SPANKING?

[admin]

I HAD POSTED A FEW DAYS AGO DIDNT SEE IT HERE. MY 2 BOYS HAD A HARD TIME LISTENING TO ME. I AM NOT THE ONE THAT HAS EVER BELIEVED IN SPANKING, HOWEVER I DID IT ONCE AND NOW ALL I HAVE TO DO IS TELL THEM I'D DO IT AGAIN, AND RIGHT AWAY THEY LISTENED! MY LITTLE ONE SAID HIS HEART WAS BROKEN, BUT IT HURT ME MORE BELIEVE ME. MY KIDS WERE OUT OF CONTROL AND I LET IT GET THIS FAR. I KNOW WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN BELIEFS BUT NOW MY 7 YEAR OLD IS DOING BETTER IN SCHOOL. I JUST THINK HE WAS LOOKING FOR SOME OF MOMS ATTENTION.

[mlynn]

ANY SUGGESTIONS ON TAMING 2 YR OLDS? HE SPITS, HITS, THROWS THINGS, SAYS NO, YOU NAME IT? I SOME TIMES FELL HE IS SENSORY AND, I READ THE BOOK BUT, OUR DOCS SAY NO? SO I FEEL MAYBE SPOILED OR FLAT OUT MEAN? HE CAN BE SO SWEET AND ROTTEN IN A MATTER OF MINS. THANKS.

[Joy in FL]

Come up with a plan on how to discipline him and stick to it. The thing I found the kids in my life needed were clear expectations and realistic follow through. If I said they would get a time out for 15 minutes they got a time out for 15 minutes.

It has been a long time since I have dealt with a two year old. From what I do remember it is important to get the "rules" in place now! Come up with consequences that are age appropriate.... time out... wow I must be tired I can't think of anything other than time out! If you tell him to pick up his toys and he does not then you need to make him. I would actually take hold of Adam's hands place them around the toy and then walk him over to the toy box to put them away. Normally this was done with him screaming and crying. But it was done.

If it makes you feel any better one thing I do remember... your son is at the age that he is supposed to throw things. From a developmental stand point two year old and throwing is normal behavior. Not sure at what age they stop but I do remember Adam walking around throwing anything he could get his hands on!

You know it is hard raising children. Every single one of them is different. What may work with one will not work with another. However, I do believe the key is to make sure they know their behavior is inappropriate; make sure they know that when they behave badly they will be punished; make sure the punishment fits the age of the child; make sure you follow through no matter how hard it may be for you.

Good luck. I hope some of the parents with young children will come and offer you some help/support.

By the way I spanked Adam and my nephews and nieces. It may not be popular but it was effect with my family.

[brandonsmom]

There is a difference between spanking and beating a child. I have four kids and never spanked my older two. Now, looking back I should....my oldest is 18 and so out of control. I too spanked my little two once and never had a major issue, where I had to spank again. My little one(BPI) looked at me with all seriousness and said:"WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO HURT?" I indeed like timeout better, but like Joy said......be consistent. Your son sounds very sensory to me.......try a second opinion maybe....Gayle

[admin]

I think there is a medium between no discipline at all (kids out of control) and spanking. There are other ways to discipline children. It's not that I don't believe in spanking ever, but I think it tends to get way overused. Remember that the goal is to raise responsible morally conscience human beings NOT just ones that are scared of their mama! They need to understand why what they are doing is wrong and not just that mama spanks me when I do this. In my experience working with kids..they ones that get spanked all the time are the least obedient when they know you can't spank them. Spanking is a necessary thing sometimes but I wouldn't use it as a threat. And I don't think that children will automatically be out of control just b/c you didn't spank them...there are other factors there. Just my opinion.

[Mandie]

We spank in our home, but my girls rarely need it. I can not even remember the last time that they got a spanking or what for. What works more is for Sarah, getting on her knees.
age = minutes

For my oldest, i take away a luxury.

I hate spanking them, it breaks my heart. But I got spanked and I turned out alright. Spare the rod..spoil the child.

Like someone above said, there is a big difference between spanking and abusing.

[admin]

Spanking is the reserved right for parents that are too lazy or worse too busy to be consistent in verbal discipline from the very beginning. You write that this problem just creeped up on us, I doubt it. You weren't paying attention.

[admin]

I could not disagree more. Spanking may be a last resort, but it's hardly the disciplinary measure of choice for the lazy! For us, it is one of the tools we use, but not in anger. We do it when the other forms of discipline are not working and the crime committed warrants it. It is also quite effective in correcting behavior in our house. We always follow spankings with hugs and kisses, love and gentle reminders of why the child received it - and they know exactly why and almost universally agree that they deserved it!

I see nothing wrong with appropriate spanking at an appropriate time. It does not mean that the parent is lazy or doesn't do consistent verbal correction.

[admin]

This is a really hot topic for me-I have always found it strange that the law prevents me from even laying a hand on another adult and that I as an adult have the protection of the law against any form of assault, however mild, but that I am permitted to strike my child for whatever reason I see fit. Even if I feel justified in spanking , that still means my child has less rights than I do, and somehow that seems wrong. I personally believe violence breeds violence-the top ten states for paddling are also the top ten states for lynching.
I guess my post may be too controversial to get put on the board, which is a pity-we seem able to say it's ok to smack, but not to hear someone say it's actually not ok. We have a right and a duty to parent as we see fit, but like every other thing we decide to do, it's best to check out what the violence can and does cause. http://www.nospank.net/main.htm

[3sweetiepies]

"There never was a time when a major social problem was solved by beating a child. And there never will be such a time... For centuries adults have injured children and have lied about it, and other adults have heard those lies and then merely turned away... we must begin putting the blame where it belongs." This is an excerpt from the website you posted... I could not agree more. I do, however believe that there is a distinct difference between beating a child and spanking a child. We spank in our home as a last resort. We try other methods first because we do not like to spank, but when you have exhausted all of your
"creative" forms of punishment, and the behavior continues, then something more severe needs to be done. I have three quite well behaved children. They get spanked occasionally. They get love every minute of every day. They get an enormous amount of hugs and kisses. They are told several times a day EVERY DAY that they are loved more than they know. It is quite offensive for you to sit there and say that spanking is for lazy parents. We are very diligent parents. We are very consistent parents. We love our children. We even love them enough to teach them right from wrong and to punish them when they make poor choices.


Message was edited by: 3sweetiepies