feel guilty about and you are not pampering yourself.
If I had pampered my self just a little, instead of trying to prove to myself that I could do anything I wanted to.
Perhaps I would have less secondary issues and less pain.

Kath (adult 66/robpi)

[brandonsmom]

Christina,
I am not BPI but have a gammet of medical issues that make some days good and sometimes bad. My children are older, but still did not understand. After a few years they discovered that Mom cannot be wonderwoman and they had to deal with the good and bad days. Don't underestimate your pain, I did and pay for it everyday. Take time to take care of yourself.......no one else will.....trust me...GAYLE

[Carolyn J]

Christina,
Excuse me Kath & Gayle, but I say "Ditto", you really took the words out of my mind & heart....
I'm prayin' for you, Christina.
HUGS,
Carolyn J

[rachelcasa]

Here! Here!! Secondary issues are a huge problem. Every day I wonder what on earth I will be like in another ten years. I NEVER have any help around here. I carry in all the groceries, do all the cleaning, work, go to school, yard work, garden, have two children, did you say wonder woman?? And I just started a job!! When I say anything about how burning my neck and shoulders are I really get the "blank stare." Mom is in pain? Mom's wonder woman. She's not supposed to be in pain. The days really tend to be over-whelming and I say if you have the courage to go for it then do it.

Sorry,,wow..that felt good to get that off my chest.
*S*

[Carolyn J]

OKKKAYYY Rachel,
NOW is the time to let up a little & start DELAGATING some jobs, working MOM,you. Please re-read Kath's post & reconsider all those things you do at home. You don't want our 2ndary injuries in your 40's,50's.&up,do you??. FYI, I HAD to delagate Scott to do all laundary recently because the Laundary Room is at the opposite end of the hall--about a block walk in our apartment BLDG. He does a great job of it--Why did I wait this long??..duh!, as kids say....
Delagate,kiddo!
HUGS,
Carolyn J


Message was edited by: Carolyn J

[Kath]

Rachel

I've been there, done that and am very sorry I did not listen to my body telling me not to be "wonder woman".

If I had it to do over.... someone else would bring in the bundles... like shopping and making sure the family is there to carry them in from the car.

I would most definitely NOT do all the yard work.
I can't do any of those things anymore because I just wore out the unaffected arm and misused my hands so that they barely function.

I hope that scares you and any other young woman out there proving they are "wonder women" or that they can do anything a two armed person can do.

I have a FLASH for you.
My friends tell me they always insisted on help carrying bundles and never did the heavy work.
They have arm aches and pains with age but they did not abuse themselves trying not to be wimps!
They always thought I was nuts and did too much...
Now when it's too late, I realize they were right!

Kath

[rachelcasa]

Kath and Carolyn,
Yes, I know...it's just a matter of actually doing the delgating. I know it will affect me later down the road so I do need to start doing that. I appreciate your help and am going to show my family this e mail so they believe me. *S*
Hope all is well.
*HUGS*
Rachel

[Kath]

Rachel

Learn from us "old timers".

It does not matter if they believe it or not!
Be strong and stick to you guns!

I just want you to know that my husband has to do the food shopping, all the gardening without my help now.
If I had taken it easy with some things I might be able to still do those things.

It is my fault I never asked or expected help. I was so independent I did not really want anyone to help be do things.
I think we are fiercely independent and because we, as obpi children, had to be expected not to ask for help.
Our parents had to teach us to learn to do things for ourselves.
I guess we develope an attitude that we never need help or that it is weak and lazy to expect others to do things we can do.

Now, my dear, you know better from our poor example... so do better and don't work with the burn in your neck!

Don't be a hero... it's ok to ask for help and to expect it!

Jumping off my high horse and taking a break... LOL...

Kath (robpi/adult)

[Carolyn J]

THANK YOU Kath!! Again, I "Ditto" everything you said above. Let's keep saying all this we experienced, and pay for now, & keeping hoping the Young'uns get this message soon!
Kath says everything I want to say sooo much better than I.It's because I learned how to really express verbally at a LATE Age,--almost 45-age 50--. I do envy the Irish,you are BORN with the gift!
HUGS,
Carolyn J