Has anyone had issues with depression after this horrible injury? What worked for you. My son has hit rock bottom. He says he wishes he would have died in the accident than to be left with one arm and the pain. I don't know how to help him. I try to remain positive and point out to him what good things he has left, but it's getting worse. His insurance doesnt cover mental psychological stuff. But he wont go anyway. If anyone can share what worked for them, let me know.
Thanks,
Frank's mom
How does one deal with the depression?
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admin
- Site Admin
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Re: How does one deal with the depression?
Hi Alma,
What helped John a LOT was getting out of the house & spending time with his friends. Is that feasible for Frank?
Of course, the horrible pain can really make it hard to get past. How is his pain being treated now? Might be he needs to see a specialist (if he isn't already) and change his medication. I'm sorry I'm fuzzy on your details - what surgery & dates (if any) have been done so far? For a lot of people, the pain does get better over time - and for some, the movement from surgery can relieve the pain too. All that to say, I think things will get better over time.
John got over his injury a LOT faster than I did. It's been over three years and I really have struggled with depression ever since. He's basically moved on with his life & can't even remember much what things were like before the accident - things feel "normal" now since that's what he's used to.
Hope that helps.
Ellen
What helped John a LOT was getting out of the house & spending time with his friends. Is that feasible for Frank?
Of course, the horrible pain can really make it hard to get past. How is his pain being treated now? Might be he needs to see a specialist (if he isn't already) and change his medication. I'm sorry I'm fuzzy on your details - what surgery & dates (if any) have been done so far? For a lot of people, the pain does get better over time - and for some, the movement from surgery can relieve the pain too. All that to say, I think things will get better over time.
John got over his injury a LOT faster than I did. It's been over three years and I really have struggled with depression ever since. He's basically moved on with his life & can't even remember much what things were like before the accident - things feel "normal" now since that's what he's used to.
Hope that helps.
Ellen
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jennyb
- Posts: 1183
- Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2001 5:24 pm
- Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: January 1980 Yamaha RD200 vs 16 wheeler truck, result, 1 totally paralysed right arm. I was 21, now 54. I had no surgery, I don't regret this. Decided to totally ignore limitations (easily done aged 21) adapted very quickly to one handed life, got married, had 3 kids, worked- the effect of the injury on my life (once the pain stopped being constant) was minimal and now, aged 54, I very rarely even think of it, unless I bash it or it gets cold, then I wish I'd had it amputated :) Except for a steering knob on my car, I have no adaptations to help with life, mainly because I honestly don't think of myself as disabled and the only thing I can't do is peel potatoes, which is definitely a good thing.
Re: How does one deal with the depression?
Hi Frank's mom
I was probably more depressed at the very beginning than I cared to admit at the time, and the whole pain/depression/depression/pain thing is a vicious cycle. I found that the more 'normal' things I did like socialising, returning to work etc etc the better I felt. From many years of supporting people with tbpi I can tell you that the level of depression is in no way related to the level of injury. I think doctors sometimes make the mistake of focussing totally on 'fixing' the arm when of course the fixing that needs to be done involves the whole person and is not just about a functioning arm.
The UK tbpi website has a section where people with tbpi have shared their thoughts about some of the non-medical issues in cluding depression, here's a link http://www.tbpiukgroup.homestead.com/faq_1intro.html
I'm sure your son will come out the other side of this, as time goes by and there is less focus on the arm by friends and family then it's easier to get some balance and feel better. The pain too does tend to diminish with time, and is definitely more bearable when we are distracted by work or play.
Let us know how he's going :0)
Jen NZ
I was probably more depressed at the very beginning than I cared to admit at the time, and the whole pain/depression/depression/pain thing is a vicious cycle. I found that the more 'normal' things I did like socialising, returning to work etc etc the better I felt. From many years of supporting people with tbpi I can tell you that the level of depression is in no way related to the level of injury. I think doctors sometimes make the mistake of focussing totally on 'fixing' the arm when of course the fixing that needs to be done involves the whole person and is not just about a functioning arm.
The UK tbpi website has a section where people with tbpi have shared their thoughts about some of the non-medical issues in cluding depression, here's a link http://www.tbpiukgroup.homestead.com/faq_1intro.html
I'm sure your son will come out the other side of this, as time goes by and there is less focus on the arm by friends and family then it's easier to get some balance and feel better. The pain too does tend to diminish with time, and is definitely more bearable when we are distracted by work or play.
Let us know how he's going :0)
Jen NZ
Re: How does one deal with the depression?
Hi Frank's Mom
I am new to the message board - but I do know a little about being the mom...my daughter was injured in a car accident last april. If you want to email me I can tell you what our experience has been. It is not easy and some days are better than others. I am hoping this will be a place to find support! (for me) as well as my daughter.
I am new to the message board - but I do know a little about being the mom...my daughter was injured in a car accident last april. If you want to email me I can tell you what our experience has been. It is not easy and some days are better than others. I am hoping this will be a place to find support! (for me) as well as my daughter.
