Tantrums

[AlannahD]

Anyone out there with good ideas on how to handle temper tantrums, especially in public? Thanks - Camille

[BIGJAVSMA]

I have a few tricks I use with my kids and niece.

1. Leave right away.
2. Act just like they are, literally.
3. No treats!!!
4. Don't let them know you are embarassed or upset- that's the point of the tantrum.
5. Discipline in public just like you do at home. Kids will try to show off if they think they won't get in trouble in public.

And the most important thing... do whatever you're going to do right then. kids don't understand later punishment. Like saying, "when we get home..."

Good luck- Javier will be 2 on MAy 10th, so I know I have some rough times ahead.

MArlyn

[mlynn]

that is soooo true. i do not care where we are people can look at me however, i will put them in timeout for the whole store to see, and let me tell you once or twice of public display of punishment really works but, it must be age app. my 2 yr old is different usually tantrums mean he is tired, hungry, overloaded/ si can o;verload him quicker/ so w/ him i try to explain and some times listen to him cry. if we are in a car i cannot help him so i turn on classical music & try to explain when we will arrive or distract him. on trips to bpi docs we just bought a mini dvd player.

[admin]

my son is 3. he has tantrums if he does not get his way. he is the youngest of 2. jake 7 zak 3. its compitition also. this is normal. i just pick up my son wailing flaying anf all put him over my shoulder ignore him and go home without a word.

[Jake'smom]

I haven't had to deal with this yet as a parent but as a teacher sometimes the best thing is to ignore it. I agree with the others that said it's for attention. I think I would just leave if possible. I personally don't think any kind of corporal punishment in public is appropriate. I don't like to see it and wouldn't feel comfortable doing it in public. Plus-if your intent is to get them to settle down...that's NOT going to work for sure! It'll just make the situation worse and embarass you more!

[Buffy]

I have 2 Daughters...Jordanna will be 4 in June and Emersyne is 18 months. For Tantrums for me the key is to be consistent.

If in public I still do time outs (just last week at the pool Jordanna sat in time out on the side). But even at a young age I let my expectations be known,,,ex. we are here to buy fruit and milk only nothing else. I do not give in, but choose my battles wisely (I do not care if Jordanna wants to wear her tiara out shopping but I care that she wears winter boots when it is cold.
I also try to help my kids identify feelings, even Emersyne at 18 months, alot of frustration comes from not knowing how to express themselves at this age (whether it be I want that really really bad or I'm scared) After we always have a chat about the behavior and what they could do next time (more so Jordanna this one as Emersyne is to young)
'Just remember most people have been in the situation you are in and are sympathising with you...and if there not, Oh Well...lol

Buffy

[brandonsmom]

I have four children, 18, 15, 10 and then Brandon 7 1/2. Boy, temper tantrums, I really hate them. When my oldest was three we were in the store and he wanted M&M's...I said no, he proceeded to open them behind my back.....I paid for them and then asked the mother behind me if her daughter could have them, (they had watched the whole thing and she was so good) she said "YES" so I closed the top of the bag, my son hadn't eaten any yet and handed her the bag. My son was mad, very mad, but it got my point across. Be consistant. I have a big problem with Brandon who is ROBPI and telling him "NO" but we are at the point in our life that a little her and there doesn't matter. I like to blame alot on his sensory issues, too much noise, to many sounds...etc, so I just try not to take him. He is 7 1/2 now and is old enough to stay home with his sister. I do punish in the place. If people don't understand then they are obviously not parents. It is not against the law to discipline your child. But be aware of the things that make your child click....especially if they have SID !!! There are just some places I can never take Brandon or I just take him when I know they won't be too busy. An arcade is one of them. I agree with BUFFY though, choose your battles. If my son throws a temper tantrum because he wants FRESH BROCCOLI vs. Canned corn for dinner, that is awesome, but we don't trade canned corn for POTATO CHIPS. LOL ! Alot comes with parenthood and I have learned so much in my 18 years.....it is different now and financially, fortunately, we are in a different place the 18 years ago. Gayle mom of Brandon 7 1/2 ROBPI

[CW1992]

Thought I'd share a funny! When Brittney was 3 we went to Kroger and she insisted that I buy her "push-ups" ya know those serbert things.... I told her no because we had so many popcyles in the freezer already. Well - the kid had a fit! I was with my mother in law at the time and embarrassed - wanted to muffle her screaming or choke her or something - LOL - because at the top of her voice she kept screaming "I WANT PUSH -UPS!!!!" Anyway - I told her to give up her dream of EVER having another push-up because of the way she acted. I stuck her in the car and drove her home and told her that her "push-up days were over" and 7 years later at my parents house they offered her a push-up and she looked at me all big eyed and said - "can I please have a push -up???" (seven years later!!!!) and I said - OK - my parents thought I was insane that she had gone without for so many years... (not like the kid is deprived by any means!!!) but we both are stubburn. Happy ending - today we eat push-ups together!! Anyway - I think it's best to make it clear what behavior you expect out of your child and let them know that throwing a fit will not get them what they want.
Christy

[brandonsmom]

Oh Christy,
That is too funny.....I loved the reference to KROGER's....I miss that store. (WE lived in Houston for a while) I loved them and Randall's I am a big coupon shopper. It is too funny how kids remember things, but I agree to be firm !!! Gayle

[Ginne]

I always treated my daughters tantrums with humour.

I used to tell my oldest, Nikky, to "yell louder, there are people in the store that haven't heard you yet." I would keep repeating "louder, louder! The guy in automotive didn't catch all of that." when she decided to raise the volume. My other favourite was to say " I'm sorry what? Pardon me? Could you repeat that please I didn't hear you?" every time she yelled.

If she decided to lay on the floor and have a good ol' fit, I would remind her to drum her heels and flail her arms. She eventaully would get tired of people staring and me laughing at her that she would get up and behave for the rest of the shopping trip.

EVERYBODY has had a child throw a major hissy fit in public. No parent will ever blame you for your child's rotten behaviour. Infact, you might just get some moral support if you stick to your guns (I have had lots of parents- most elderly- tell me not "to give in" or "hold in there dear" when Nikky used to whine and have tantrums over a toy that I woulnd't buy or candy bar that was put back on the shelf.

So, hold in there, Camille....I'm behind you!

-Ginne