Re: How does one deal with the depression?
I remember those days, at 18 to about 21, when I was so depressed. I tried once to take my life. Those years are so difficult to begin with and then to add this injury to it is so over whelming.
Family is a great support team but at the age of 18, 19, 20, etc friends seem to be the back board to the support young adults need at that time. Keeping busy is the key. If you sit too long it comes crashing in and to get up and going at that point seems impossible. Once you venture out, just to a park makes a world of difference. Being alone and feeling alone is the silent killer to this injury. And keeping busy keeps the pain away! Sit down, find something to do everyday. Make a plan so your son has something to look forward to do everyday.
I remember those days like yesterday................and I am so sorry!
Kath in Chicago
Family is a great support team but at the age of 18, 19, 20, etc friends seem to be the back board to the support young adults need at that time. Keeping busy is the key. If you sit too long it comes crashing in and to get up and going at that point seems impossible. Once you venture out, just to a park makes a world of difference. Being alone and feeling alone is the silent killer to this injury. And keeping busy keeps the pain away! Sit down, find something to do everyday. Make a plan so your son has something to look forward to do everyday.
I remember those days like yesterday................and I am so sorry!
Kath in Chicago
Re: How does one deal with the depression?
Hi, I found that excercise helps with depression, also time. In my case walking fairly long distances out in the open lifts mood. Also a doc prescribed antidepressants which did help but seem to have served their purpose now and i plan getting off them.
Also doing therapy in a heated pool not only helped range of motion by stretching my arm and shoulder out but was good fun and enjoyable, if your son can get doing aquatherapy (hydrotherapy) I would definitely recommend it. Good luck i hope your son starts to feel better soon.
Also doing therapy in a heated pool not only helped range of motion by stretching my arm and shoulder out but was good fun and enjoyable, if your son can get doing aquatherapy (hydrotherapy) I would definitely recommend it. Good luck i hope your son starts to feel better soon.
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cbe411
- Posts: 1393
- Joined: Sun Jun 01, 2003 8:27 pm
- Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: MVA in 2001, nerve graph in 2002, Median Nerve Transfer in 2004 and an unsuccessful Gracillis Muscle Transfer in 2006. I am living life and loving it! Feel free to contact me :)
- Location: Grosse Pointe Woods, MI
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Re: How does one deal with the depression?
Many will disagree with me here, but in addition to what everyone lese has said here, TANNING... I tried the whole anti-depressant thing but they made me feel CRAZIER! I went to the tanner twice a week, just for a few minutes, not to get tan but WOW it REALLY helped!! Keeping mentally busy as well as physically, if it is possible! i love the gym at 530am! It starts me off on the right foot!
Courtney
Courtney
Re: How does one deal with the depression?
Excerise is defently a must. I wish I could tan, skin cancer!!! Just to add to the rest! When I did tan it hurt my boney elbow???? My arm doesn't straighten out completely. My muscle transfer made my muscle shorter so I have a slight bend in my arm. But being tan made me feel better! Everyone looks good with some color! Hot baths feel great, too!
Kathleen
Kathleen
Re: How does one deal with the depression?
Hi I am Davids mom and he is 11 and it is so hard you are right and what do you say to your own flesh and blood that you love dearly we are coping we do have both good and bad days and he is now almost to a point where he doesn't care he complains all the time about therepy and doing his stimulator but yet turns around and wishes he could have his arm back and he is always arguing with me and I end up getting know where with him and it is so frustrating. David does his normal things such as play his nintendo, he is going out for school recess now but as for the kids in our block don't wanna be with him they are scared they might bump him and hurt him by accident and even one mother told David to his face that she didn' want him knocking on there door anymore cause they don't need a law suit I would never sue anyone if David got bumped he is fine he gets bumped by his new dog all the time or me sometimes and if one kid does it on the block that kids that happens I can't protect him every inch every second he has to learn to get bumped around and he needs to learn what to do when and if it happens and he is doing well with all of that he plays kick well with the kids at school at recess and it is no different if he had 2 arms and he is doing well with encourage Frank to get out and do the things he did before his injury and just keep telling him you love him and remind him you are glad he didn't go to heaven from the accident keep reminding him you want him here on earth with you and that your glad he is here and thankful I tell David it too much but remember you can't tell em stuff like that too much. I have also thought of sending David to a counselor and going with that I did have the school counselor see him every once in awhile but now school is ending but you have the same option too from your school during school season so keep that in mind. I have taken David bowling and it was remarkably fun and if that little shit excuse my mouth he got 4 strike with his left arm (one arm) and I didn't get any with my 2 arms so try to do some of the things with Frank that he did before his accident you will be amazed how well they can do it and it will even shock Frank himself... I hope what I have said made since and I wish you all the luck in the world. Take care and god bless you and your family
Re: How does one deal with the depression?
I am very depressed and I was depressed before the injury, it just took it over the top. As well as my anxiety attacks came with more ferociuosness and frequency. any questions let me know!